Find info on your childrens health

Summary: Are you having trouble finding time to be with your children and to be with each other? Discover how important this balance is, and what may be the underlying issue in the way of couple time.

A reader emailed me the following question:

Many dads and moms, especially those that work full-time, are torn by guilt when it comes to time allocation. They have been away from the kids so long during the working week that the weekends MUST be spent with them. Result: There is simply NO couple-time. Any suggestions?

One thing that is often not realized by parents is that a happy and harmonious marriage is one of the greatest gifts they can give to their children. Most children will gladly spend less time with their parents when they know that some of the time being spent away from them is about creating and maintaining a loving relationship between their parents.

Parents who work full time do need to be sure to spend some quality time with their children each evening. I was in this position when I was raising my three children. My husband and I would each spend an hour each evening, sometimes with one child and sometimes with two. On the weekends, we set aside some time alone with each other and alone with ourselves, which our children learned to respect. Then we spent the rest of the time in family time. Parents need to understand that they are the role models for their children, and if they are not taking responsibility for their own needs, their children will not learn to take responsibility for their own needs. What we role model regarding personal responsibility for our own happiness and wellbeing is as important as spending time with our children. Both are equally important in raising healthy children.

When parents do not find the time to be with each other or to be alone with themselves, they may need to examine what else might be going on within themselves and in the relationship. Are they using their work and their children to avoid themselves and each other? If their time alone or together is not fulfilling, then work time and kid time can be ways of filling an inner emptiness. Or, the time problems might be a result of unexamined priorities.

We all tend to do what is truly important to us. If work is important to us, then we may work a lot. If parenting is important to us, then we might spend lots of time with our children. If our creative pursuits, hobbies, or sports are important to us, then we will find time for them. The same is true for our relationship. If it is very important to us, we will find the time for it. So, if parents are not finding the time to be together, they might want to examine their priorities and explore why time together might not be important.

Often time together is important to one partner and not to the other. When this is the case, partners need to explore what is happening between them that is leading to the one partner not making time together a high priority. Some of the issues you may want to examine are:

* Is one partner fearful of being pulled on for sex?

* Is one partner fearful of being pulled on to fill up the other partner emotionally?

* Does one partner feel fearful of being criticized in various ways when they are alone together?

* Is one partner emotionally unavailable and the other partner feels lonely with him or her when they are alone together?

* Has one partner become so preoccupied with being successful or making money that they no longer have anything to talk about?

* If fun lacking in the relationship?

* Does one partner feel resistant to being controlled by the other partner?

* Is one partner resenting the imbalance regarding work, chores and childcare?

* Is one partner feeling angry or withdrawn? If so, why?

If the real reason for not spending time together is truly about not enough time, then you need to consider how you can get help, such as hiring a neighborhood teenager, to do some chores or spend some time with young children.

If spending time together is a high priority, you can find a way!

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It seems the more advanced the online technology, the more trickery there is online. It may be hard to believe, but there are people who spend their time dreaming up ways to hack into strangers’ computers to swipe their identities and simply wreak havoc with their files. What is even more upsetting, is that a lot of times these troublemakers target youngsters and it is not their accounts they are looking to corrupt, but the kids themselves.

What do online predators actually do?

Basically, online predators scope out internet chat rooms, message boards, emails, and instant messaging to find vulnerable children. When they find a likely target, they will contact them and do whatever it takes to capture their attention and earn their trust. For example, they will find out the child’s hobbies, the kind of music they like, and they express an interest in the kid’s problems at home and at school. Then as soon as they have established a relatively strong bond, they will change the nature of the conversation. The safe and mundane topics of conversation will eventually become more intimate and sexual in nature.

As a parent, how can you protect your children when they are online?

The easiest piece of advice we can give is to monitor your children’s computer use whenever possible. We know that it is not possible to keep an eye on your child 24/7, so here are some additional tips:

-Tell your kids in advance about the danger of online predators. Keep an on going dialogue and encourage your entire family to ask questions about online safety.
-Keep the computer in a common area rather than in your kid’s private room.
-When your child is online, take a seat next to them and watch what they are doing. If any website or email looks suspicious, divert their attention or delete the message together.
-Tell your kids not to respond to any emails or instant messages that are from strangers.
-Until your children are old enough to truly comprehend the dangers that exist online, do not let them participate in chat rooms or discussion forums.
-Likewise, until the kids are old enough, have them use a family email that you can easily monitor.

