Positive Praise for your Child’s Pride
Praising a child correctly is important to the development of positive behaviors. It’s a great way to encourage constructive future behavior. When you give praise you are giving your child a feeling of positive feedback, which increases their sense of confidence, self esteem and abilities. When you praise your child, you are pointing out the way they’ve acted, an action they’ve taken, or simply who they are. When your child looks good, tell him so. When your child does anything that pleases you, let him know. You should also praise a child’s effort to do well, even if it doesn’t come out so good in the end. You should find something each day about your child to praise.
Be on the lookout constantly for behaviors or actions deserving of praise, but don’t be over the top about it. Be sincere and honest in your praise. Wait for unexpected or previously unnoticed good behavior and praise your child for it. And when you see such action or behaviors, praise immediately so the child will know exactly what behavior or action was deemed praiseworthy. It’s also very important to look your child square in the eye when you praise him, and reinforce the positive behavior, action or trait being praised with a gesture such as a warm smile, a hug, scruff of the hair, or caress his face while you tell him.
Be exact, and state precisely what action, behavior or trait you find praiseworthy. And most importantly, never directly follow praise with criticism or negative comments. Let your child know what they did right and reward them for it before you let them know what they did wrong and punish for misbehaving or a misdeed.
So be sure to admire and congratulate your child and celebrate the good person they are growing into by praising their positive actions, behaviors and traits daily. You’ll be building a strong sense of self in your child and you’ll grow closer as a result.
Initial enthusiasm in after school activities tends to wane after the
first excitement is over. This is but natural. The trick is to keep up the
hard work even after this. How do you keep your child motivated? This is
of particular importance when the child goes in for educational after
school programs.
Make the career-academics connection early on:
Let your child understand how important studies are. Let him know that
an excellent career is wholly dependent on wholesome learning. To develop
his interest in studies, plan family activities that are connected with
his studies. Emphasize the real-world connection to academics whenever
possible.
Set goals:
Let your child know, through example, that hard work will be rewarded. If
your child believes that achievement is a natural by-product of effort, he
is more likely to put in hard work. Such children are also less likely to
drop out of programs and college at a later stage.
Reward success:
When a child achieves something, it is necessary to praise his hard work.
Positive reinforcements enhance confidence and increase self-esteem.
Conversely, beware of criticism. It can ruin the frail ego of children and
play havoc with their minds.
Related posts
Should your child go for the football practice 5 days a week? Are 3 days
enough? It is common for parents to be a little confused when it comes to
deciding how much is too much with reference to after school activities.
They argue that since most of the activities are fun (as different from
studies), children will simply lap up these classes. But, too much of fun
can also make a child sick. Here is a simple guide that will help you
decide how much is too much for your child.
Kindergarten:
Your child is just beginning to learn to interact and get used to
discipline. His or her after-school life should be simple and carefree.
One or two classes per week are enough at the beginning. Once the child
settles down, look for more challenging activities like a music program.
Grade 1:
One or two activities per week, play dates and playground visits are
recommended. Avoid competitive sports activities. The child is still too
young to have to worry about winning and losing. After the rigors of a
full day at school, he or she needs a healthy outlet for pent up energy.
Physical activities and noncompetitive sports are best for this age.
Grade 2:
Your child is old enough to voice opinions on what activities he or she
wants. Sports, skating, swimming or computers – steer him towards things
he likes. Many children begin lessons on a musical instrument around this
age. But, allow your child some ‘alone time’ during which he can unwind
and just do whatever he wishes.
Grade 3:
Socialization begins to take center stage. Team sports are a good choice.
Developing motor skills, painting, drawing etc are good too. Let the child
explore areas of interests. But leave aside enough time for the family and
for fun activities.
Grade 4:
At this age, the child will tell you what he likes. He needs to get
involved in activities that will boost his confidence. This will also help
him manage stress as this is the time when social pressure is beginning to
build. But, beware of the homework demon. Your child needs more time with
his studies. Balancing his schoolwork with other activities is very
important.
Grade 5:
The fifth grader is bubbling with energy and will want to do just
about everything. But she or he may conveniently push studies to the
background. So, close supervision is needed. Keep one or two days free for
family time and other activities. Now is a great time to get your child
interested in community service.
