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Archive for October, 2009

I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.
Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?

The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you cant trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you cant get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.

As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!

The Importance of Optimism

Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.

Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.

Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their childrens developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.

How Parents Can Help

Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to teach them.

You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about lifes events even parents!

Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.

For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like I wonder why Im feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: Now Im going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldnt drive during rush hour. How rude.

Step 3: Create a game called thought catching. This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.

For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?

Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.

For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are automatic in that situation.

Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your childs automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).

Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to decatastrophize the situation that is help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.

Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.

2005 Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

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If you are like many peo0le you can easily get stuck when it comes to the baby shower invitation. Finding the location, creating the guest lists and buying a cake can seem easy compared to picking the right invitation. The baby shower invitation will be the first impression that the guests will have of the event. It is therefore important to convey a message through the baby shower invitation. One really fun and very popular way to do this is use a baby footprint in the invitation. It is hard to resist the charm of a tiny little baby footprint. Baby shower invitations with a footprint are so irresistible be will just have to come to the shower.

So here are some creative ideas that you can use in creating your own baby shower footprint invitation.

1. Printed – A simple printed baby footprint can be a ton of fun. You can use a silhouette of a baby footprint to make the design. This will show the heel, toes and side of the foot. It will look as if a baby stepped in ink and then stamped the card with their feet. You can find clip art online by searching, use a stamp, use a real baby or even just freehand draw your own.

To put a little action into the baby shower footprint invitation you can make a series of footprints and make them decrease in size from large to smaller. This will give the illusion that the person leaving the prints is walking into the card. This is a great way to draw the attention of the viewer into the card and then place your important text information right above this.

2. Stamps – Stamping has become a very popular craft and is use widely among printers and crafters in the business of making invitations. You can easily purchase baby footprint stamps of varying sizes from your local craft store or on the Internet. These can make a fun and fancy decoration to the invitation. There are so many things you can do by varying the colors, size of the stamp and the paper the possibilities are really endless.

For example pick a cute pink (for girls) or a blue (for boys) ink pad and stamp a tiny border made up of footprints all around the invitation. Dont worry to much about making them all straight or in line just have fun and stamp at random. This will give the invitation a light fun feeling.

As an alternative you can purchase a large stamp and simply stamp a big filled in silhouetted image smack dab in the middle of the invitation. Then you can creatively with fun colored pens write all around the footprint following the outline of it. This makes another fun creative and even whimsical invitation.

3. Embossing – This is where the baby footprint is raised from the page. There are two types of embossing. The first is by using a professional printer and paying to have the cards done. A printer can actually emboss the paper and have a raised footprint right in the paper. A baby footprint embossed onto a beautifully textured pure white piece of paper can look very elegant!

If you are the do it yourself type it is very easy to purchase an embossing powder in stamping or craft store. These come in all kinds of fun colors but often gold or silver embossing powder can look very elegant! With embossing powder you will need a stamp and some ink. You start by stamping the invitation with the baby footprint stamp first. Then before the ink dries you poor some of the embossing powder on the stamped area. The embossing powder will stick tot he wet ink. You can then hold the piece of paper over a light bulb or use an embossing gun to heat the powder. Once it gets hot it will melt and adhere to the paper. This makes a fun and easy way to have a very elegant gold embossed baby footprint shower invitation.

4. Cut Out – With this technique you will want to find some stiff paper. Then you will pencil in an outline of a baby footprint and cut it out. You can also make a simple stencil suing a file folder and then quickly trace around the stencil and cut out to speed up the process and make the results more uniform. Then on the baby of the cut out footprint you can write all of your important baby shower details. Where it will take place, RSVP information and so forth.

Either way that you choose the important thing to remember is to have fun in creating the baby shower invitation footprint. Get some friends to help you if you plan on making your own invitations as this will speed up the entire process. It can also be more fun with a group of girlfriends around a table talking and having a good time then cutting 25 baby shower footprint invitations all by yourself.

As an addition to the fun, baby shower footprint invitation, it can be lots of fun to continue with the footprint theme in decorating for the part. You can use the same stamps and decorations that you used on the invitation in other places to decorate for the shower.