In addition to these tips, there are online tools that will help you keep your kids safe online. To find these tools check out your Internet Service Provider (also called an ISP), which often offers security devices for free. Next, try your local computer store and ask about the types of software they have that will block and filter unwanted messages and websites. And also check out your web browser, which may have parental controls that you can manually switch on and off.

Unfortunately, even if you have done everything imaginable to protect your children from online trouble, sometimes a predator will slip through the cracks. If this happens, do not blame yourself or your kid. Take a deep breath and approach the problem with a level and logical head.

Some warnings signs to watch for include:
-Your child may spend a crazy amount of time online.
-You are suddenly fielding phone calls from strangers who are asking to speak with your child, or your child is suddenly receiving packages in the mail from strangers.
-Pornography pops up on the family computer.
-You notice that your child is withdrawing from his or her usual activities.
-You find out that your kid is using someone else’s online account.

Finally, there are a lot of helpful services on the internet if your kids do wind up having trouble online. The best advice is to deal with the problem directly and as soon as you can.

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Juggling children and work can be a challenge, whether you work outside the home or you are a work from home mom, but, in some ways, work from home moms face more challenges than moms who work outside the home. After all, when youre in a traditional office, you dont need to worry that a coworker will burst into the room and scream Mommy, he took my doll, just as you are beginning an important conference call.

So how does a work from home mom manage to keep her children happy and busy while she is trying to get her job done?

First, you need to let your children know when you are not to be disturbed. Set up a schedule that includes playtime and work time and remind them that if they dont disturb you while you are working, you will be able to give them your complete attention during playtime. As a reminder, use a do not disturb sign on your office door when you absolutely cannot be interrupted.

Of course, it is easy for your children to behave while you are working if they have something to do. Fill a box with games and toys that can only be used while mom is working. Make sure you add a new puzzle, coloring book, or small toy on a frequent basis, to keep your children interested.

If you dont work on the phone, it is a bit easier to keep your children content when you are working. Set up an office space just for them, complete with a small table and chairs. Fill a lunch box with some of their favorite snacks and a few juice boxes each morning, so you arent inundated with requests for food and drinks. Add a childrens magazine, simple puzzles, coloring books, and art supplies. When your children are able to work along side you, the number of interruptions should decrease drastically.

For moms who really need peace and quiet, but have small children, a mothers helper can be a great solution. Since you will still be in the house, you do not need a fully trained baby sitter to help out. Instead, look for a teen who has little babysitting experience, but likes kids. She will probably be happy to watch your children while you work for the cost of a few good after school snacks and a few dollars.

Finally, sometimes its just not possible to keep your children quiet and content while you are working. If your child is ill, you may just need to decide to take the day off. After all, the reason you are working from home is to have the flexibility to be there for your children when they need you!

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Summer is a great time for children. School is out for most of them and its time to play. Running, climbing, building sand castles, swimming…

Sweating, sunburns, complaining.

It isnt necessarily all that easy to keep the kids busy all summer long, especially on particularly hot days, the days when the kids come into the house five minutes after you send them out, complaining its too hot outside! What can you do to keep them busy, short of turning the AC on full blast, driving up your electrical bill and letting them watch television or play video games all day? Plenty!

First of all, have some cheap, cool treats on hand. Otter Pops or homemade popsicles dont cost much, and you just have to enforce the rule that they are eaten outside to limit the mess. These may only keep the kids out for a short time or they might find something fun to do outside anyhow.

Try getting the kids outside to play in the earlier and later parts of the day, when its cooler outside. Then you wont feel so bad if theyre watching television in the hottest part of the day. Try to keep television watching/video game playing under two hours a day total.

Have fun things ready for them to do indoors. Board games work very well, depending on the ages of your kids. My daughter loves doing projects, that is, arts and crafts. She has a box of supplies she can use, or we look at our copy of Little Kid Crafts for All Seasons to get ideas.

Many parents choose to enroll their kids in activities for the summer. This is good if not taken to extremes – kids need time to just be kids. My daughter is taking swimming lessons for two different sessions this summer, as well as a one day a week drama class. The drama class suits her style (it starts next week), so I expect she will enjoy it, yet it wont take much out of her summer fun. The swimming lessons are a necessity since she has regular access to a pool at her grandparents house.