Middle school:
Steer him away from TV. Get him engaged in activities that reinforce
learning. Academic performance can be improved by encouraging your preteen
to join clubs like the Girl/Boy Scouts program, language clubs, chess
clubs etc. As a thumb rule, 16-20 hours a week of extra activity should be
more than enough. But look out for signs of burnout.
What you select for your child and how long he should work at it is
basically decided by the child’s temperament. As a parent, you should
closely observe your child and base your decisions on feedback from the
child himself.
Related posts
Many teachers earn a nice little tax free income by giving private tuition. This is not officially a tax free income, but very few declare it on their income tax return.
Private tuition can be extremely beneficial to students. It can boost their confidence, fill in knowledge gaps and give practice in answering examination questions.
Finding individual help for your son or daughter is not cheap. You may be able to find a teacher who will work at your house for 5 an hour, but, you have to ask yourself why he is prepared to work for such little reward.
A good tutor will have a full diary and will be able to command a reasonable hourly fee. I charge 25 for one hour with a GCSE student and 30 for AS or A2 work. I also have a full diary and do not need to advertise, as I get my tutees from word of mouth recommendations.
How do you find a good tutor?
Ask friends. You may be given names to ring, or names to avoid.
Advertise in the newspaper or answer newspaper or postcard adverts from tutors.
Ring a local school that you know has at least one good teacher in the subects you are interested in.
How can you check a tutor out?
Ask him, or her, for references.
Find out which school or college the tutor works in. Ring and ask if there is a teacher there by that name.
Is it worth going through an agency?
Tuition agencies take a very large slice off the payment you make to the tutor, typically about a third. Good tutors do not need to work for agencies. The agency has usually checked out the tutors it uses, so at least you are not likely to be employing a paedophile.
What precautions can I take?
Leave the door open in the room where the tutor and student are working. Listen to see how much teaching is happening. Go in and out a few times. Never leave your daughter in the house alone with a male tutor. Some tutors ask you to stay in while they are working, to avoid the possibility of malicious or unfounded allegations being made.
Private tuition can make an enormous difference to an individuals chances of success at GCSE or A-level, but only if you start early in the final school year. Leaving things until the Easter before the exams will just be wasting your money. It takes time to build trust between a tutor and student and to establish full two way communication.
Tags: Advertise, Adverts, Confidence, Diary, Examination Questions, Find Friends, Gcse Student, Income Tax Return, Knowledge Gaps, Local School, Male Tutor, Names, Paedophile, Postcard, Private Tuition, Tuition Agencies, Tutors, Unfounded Allegations, Word Of MouthRelated posts
How to Help Your Kids Succeed In School All Year/AFA
Research shows that parental involvement in schools improves student achievement, reduces absenteeism and restores confidence among parents in their children’s education.
“Children need parents who have an interest in what’s going on in the classroom,” said Reg Weaver, president of the National Education Association. “Parents must do everything they can to get their children fully engaged at school, reinforce their learning at home and develop a strong relationship with their teachers.”
NEA, the nation’s largest educators organization, offers the following tips for parents on how they can ensure a successful educational experience for their children:
*Go to parent-teacher conferences. If the school doesn’t have them, set aside a time to meet with your children’s teachers. Ask how your children are doing and review their work. Let the teachers know how and when it is best to reach you. Finally, ask how you can support your children’s learning at home.
*Visit the classrooms. Getting a firsthand look at what is going on in your children’s classrooms will help you stay informed about what they are learning at school.
*Join the PTA or other parent group. Go to school events, such as back-to-school night. As a group, parents can help schools reach their goals.
*Pay attention to what your children are learning at school. Be aware of what they need to know to meet the standards set for their grade level.
*Contact the school if you have any concerns.
Parental involvement also means reading to your children, checking homework every night, limiting television viewing on school nights or simply asking your children about their school day.
“Whatever your level of involvement, do it consistently and regularly because it will make an important difference in your children’s lives,” Weaver said.