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A traditional kids summer camp is one that generally begins in June and continues through August. This type of recreation is a popular activity among children of all ages as it gives them the opportunity to experience new things, meet new people and embark on a journey of independence. With that being said, the following are 5 popular reasons to enroll your child in a traditional kids summer camp.

Independence. During their experience at a traditional kids summer camp, children will experience their first taste of independence. Being away from home for the first time can be scary, but new friends and fun activities will help to make the transition easier. This will also be an important step toward college preparation, which often requires that the child leave home for months at a time.

Responsibility. A traditional kids summer camp will teach children to be responsible in a variety of ways, including the organization of their personal items. While away, they will be personally responsible for maintaining their living quarters and personal items. In addition, they will be required to pack their belongings at the end of their stay and will have to learn the responsibility of organizing their items for the trip home.

Teamwork. One of the most important experiences at a traditional summer camp is that of learning to work together as a team. Whether it be during a sports event, a canoeing trip or other group activity, teamwork is often required. Much like in adulthood where teamwork is essential to everyday life, children will learn the valuable lessons of working with their peers toward achieving a common goal.

Friendship. While at a traditional kids summer camp, new friends will be met and there is plenty of fun to be had. Learning to make friends and how to be a good friend is an important life lesson that is not only important at a traditional summer camp, but also in every day. Situations are always presented when individuals are placed with new faces in school, the workforce, families, etc. Therefore, it is important for children to learn the value of friendship and how it can make every day a little brighter.

Experiences. Traveling to new places, embarking on an exciting journey and exploring the wilderness are all a part of what makes a traditional kids summer camp so special. A nature hike, sailing on a blanket of calm water or sitting around the campfire with friends are just a few of the experiences that a child may encounter while enrolled in a traditional kids summer camp.

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Introduction:

Babyshowers have their origin in ancient time. Like other things, the way and manner in which they are planned and celebrated have changed over time. Here are somethings that you should bear in mind when planning a babyshower today.

1. Know the culture of the would be parents.
Because babyshowers are steeped in tradition and customs, it is important to have a good idea of what is culturally acceptable by the would be parents and what is not. People do not necessarily throw away their culture because they live in modern times. Knowing the cultural limitations, makes the celebration more memorable and worthwile.

2. Know the needs of the parents to be
It is pointless giving gifts that recepients can not use. Would be parents need things for the new baby and are probably stretched to their limits. It would be only worth their while if the gifts they get help to alleviate this burden. Where the gender of the baby is known in advance, give gifts that are gender appropriate.

3. Know the best time to schedule your shower
As the hostess, it behooves you to know when to schedule the babyshower for maximum benefit and impact. Do not schedule your shower too early or too late. Expecting couples need all the financial help they can get. Scheduling a shower too late may mean that the couple had already bought all the things they need for the baby.

4. Know the physical needs of the expecting mother
Pregnancy puts enormous physical challenges and demand on the expecting mother, especially if it is their first pregnancy. It is a good idea to locate the shower closer to home to avoid putting additional strain on an already over challenged mother to be.

5. Know who is on your guest list
The success and failure of a babyshower to a certain extent depends on the attendace. How responsive is your list. Did you consult the couple when compiling your guest list. Remember this is their babyshower not your. You are only a vessel in the actualization of this event.

6. Know your refreshment plan
Preparing for and feeding even the smallest group of poeple can quickly turn into a nightmare if no adequate plans are made for that. Set up a plan about what to serve and how to serve it and work your plan. Make room for emergencies that may arise.

7. Know your plan for entertainment
What is your plan for entertainment? Do you have games that your guests can play? Board games and puzzles make for easy and entertaining games that your guests can play. You might want to organize some kind of poetry reading, depending on the mix of your guests. You can have guests come with their own poems written for the occassion to share with others.

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Quick pop quiz! How can you accomplish the following things with the push of a button:

Help your kids improve their reading skills?
Grow their vocabulary?
Help them sit quietly (willingly!)? and
Entertain them too?

Easy- Play audiobooks!

That’s right Mom and Dad, listening to books on tape provide all these benefits and more.