Of course, just because the kids are complaining that its too hot outside doesnt mean you have to give in and let them play inside. If you have a yard, get those kids into swimsuits and sunscreen (if they arent wearing it already) and turn on those sprinklers. You know you loved running through the sprinkler as a kid. You dont even need to buy the ones designed for kids to play with, jut make sure yours is fairly kid friendly – low to the ground, no sharp edges and so forth.

Ride bicycles, go hiking, get some of their friends to come over to play one sort of tag or another, all the stuff you enjoyed as a kid. In many cases it isnt that its too hot to play outside, its that your kids are bored.

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Children are more sedentary than ever, watching television and playing video games instead of biking to the playground or playing kickball in the backyard with their pals is a major cause. And even schools have stopped emphasizing fitness, in some school districts, physical education has vanished completely because of under-funding.

Kids need regular exercise to build strong bones and muscles. Exercise also helps children sleep well at night and stay alert during the day. Such habits established in childhood help adolescents maintain healthy weight despite the hormonal changes, rapid growth and social influences that often lead to overeating. And active children are more likely to become fit adults.

As childhood has become more sedentary, children have put on weight lots of it. In the past 30 years, the rate of childhood obesity has more than tripled, leading to a dramatic increase in the number of children with type 2 diabetes, a disease once limited to sedentary, overweight adults.

You do have the power to give your children a lifelong appreciation for activities that strengthen their bodies.

Follow these tips to keep your kid active:

#1 Set a good example

If you want an active child, be active yourself. Take the stairs instead of the elevator and park the car farther away from stores. Never make exercise seem like a punishment or a chore. Find fun activities that the whole family can do together, such as:

 Swimming
 Nature hikes
 Bike riding
 Canoeing
 Walks with the family dog
 Playing Tag
 Dancing
 Hopscotch
 Jump-rope
 Hide & Seek

If mom and dad exercise, it’s a very powerful message for a child to exercise. In addition to getting active, exercising together gives you good family time. The goal is to get kids moving, whatever the activity.

#2 Limit Screen Time

There are a lot of reasons why children are less active today, but the biggest culprit is the television set, followed closely by video games and computers, these activities encourage a sedentary lifestyle by limiting movement for long periods of time.

Watching television is directly related to childhood obesity. Children who watch more than five hours of television a day are eight times more likely to be obese than are children who watch less than two hours of television a day.

A surefire way to increase your children’s activity levels is to limit the number of hours they’re allowed screen time each day. When children are bored they find things to do.

#3 Promote Activity, not Exercise

Of course sports and other organized activities are a great way to keep your kid moving however, kids don’t have to be in sports or take dance classes to be active. Every kid is wired differently. We all have certain strengths and characteristics that permit us to do certain things better than others. Many noncompetitive activities are available for a child who isn’t interested in organized athletics.

The key is to find things that your child likes to do. For instance, if your child is artistically inclined, go on a nature hike to collect leaves and rocks that your child can use to make a collage. If your child likes to climb, head for the nearest neighborhood jungle gym or climbing wall. If your child likes to read, then walk or bike to the neighborhood library for a book.

#4 Start Young

Remember your energetic toddler? Direct that energy into a lifelong love of physical activity. By incorporating physical activity into our children’s lives at an early age, you are setting the foundation for good fitness habits in the years to come. For instance, have your child show you how bunnies hop, eagles fly or dogs wag their tails.

Some other suggestions for keeping kids interested:

 Play games your elementary school child loves, like tag, cops and robbers, Simon says and red light, green light. If you don’t remember the rules for these games, make up your own or walk to your local library and check out a book on games.

 Let your toddlers and preschoolers see how much fun you can have while being active. Don’t just run with them. Run like a gorilla. Walk like a spider. Hop like a bunny. Stretch like a cat.

 Plan your family vacations around physical activities hiking, biking, skiing, snorkeling, swimming or camping. Take along a ball or Frisbee disc to sneak in some activity at rest stops.

 Make chores a family affair. Who can pull the most weeds out of the vegetable garden? Who can collect the most litter in the neighborhood? Have your kids help shovel the snow off the driveway and use that excess snow to build a huge snow fort.

 Vary the activities. Let each child take a turn choosing the activity of the day or week. Batting cages, bowling and restaurant play areas all count. What counts is that you’re doing something active as a family.