Tags: Absenteeism, Association Parents, Confidence, Contact, Education Children, Educational Experience, Group Parents, Homework, National Education Association, Parent Group, Parent Teacher Conferences, Parental Involvement In Schools, Pta, Relationship, S Education, School Doesn, Student Achievement, Television Viewing, Weaver, Whatever Your LevelRelated posts
Should your child go for the football practice 5 days a week? Are 3 daysenough? It is common for parents to be a little confused when it comes to deciding how much is too much with reference to after school activities. They argue that since most of the activities are fun (as different from studies), children will simply lap up these classes. But, too much of fun can also make a child sick. Here is a simple guide that will help you decide how much is too much for your child.
Kindergarten:
Your child is just beginning to learn to interact and get used to discipline. His or her after-school life should be simple and carefree. One or two classes per week are enough at the beginning. Once the child settles down, look for more challenging activities like a music program.
Grade 1:
One or two activities per week, play dates and playground visits are recommended. Avoid competitive sports activities. The child is still too young to have to worry about winning and losing. After the rigors of a full day at school, he or she needs a healthy outlet for pent up energy. Physical activities and noncompetitive sports are best for this age.
Grade 2:
Your child is old enough to voice opinions on what activities he or she wants. Sports, skating, swimming or computers – steer him towards things he likes. Many children begin lessons on a musical instrument around this
age. But, allow your child some ‘alone time’ during which he can unwind and just do whatever he wishes.
Grade 3:
Socialization begins to take center stage. Team sports are a good choice. Developing motor skills, painting, drawing etc are good too. Let the child explore areas of interests. But leave aside enough time for the family and for fun activities.
Grade 4:
At this age, the child will tell you what he likes. He needs to get involved in activities that will boost his confidence. This will also help him manage stress as this is the time when social pressure is beginning to build. But, beware of the homework demon. Your child needs more time with
his studies. Balancing his schoolwork with other activities is very important.
Grade 5:
The fifth grader is bubbling with energy and will want to do just about everything. But she or he may conveniently push studies to the background. So, close supervision is needed. Keep one or two days free for family time and other activities. Now is a great time to get your child
interested in community service.
Middle school:
Steer him away from TV. Get him engaged in activities that reinforce learning. Academic performance can be improved by encouraging your preteen to join clubs like the Girl/Boy Scouts program, language clubs, chess
clubs etc. As a thumb rule, 16-20 hours a week of extra activity should be more than enough. But look out for signs of burnout.
What you select for your child and how long he should work at it is basically decided by the child’s temperament. As a parent, you should closely observe your child and base your decisions on feedback from the child himself.
Tags: Center Stage, Competitive Sports, Confidence, Demon, Football Practice, Fun Activities, Grade 1, Homework, Kindergarten, Music Program, Musical Instrument, Parents, Playground, Reference, Rigors, Social Pressure, Socialization, Sports Activities, Stress, Team SportsRelated posts
As parents we know that building our child’s sense of self esteem is important. Child development specialists tell us so. However knowing it is important is not the same as knowing how to give your child a strong sense of self worth. There is no simple strategy but there are several effective techniques parents can use to help boost self esteem in their child.
Let Them Know Their Value
The most important strategy is to show and tell your child how much you value him and appreciate him. Spend time with him, talk to him and really listen to what he has to say, and appreciate the things that interest him.
Empower Them To Make Decisions
You should also teach your child about decision-making and recognizing when she has made a good decision. Children make decisions all the time but often are not aware that they are doing so. There are a number of ways parents can help children improve their ability to consciously make wise decisions. Start first by giving children the ability to make decisions, for example about what to wear for the day, and then letting them live with the consequences, such as being too hot in a long sleeve shirt on the beach. Then gradually expand the scope of their decisions and discuss the problems and solutions involved to help the child evaluate the decisions they make.
Make Them Responsible For Their Emotions
Let children know they create and are responsible for any feeling they experience. Likewise, they are not responsible for others’ feelings. Avoid blaming children for how you feel. Model appropriate ways to respond to their emotions.
Help Them Find Their Niche
Encourage your child to develop hobbies and interests which give him pleasure and which he can pursue independently. These can help him develop various skills which may help build confidence as well as provide comfort and distraction during difficult times. Also, these may well provide common ground to further social interaction with others.
