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Tips for Moving with Young Children

admin — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 01:09:11 +0000

Moving can upset children of any age. It frequently causes them to feel apprehensive and insecure. But, dont despair; there are many things you can do to make the moving experience less scary for your children.

Involve Them from the Very Beginning.

Tell your children as soon as you know youre moving; dont spring it on them at the last minute. Explain why youre moving in terms they can understand. Do you need more room? Are you relocating because of a new job? Be sure to explain what will happen so theyll know what to expect. This will remove a lot of the fear and confusion they may be feeling. Tell them when the move will take place and how their things will get from the old house to the new house. Be sure and answer their questions as fully as you can. Remember that your attitude about the move will rub off on them, so stay upbeat and positive. To help prepare them further, you canchoose from among many childrens books available on moving. Just a couple of these are Berenstain Bears Moving Day by Sam Berenstain and Goodbye House by Frank Asch. Check your local library for more.

Make the Move an Adventure.

If you approach the coming move as an exciting adventure for the entire family, it will help to calm your childrens fears. The more positive you are about the move, the more positive they will be. Make sure they understand they wont be left behind. Ask for their suggestions and involve them in the plans. If its possible, show them the new house and let them spend some time exploring it. Show them where their rooms will be. Help them visualize where their furniture and toys will go. Show them the yard and help them imagine all the fun they will have there. If its impossible for them to visit the new house, take tons of photos so theyll know what it looks like and can become familiar with it. Talk about all the fun things the family will do there.

Let Them Help.

If you give your children an active role in the move they are much more likely to accept it and even grow excited about it. Let them pack some of their own belongings, even if you have to go back and repack them later. This will help them feel a part of the move. If there are old toys you dont plan to take, let the kids help decide which of them should be given away for other children to use and which should be discarded.

What to Do on Moving Day.

The best plan is to have the children stay with a family member or trusted friend on the day of the move. If this isnt possible, be sure and involve them in the moving activities. If you have a moving company, introduce your children to the workers so theyll know whos taking their stuff away. You can give them a box of their own to pack. This could be the box of special belongings youre taking in the car with you. It should include all the things your children cant live without ~ favorite stuffed animals, that special blanket, maybe their favorite pajamas. This will accomplish three things. It will keep the children occupied and feeling useful and it will also ensure that you know exactly where these special items are. You would never want to arrive at your new home not knowing where to locate Susies scruffy old bear or Johnnys favorite action figure! It will also help the children feel secure since they have their most important belongings with them.

Youre on Your Way to Your New Home.

If youre driving to your new home, make the trip exciting! If the kids can relate the move to family fun, theyll enjoy it so much more. If its a long drive, be sure and have lots of games or books to keep the children occupied. Maybe each person could tell their own story about what they think living in the new house will be like. Youll arrive happy and anxious to start this new phase of your lives.

The Keys to Effective Discipline

admin — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 21:11:47 +0000

The Keys to Effective Discipline
Disciplining a child is one of the most important, yet difficult, roles of being a parent. Effective discipline teaches a child to be self-disciplined later in life. It helps your child grow up to be happy and well-adjusted. Effective and positive discipline teaches and guides children, and helps them to feel safe, secure, and valued.
Discipline should be based on a child’s age, development and temperament. A parent’s goals by disciplining their child is to protect them from danger, to help them learn self-control and self-discipline and to develop a sense of responsibility.
Children should be respectful of their parent’s authority. If they’re disciplined harshly or unfairly, especially if it includes shouting or humiliating, will make it difficult if not impossible for a child to respect and trust their parent.
Parents must be consistent in their discipline. Discipline that’s not consistent is confusing to children, no matter how old they are. If parents are inconsistent in the way they discipline their children, children may find it hard to respect them. It can also indirectly encourage misbehaving and result in confusion and frustration for the child.
Discipline must also be fair. Parents must make sure that the punishment fits the crime and doesn’t punish too severely or is too lax. The consequences of their actions should be related to their behavior.
In order to discourage bad behavior, give your child choices about what to do. He will appreciate the chance to make decisions. Make sure rules that protect the safety, health and well-being of your child are given top priority. If your child is irritable, tired or upset, be understanding and try to help calm them. It’s important to keep in mind that bad behavior can sometimes be circumstantial.
Encourage positive behavior in your child by spending quality time alone with your child each day. Give your child hugs, cuddles or a gentle pat on the back, and give praise when praise is due. If your child is angry or sad, try to understand why. Teach your child good behavior by setting a good example and behaving properly and appropriately yourself.

Teens And Sex — 5 Must Ask Questions

admin — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 19:03:39 +0000

What I am about to tell you may save the life of your child. In today’s world the safety and well-being of your teenager depends on his awareness and knowledge of sex.
It is critical that you, as a responsible and loving parent address that issue in detail. Here are some key questions to broach the subject, to let your child know you care and want the best for him.

Recognize he may be reluctant to speak about something so personal with you if you are not accustomed to sharing feelings and intimate topics. You may feel embarrassed bringing up the subject.
Before you do, be sure you can answer these questions for yourself. Also, decide what you are comfortable sharing about your personal experiences and beliefs on the subject of teen sexuality and activity.

* To start, simply ask your teenager, “What kind of questions do you have or what do you want to know more about regarding sex?” You will certainly grab his attention.

* You may want to throw out some information he is unlikely to know, something like, “Do you know that the sex partners you choose can influence your vulnerability to certain types of cancer?”

The object here is to get your child talking-or at least willing to talk. He may tell you he knows everything he needs to know. Where do you go from there?

* Ask, “Do you know that sex is not the same thing as love?” Watch his face for acknowledgement, disagreement, or confusion. Follow up with, “Sex is physical while love is emotional”.