Did you know that for a significant part of their childhood, your kids’ intelluctual capacity will be greater than their reading ability? That means that they can understand material when it is read aloud to them that they would not be able to read. Interesting isn’t it?

My kids love audiobooks and I love that they love them. As a homeschooling Mom of 4 kids, I do a lot of reading aloud. Audiobooks give my voice a little break.

You can play books on tape when you’re in the car running errands. Naptime and bedtime are also favorite times to listen to a story. (And if your kids are like mine, you wear out long before they do so books on tape are a lifesaver for helping them nod off after you’ve done the bedtime story!)

Listening to audio books strengthens your child’s ability to listen, a skill very crucial for their academic achievement.

Audio books also let your child hear fluent reading with a bit of flair… a lot of them are read by the author or professional actors.

If your child is struggling with reading, audio books associate reading with pleasure…so important if your child is to develop a lifelong love of reading!

Audio books help your child learn to visualize a story by using their imagination instead of the pictures (in contrast, watching television trains the brain to be lazy and rely on
images).

Why not get your child on the fast track to reading success with the push of the play button too? To get you started, here are some of my kids’ favorite titles:

Charlotte’s Web (read by the Author, E.B. White)

The Jamie Lee Curtis collection (And I dare you to get through “Tell me about the night I was born” without crying!)

A New Coat for Anna
The Maurice Sendak collection
The B.F.G. by Roald Dahl

Have fun listening together!

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5 Parenting Tips To Help Your Child Get More Exercise

Was parenting easier forty years ago?

As a mom in the new millennium, I dream about the idea of parenting in a world where streets are safe and parents can let their children run freely through the neighborhood, their bodies naturally challenged with the exercise of play.

Instead today, before the slam of the car door fades and the backpack drops on the floor, the TV is switched on and the last few hours of daylight disappear in a haze of video games and over processed snack foods.

Even the concerned, well-meaning parent can often stand helpless, wondering how to compete against marketing genius and instant gratification. Exercise and carrot sticks have a hard time competing with Xboxes, SpongeBob and potato chips.

The proof is all around us. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the health of too many North Americans is in danger because of unhealthy lifestyles. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity)

The latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 30 percent of U.S. adults 20 years of age and older – over 60 million people – are obese. The CDC reports the percentage of young people who are overweight has more than tripled since 1980.

My kids arent obese – why should I be concerned?

Your kids are normal, right? You are parenting just fine. But in a world where walking is limited, school P.E. programs are being cut, and cars, elevators and buses eliminate our chance to exercise naturally, we need to make a concerted effort to make physical activity part of our day and our childrens days.

Despite all the benefits of being physically active, most Americans are sedentary. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/contributing_factors.htm). Inactive children are likely to become inactive adults. (www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4596)

So as parents how can we get our kids moving?

“The American Heart Association recommends that children and adolescents participate in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day.”

The great news is exercise comes in many forms and can be a lot of fun! With a little creativity you can easily add some fun physical activity into your parenting style.

1. Lead the way

You need to set a good example. Kids, especially younger children, naturally follow their parents. So make sure you are looking after your own health and making physical activity a priority in your life.

2. Do it together

In todays overscheduled world, we need to make sure we are spending quality time with our children. What better way than to be active together. Since kids cant be alone roaming the neighborhood, parents need to play with them.

3. Make it fun

Put on some music and dance. Play tag. Roller blade. Basically just play. Provide them with toys and equipment that encourage them to be active while having fun.

Bikes, scooters, hockey sticks and baseball bats will get your kids moving and active. For preschool children, ride on toys that get them exercising like pedal cars, big wheels and tricycles are always a great parenting decision.

4. Cheer them on

Create positive reinforcements with encouragement and support. Help them find sports and activities that build their self esteem. Attend their sporting events and let them know you are their biggest fan whether they win or lose.

5. Turn it off

Of course, we need to limit the time our kids watch TV and play video games. But make sure you do it in a positive way. If they are angry that you just turned off their favorite show, they might not be too excited about going out rollerblading with you.

Allow screen time during designated hours, preferably after homework is done and when physical activity is finished, like in the evening or on Saturday morning when tired parents might need to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.