Let Them Work It Out With Peers
Children must learn to work out disputes with siblings, friends, and classmates without adult intervention. As they grow older they won’t always be under direct adult supervision, but also learning to work through social challenges can help build confidence and self esteem. Another important social tool is the ability to cope with teasing. Help your child develop “tease tolerance” by pointing out that some teasing can’t hurt and exploring the reasons why some kids tease.
Show Them Their Strengths
When your child succeeds at something, reinforce that success by pointing out how far he has come by not giving up. When your child fails, point out the other successes he has enjoyed, especially those that were accomplished after a failure.
Teach Them To Laugh
Laugh with your children and encourage them to laugh at themselves. People who take themselves very seriously are undoubtedly decreasing their enjoyment in life. A good sense of humor and the ability to make light of life are important ingredients for increasing one’s overall enjoyment. Laughter is a great stress reliever and a good way to make friends. Laughing at your mistakes and at life’s challenges help teach children to put trouble in perspective and cope with challenges.
Using these seven strategies can help build your child’s self esteem and help them lead a happier and more successful life.
Tags: Child Development Specialists, Common Ground, Confidence, Consequences, Difficult Times, Distraction, Emotions, Feelings, Hobbies And Interests, Interaction With Others, Long Sleeve Shirt, Niche, Parents, Pleasure, Scope, Self Esteem, Self Worth, Social Interaction, Wise DecisionsRelated posts
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made. Do you think this is true? How many times did you read a biography of a great leader, and discovered that as a child, he has been quiet, reserved and rather shy? Are those natural qualities of a leader? Of course not! These people have developed their leadership qualities later in life.
Would you like your child to be a leader?
What are the qualities of a leader? Here are some of the qualities required to be a leader, and how you can encourage the development of these qualities in your child.
Integrity – remember to be a good example, a role model for your child. Parents teach by example, and integrity is a quality kids learn from their parents. Talk with your child about integrity. One tool that is very helpful is story telling. Look for books that tell about the value of integrity.
Courage – always praise courage. When your child shows courage, notice it and praise it. Praise courage wherever you see an expression of it. Story telling is also very effective in this case.
Creative, independent thinking. In order to develop this quality, it is very helpful to ask questions. When you talk with your child about any subject at all, always ask open questions, that encourage creative thinking. Use the “One Step Farther” principle. After you have gotten all the obvious answers, ask one more question, to come up with a deeper, more creative idea. Questions like “why”, “what would happen if…”, “how do you think did it feel…”, encourage your child to think creatively. Talk to your child, encourage independent thinking.
In addition, it is also important to listen to your child. When your child has a creative, unusual suggestion, never negate it or laugh at it. Always treat your child’s ideas with respect.
Confidence – this is one of the most important qualities required for success in general. To develop confidence in your child, avoid criticizing your child, praise your child sincerely and often, develop a habit to talk about your child’s strengths and achievements with him every day. Remember to make it a point to bring up at least one good quality of your child every day. If you adopt it as a routine, over time it will do wonders for your child. It takes only a few minutes to mention an achievement or a strength (a good quality). Encourage your child, repeat the phrase “you can do it” often.
A leader takes responsibility. When something goes wrong, sometimes it makes us feel better if we can blame something else or someone else. A leader takes responsibility. Make sure your child knows that he is the “boss” in his life. His success is his responsibility. We are not victims of our environment, we have control over our life. Teach your child to “come from a place of power”. When your child blames someone else or something else for a mishap, or comes up with excuses, you have an opportunity to encourage your child to assume responsibility. Make sure that your child knows that it is Ok to make mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. You can help your child draw conclusions, without “making him wrong”, by asking: “what did you learn from this?”, “what do you think went wrong?”, “why do you think this happened?”, “how could you avoid this?” and again “what do you think would happen if…?”. Your child should understand that he has no control over other people, and is not expected to have control over other people’s actions, but he has full control over his own reaction. This will give your child the feeling of power, as opposed to “being a victim”.