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The kids love going to engaging activities in summer and meet new friends. Parents love having a few weeks of peace and quiet. Its no wonder summer camps have retained their population for several decades. Summer camp may seem like a perfect move for your family, but there might be a problem: the cost.

Planning to have a childless summer on the cheap? Summer camp costs can make that very difficult. High-end specialty camps can cost as much as ten thousand dollars. Even general-interest camps of shorter durations often cost thousands. Finding a cheap summer camp with which you will be comfortable is very difficult.

There are a few solutions. One can approach the problem from two directions–they can search out the best possible deal among appropriate camps and they can take proactive steps to decrease the cost of almost any camp. Optimally, both strategies will be used in the quest for a cheap summer camp.

Finding a less expensive camp requires some research. The best advertised and marketed camps are probably the ones with which you are most familiar, and those operations are often among the most expensive options. Local summer camps, particularly those operated by charitable or non-profit organizations may not buy publicity, but that is one reason they can cost a lot less. If you really need to cut prices, consider a day-camp solution. A days-only operation is the thriftiest cheap summer camp plan.

Other savings steps include requesting a camp scholarship, sometimes referred to as a campership. Many camps will extend low-cots opportunities to children who would otherwise be unable to attend. Partial and full camperships are frequently available. Parents should also be aware that Uncle Sam can help turn their childrens summer break into a cheap summer camp experience. Those who have children in camp in order to maintain their gainful employment are eligible for a tax break related to the expense of the camp.

It may not be easy to create a cheap summer camp experience, but it is possible to hold down expenses. By finding the right camp and investigating cost-savings measures, your family can enjoy the advantages of a summer camp experience at a reduced price.

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Why do some animals seem to know before we do that a storm’s coming? One theory is that they can sense changes in barometric pressure.

For house pets, as well as animals in the wild, tiny environmental changes warn of danger, and instinct tells them to flee. But even when safely indoors, many animals are frightened by thunder. Here are some tips for weathering those inevitable storms:

* Let cats hide. Make sure your cat has access to its favorite hiding place and let it stay there until the storm’s over. Otherwise, frightened cats may bite or scratch to defend themselves.

* Create a safe place for your dog. If it feels safest under your bed, make sure your dog has access to your bedroom.

The Humane Society of the United States suggests creating a hiding place that’s small, dark and shielded as much as possible from frightening sounds. Put some food near the hiding place so your dog will associate it with pleasant experiences. And encourage it to go there as soon as you hear thunder rumbling in the distance. Never force your pet to go to the hiding place, and be sure it’s not trapped there and can leave at any time.

* Help your pet relax with a supplement. Calming products, like Pluto Pet’s Pet Calming Spray, will relieve your animal’s fear and nervousness. Made from natural ingredients, it acts quickly, causes no side effects and meets all Food and Drug Administration guidelines for good manufacturing practices.

* Create white noise. HSUS suggests turning on a fan, radio or television near your animal’s hiding place to block out the sound of thunder.

* Distract your pet. A game of fetch, for example, can take the dog’s mind off the thunder.

* Act like nothing’s wrong. If you reassure your pet with treats, HSUS says, it will associate fearful behavior with rewards.

* Don’t crate your pet. A frightened dog can injure itself in a crate. For more information, visit www.plutopet.com. – NU

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All children look forward to summer vacation, but the change in routine can make it difficult for them to keep up with a proper oral care regimen. Also, summertime delights such as lemonade and ice cream can put them at high risk for tooth decay-the single most common chronic childhood disease, according to the U.S. Surgeon General. By following these tips from Crest Healthy Smiles, a national outreach program designed to combat the nation’s oral health epidemic, children can keep their smiles healthy all summer long.

• Play hide and seek…but don’t let soda find its way into your fridge! After playing outside, kids come home thirsty and usually reach for a soda. It’s best to “hide” carbonated beverages, which contain very high levels of acid and dissolve calcium from tooth enamel. Instead, keep low-sugar drinks like natural fruit juice or water on hand so kids will “seek” out a healthier way to quench their thirst.

• Read your child’s way to a healthy smile. Reading with your child is a way to bring the family together during the summer, while learning valuable lessons at the same time. Pick a book that encourages healthy habits, like “Ricky and Andrea’s Healthy Beautiful Smiles,” co-authored by celebrity mom Dayanara Torres. This story, about a brother and sister as they take their first trip to the dentist and learn valuable oral care habits, is available for free by calling (866) 989-9968 (while supplies last).