Adding more physical activity into your familys routine will help you all feel better and get you having more fun together. Most importantly, as you model a healthy lifestyle you will help instill in your children lifelong habits and healthy attitudes toward exercise and physical activity.

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Oct
29

7 Themes for Baby Shower

Posted by admin

It is always an immense joy to have someone added to your family, especially if it is a cute little baby. And how else would you celebrate the joy of having one? Plan the most fun and unique baby shower youll ever have. Preparing for a baby shower should be fun and exciting. You can be as creative as you want. Go simple or go real extravagant. As long as you will make your party special and unforgettable, you can go ahead and experiment on the different themes you can have.

You can go traditional or get a little creative and make your baby shower a lot more unique. You can spice up the party with different themes that can either be serious, adorable or humorous.

Below are some popular themes ideas that would definitely be a hit in any baby showers.

Fairytale Themes
There are thousand of fairytale characters that have been a tradition throughout baby shower parties. Cinderella and Snow White are the most common ones for girl. Peter Pan is the most suitable character for boys. This kind of theme can be made interesting with colorful decorations and creates a fantasy- like atmosphere.

Baby bottles theme
You can have a baby bottle as your centerpiece in this particular theme. Use them as cute containers for game prizes. You can make fun of them too by using baby bottles as cups or mugs.

Teddy bear theme
Everyone loves these cuddly teddies. They are perfect for decorations. You dont have to buy teddy bears though to fill up the room. Old but presentable ones will do. It would be memorable to have the guest of honors favorite teddy as a centerpiece.

Diaper theme
Begin with sending cute diaper cut- out invitation. Guests should bring their own diaper gifts with a particular size. This way, you can save on diapers even up to three months!

Nursery rhyme theme
Its a good idea to make nursery rhymes as theme for your party. You can make use of famous character like Humpty Dumpty, Little Bo Peep, or the famous Mother Goose. Pictures could be nice as decorations but it would really look nice if you have some kind of a replica. You can also add on some of the line to your invitations.

Themes for twins
Remember the famous Noahs ark story? All animals are paired in twos when lodging the ark. Its the perfect theme for expectant mothers of twins. Dont forget to note in your invitation that you will be having twins, this way; guests will have to bring two gifts of either the same kind or two different ones.

Color themes
The usual color themes for girls are pink and blue for the boys. These are simple themes that can be just as fun as other themes. Decorate your venue with your chosen color theme. In putting up colored ribbons, intertwine them with a white ribbon too. This would give the room an elegant look. If you are unsure whether your baby would be a boy or a girl, settle for neutral colors like green or yellow.

Having a theme in your baby shower can add a little more coordination in the things you need to prepare. A theme would dictate which kind of food you need to prepare, the look of the invitations and how you would decorate your chosen venue. With a theme, you would have to be groping in the dark on how you would create that wonderful baby shower.

If you need more details, Baby Showers Revealed normally sells for $47.77, but you get an instant $27.00 rebate. So, you can get it at a discounted price of $19.97 for a limited time only. If you are not satisfied with this product, there is a 100% Money-Back Guarantee for 90 days! Along with this book, a 5-part e-course on baby showers is also available for a limited time only. You can order at http://www.BabyShowerPlanning.net

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5 Must Ask Questions For Anyone Potty Training A Toddler

If you are thinking about starting to potty train your toddler, there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you begin potty training. Being well prepared for this challenging transition from diapers to potty is one of the best things you can do to make this as easy as possible on your child.

1. Is My Child Ready?
You want to start potty training at just the right time. You will know that your child is ready when he or she gets more interested in you going to the potty, tells you right away when the diaper is wet or pulls on it and seems uncomfortable with it. Give potty training a try, if your child doesnt seem ready despite the signs, wait a few weeks and try again.

2. Am I Ready?
Just as important as your child being ready is that you are ready. Prepare yourself mentally for the transition from diaper to potty for your child. You will need a lot of patience and understanding. There are going to be resentment, tears and the occasional accident. Make sure you are prepared for this so you can stay calm and supportive for your child.