The conversations that you hold with your child have a profound effect on your child’s future. Make sure you take the time to talk with your child every day, to be involved with what is happening in your child’s life. To support, encourage and inspire. By doing that, you are being a leader, and you are developing your child’s leadership skills.
Tags: Confidence, Courage, Creative Idea, Creative Thinking, Expression, Independent, Integrity, Leadership Qualities, Natural Qualities, Parents, Principle, Qualities Of A Leader, Quality Kids, Role Model, Success, SuggestionRelated posts
Allow me to paint you a picture. You and your teen talk about issues and rules as they come up. While you have disagreements that you resolve, you never have fights where one person wins and the other loses.
Sound impossible? I raised two kids that way and now I am going to share seven steps to lead you down the same path.
* If you want your child to talk with you, then give him a reason to trust you. Keep his confidence. Ask him if what he tells you is something between the two of you or if it is okay to share it with anyone, including family members. Honor his wishes.
* When you listen, be there 100%. Erase any other thoughts or postpone them until later. Let your mind be free to focus on what your teenager is communicating — spoken and unspoken.
You can be there, fully at 100%, when you are not listening to that Little Voice in your head tell you about your child or what he is saying. Instead you will actually be listening to the words of your child, his emotions and his complete message! Big difference. Huge impact for both you and for your teen.
You must be free from agendas to be there 100%. You have no idea what your teen is about to tell you nor do you have any idea what he wants in coming to you, so ask.
* Ask how your child wants to be listened to. Does he want an opinion, suggestions, advice, or does he just want to blow off steam? No guessing allowed! When you guess wrong, you frustrate him by going in a direction he does not want to go. He may see his effort to talk with you as a waste of time and decide not to make that mistake again.
* For accurate communication, ask questions — not intrusive, prying ones, but check-ins to be certain you are hearing the message as your child intended you to hear and interpret it.
Be sure you are hearing what your teen means to say rather than what you want your teen to say or what you think your teen should say. Respond to a thought saying something like, “Is it accurate that you do not like it when X happens?”
If that is correct, he will say yes and if not, then he will state his thought differently. Check again — you want to understand him.
When your child sees that you are truly available and paying attention he just may feel understood — at least in that moment. The more moments he feels that way, the more frequently he will talk to you.
* Listen without judgment.
* Listen without expectation. When you have no attachment to what will be said or the outcome of what you hear, then you are free to pay attention to every word and every non-verbal clue.
Take all that information, check for your accurate understanding, then follow through with the request your child made for how he wants you to listen to him.
Your young adult may share things that surprise or scare you. He may do that to see your reaction — or he may do that because he trusts you enough to be frank and honest. Your challenge is to listen honestly.
If you are surprised, it is okay and, in fact wise, to say so. Note that it is honest to share your feelings about what he said. However, telling him he is wrong or he should have done such and such differently is judging.
You might follow the judgment with a conviction and a sentence. Such actions could cause you to lose the trust that led to his coming to you in the first place. Then you are back to having a teenager who doesn’t talk and likes to fight.
Consider that there is more than one way to do things and there is more than one solution to any problem. When your child tells you about something you cannot understand, ask about his thinking that led to that action. Ask as many questions as you need to so you can see his perspective.
Seeing his perspective is not the same as approving or agreeing with it. On the other hand, you may gain a fresh view on whatever the issue is.
*If your child has done something that breaks a law or a rule in your family, address that issue. Brainstorm for solutions together. Empower your teen to be responsible for every action he takes — or fails to take — in his life.
Pretending not to notice undesirable behaviors will not make them disappear. Follow the same brainstorming techniques to deal with such instances. You will be surprised how simple it is to create win-win outcomes. I did not say easy. I said simple. Success happens after doing it, doing it, doing it, until it becomes natural. Yes, that task may take effort and seem like work.
Actions and results, desirable and undesirable, reflect self esteem. To change behaviors, treat the cause not just the symptoms.
What are the hidden thoughts of your teen costing him — and you?
Tags: Accurate Communication, Agendas, Communicating With Teens, Confidence, Disagreements, Emotions, Family Members, Including Family, Ins, Little Voice, Loses, Mistake, Seven Steps, Steam, Teen Talk, Teenager, Waste Of Time