• Plan a field trip to the dentist. To ward off gum disease and tooth decay, it is important to visit the dentist twice a year. To get your children excited for the occasion, treat them to a trip to the zoo or a picnic in the park after the appointment. Having something fun to look forward to after the dentist makes it feel more like a field trip.

• Keep pesky caries away! Ice cream and popsicles are popular ways to keep cool during the summer. However, occasional sugary treats don’t have to ruin healthy teeth and gums. Afterwards, just make sure your child brushes for a full two minutes with cavity-repellent toothpaste with fluoride to keep that smile healthy! To make brushing more flavorful, stock up on toothpaste flavors like lemon or bubble gum.

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During vacation, kids often stay up late, sleep in late and play outside a lot. Today’s kids also spend more time online during the summer, playing video games, surfing the Internet, and meeting friends in chat rooms and social networking sites. Although these online activities can provide hours of entertainment and learning, they can also expose kids to inappropriate content or people who might want to take advantage of them.

Parents don’t have to unplug the computer or be Internet gurus to help protect their children online. “Even if parents can’t tell a blog from a wiki, new technology safeguards and online resources can help them take more control of their children’s Internet use and create a safer online experience for the entire family,” said Kristin Johnsen, senior director for security outreach at Microsoft Corp., which offers dozens of pages of online safety guidance and resources online for no charge, at http://www.microsoft.com/athome.

In addition, family safety settings in many popular products-such as Xbox 360, Windows Live and MSN Premium–provide security tools to help block objectionable Web sites, control who corresponds with children, and guard against online attacks.

Triva and Toby Hazelton looked to these online resources and the advice of friends to create strict Internet rules for their children. Courtney, 12 and Taylor, 10 can send and receive e-mail and instant messages but only with friends that the Hazeltons know. They can use the Internet, but only pre-approved sites–and only when Mom and Dad are home.

“We also talk openly and often with our kids about the threats on the Internet,” Triva said. “We want our kids to think independently and know we won’t always be able to control their Internet use, so we want them to feel comfortable telling us if something online makes them uncomfortable.”

Here are some other tips from Microsoft to consider:

• Set clear rules for Internet usage. Prepare children for the online world just as you would for the real world. Establish guidelines and know who they are communicating with and what they are seeing online.

• Keep personal information private. Don’t share personal information about yourself online -such as your name, address, age or gender–with people you don’t know in the real world.

• Consider PC proximity. It might make sense to place the family’s computer in a common room, especially for PCs that don’t have family safety software installed. Parents are able to provide supervision and guidelines more easily this way.

• Keep communication open between parents and children. When kids see something on the Internet that makes them feel uncomfortable, assure them they can talk to a parent or other trusted adult about it without fear of getting their computer privileges taken away.

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You see the news stories all the time. Child or young teenager lured by sex predator over the Internet. Its very scary to parents. However, you should not panic, there are solutions that you can look to for your childs safety.

You should not feel that you have to ban your children from using the Internet because of all the bad things you hear about. You should however open a good line of communication with your child. That goes for their offline safety as well as their online safety.

They need to know they can come to you about anything. Simply getting mad at them every time they come to you or not having the time to talk to them puts them at risk because they will stop coming to you and try to deal with problems by themselves.

And that means you will not know what is going on in your childs life. So please, be a parent. Take the time to talk about safety and Internet safety with your child.

You should also get computer-monitoring software for your computers at home. There is software that will monitor all computer activity and give you a report on that activity so you know what is going on with your computer and your children.

The software will block inappropriate websites, images, and text content. It comes with a database of known bad neighborhoods already installed and you have the ability to add to the list. It will check images and text in WebPages, emails, chatrooms, and more and block that content.

You can even have it alert your cellphone or email whenever your child encounters inappropriate content. This is what is recommended. http://www.OnlineSafetyShield.com

Of serious concern is the worldwide traffic in child pornography. Problems range from chat room predators who ask children to post pictures of themselves, which serve as fuel for fantasy, to the solicitation and trading of hard-core material involving minors.

If you ever run into such material online, call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-843-5678 or report it to any of the following websites that deal with getting these websites removed.

http://www.CyberAngels.org A well established website that deals with the child porn issue.

If you live outside of the US, here is a list of where you can report pornography in many countries. http://www.tinhat.com/children/report_pornography.html

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