3. Do We Need A Potty Chair?
A regular toilet is very intimidating for a child. The seat is rather large and your child will have to hold on to avoid falling in. In addition things vanish in there when you flash which can be a pretty scary thought for your child. Many kids are more comfortable with a potty chair at first. After a few weeks you should be able to move on to a potty seat insert that fits on your regular toilet eliminating the potty cleanup.

4. Should We Use A Potty Doll?
A potty doll is not a necessity when it comes to potty training, but can be a great tool. A potty doll will pee like an actual child and usually comes with diapers, panties and a potty chair. The doll can help tremendously during the pre-potty training phase when you are getting your child used to the idea of going in the potty instead of the diaper. You can illustrate whats supposed to happen on the doll and let your child warm up to the idea by playing with the doll in the same fashion. When you are ready to potty train, put the doll on the potty right next to your child.

5. Should We Use Potty Training Rewards?
Before you start potty training, you should decide if you are going to use some sort of rewards as encouragement for your child, or if you will simply make your child feel great about his successes by being his cheer leader. Simple potty training rewards can include stickers, candy like a few jellybeans or M&Ms, or you can use some sort of tracking chart for bigger rewards (i.e. If you use the potty for an entire week without accident, you get a small toy). Using simple rewards can be a great potty training tool, but it isnt by any means necessary as long as you get the message across to your child that you are proud of him.

Take a few minutes to answer these potty training questions for yourself and go over them with your spouse as well to ensure you are on the same page before you start potty training your child. It will help you give your child a clear picture of what you are both trying to accomplish and will cut down on any confusion.

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Children are living with curiosity. They learn lots of things in life, gifted naturally with intuition, and open toward everything they find.

Everything seems to be interesting to them. Thats why they want to know about many things. Its indeed a sign of good development.

Parents need to help children develop their conscience, which will be a great means of getting spiritual experiences. Through these, theyll learn about self-esteem and moral values.

Of course parents want children have and familiar with good values in life. As parents, what can you do then? Here are 5 ways you can do to enrich their conscience:

Give good examples. What you say and do everyday reflect what you think about the world. If you say good stuff, your children will do the same. Children are great imitators. Its important for you to say and do nice things anytime anywhere.

Listen when they talk. Sometimes your children ask questions that sound silly to adults, like Mom, where does the sun sleep when the night comes? Listen to them and answer seriously, The sun doesnt sleep. It shines in other places in the world. By listening, children will feel that they get respect from their parents.

Show happiness. Show and share all the happiness and positive energy and thoughts with the children. If youre happy, theyre happy too. By doing this, the children will learn that life is enjoyable.

Introduce them to nature. Tell them that all things happen in the world are connected to each other and that theres a reason for it. For example, water is needed to irrigate plants and plants are food source for other living creatures.

Be flexible with your rules. Children should be informed about what they should do. However, always take notice on their development. There will be time when they can decide what they want to do. By being flexible with your rules, children will stay cheerful and expressive.

Those 5 tips are actually easy to carry out. Just place yourself as your childrens parents and friends as well.

Again, remember that children are good imitators. Once you do or say something bad, theres a great chance that they will do or say the same.

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Oct
29

4 Parenting Styles

Posted by admin

Every grandmother and grandfather will tell you hilarious stories of their children when they were first born. And for every funny and touching story they have, they will be able to tell you another for every hardship they encountered. Parenting is something that is done in many different ways by each parent. The following are four general styles employed by parents.

Authority: Authoritarian parents rule on just that: authority. Commands are given to children that they must follow regardless of the circumstances. If these commands are not followed, harsh punishment will ensue. These parents do not welcome feedback from their children. In fact, it is met with severe punishment. The children tend to be quiet and unhappy. They have more of a fear than a love for their parents. Male children have trouble dealing with anger and female children have trouble facing adversity due to their heavily structured life where nothing ever changes.

Indulgent: Indulgent parents tend to be described as lenient. They allow immature and childish behavior. These parents expect the children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. These parents tend to be democratic and allow for feedback from there children on issues. They will hear both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children.

Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. Theyre able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what theyre child says, questions and requests. These children tend to be the happiest, most confident and self assured of all the mentioned parenting styles. It is very difficult to be a purely authoritative parent.

Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all.

We wish you many happy stories!

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