Listen to him. Pay attention to what he says and to the words he does not speak. Notice his body language, hear the underlying message, the words between the lines, his tone, word choice and pace. Note his emotions, eye contact, and whether he is at ease or trying to conceal any discomfort.

If you do observe that he is uncomfortable, tell him you noticed and ask if he wants to talk about what is bothering him. Assure him that you are not here to judge him.

Most important, let him know you are having this talk because you love him and no matter what he has done or is thinking about doing, he is safe talking with you. Tell him nothing can change your love for him.

And then go where he takes you. If he chooses to be silent, let him be silent. It is okay to have silence. You do not need to speak. He may be processing.

Give him the time and space he needs to do what he needs to do. He knows you are available when he wants to talk.

Facts are key. If he has unanswered questions, where can he go for accurate information? The streets, his friends, and the media may not be the best place to find what he seeks on the subject of sex.

* Be sure you ask your child, “Do you know that protection is not a 100% guarantee of health, safety or an absolute deterrent to pregnancy?” Be sure he knows the consequences of the actions he may or may not take.

* Follow-up with, “Do you want help or advice in obtaining protection?” That question is especially important for girls who may want to see a gynecologist and may not know how to find a good one who can take care of her needs.

If your teen uses the Internet, know that more than 61,000 searches were done in the month of April on phrases dealing with teen pornography. What pages is your child visiting? Ask. Know that if you impose your will he will go elsewhere to pursue his desires. Build trust with your teenager.

The purpose in having this talk is education. I do not, in any way, shape, or form, advocate teen sex. However, statistics show that youngsters as young as 13 engage in sexual activity. Have the talk now.

When hormones and peer pressure kick in, a wise and educated youngster, who has previously given thought to and made decisions about his actions, has a better chance of living the life he wants than one who has not prepared himself for the inevitable emotions and situations that will come up in life.

Actions and results, desirable and undesirable, reflect self esteem. To change behaviors, treat the cause not just the symptoms.

What is the cost, to you and to him, of not knowing where your teenager stands on sex?

Standardized Testing Teaching Tips

admin — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 00:17:55 +0000

Standardized tests can be very stressful for children. Here, therefore, are some tips for parents and children that may help.

Before the Test…for Parents and Children

1. Have children study every night during the year so they will understand the material as their teacher is presenting it. Clear up any confusion as they go. This will make them confident in their knowledge and lead to a review for the test rather than to learning new information.

2. The night before the test, do something that is fun to help keep them calm. All their heavy studying should be complete by then!

3. Of course, they should get a good night’s sleep, eat a healthy breakfast, and leave for school with a positive attitude and confidence in themselves. Parents, that’s where you can help immensely! Wish your children luck, give them a high five, let them know you believe in them…whatever it takes to lessen the pressure.

4. Pupils should ask their teacher if guessing will hurt their score. Sometimes, students are penalized for guessing.

5. Both children and parents, remember… no one is expected to make 100%! All that children can do is their best. Encourage them to do so.

During the Test…for Children

1. Read to understand each question carefully. Then read ALL the choices you are given.

2. Monitor your time. If you get stuck on a question, do not spend too much time on it. Concentrate on answering the questions you know for sure and then go back to the others if there is more time. REMEMBER: If you do this, put your answer in the right space on the bubble sheet! You should already know if guessing will hurt you.

3. If you get nervous, shut your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

I hope these suggestions are useful. GOOD LUCK!!

Clear Expectations Make Discipline Easier

admin — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:54:21 +0000

Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child. Setting clear expectations regarding what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong. If the parameters are muddled or the child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it makes for confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and line out the expectations and consequences of misbehaving or a misdeed. Make it clear that in no uncertain terms is there any room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that should such a behavior occur you intend to be firm in your discipline. Rules regarding your child’s safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon. If necessary, make a contract between parent and child. Lay it all out in black and white, in language your child can clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a good behavior chart within the contract, and for each week that goes by without any infractions being noted, a favorite or special activity might be earned. The connection between good deeds and special time with mom and/or dad might be just the currency they understand.

But all children need to understand that disciplining them is your way of teaching them what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise decisions.

Baby Clothes: Long and Lean

admin — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:13:16 +0000

Confused by the phrase Long and Lean following Baby Clothes? Well, this article works both ways to reduce the confusion of those online baby cloth hunters. And surprisingly, most of the optimized searches will disappoint you if you are either searching clothes meant for your long and lean babies, or clothes to make your baby look long and lean! Confusing, right?

For those who have been thinking that buying a babys cloth is just a childs play, note that baby clothes have their whole of rules. And as they begin their growth, you will realize that your baby should be understood in terms of their growth and gender in order to meet their needs. Let us take a peek into what makes these criteria a must for those parents shopping for baby clothes.

The Long and the Lean

It is believed that the condition of birth determines what a child will look like when it grows up. But there is no way to predict exactly the rate of their growth. However, recent studies have claimed that heavy babies tend to grow up fat and long babies tend to grow up tall. But this may be contestable.

Sizing a babys clothing: the Long and the Lean

Parents might be often asking: What do I need to buy for my lean or fat baby? Though a babys clothes comes in sizes shown by months, as in 0-3 months, this question calls in for a different set of solution. How do you know that this is a standard? There are four fundamental flaws in this standard:

1.The sizes of babies vary enormously. And the manufacturers might claim that a particular size is the standard of your babys age group.
2.The growth of babies varies, ranging from slow to rapid. And some babies might be double the size of their same age group.
3.The shape also varies. Some children might outgrow their clothes; clothes made for round babies might stop snapping at the crotch well before they hit their supposed limit.
4.Different manufacturers have their own specific standards. This considerably confuses parents while buying clothes for their babies.

So what do we do? Does one need to buy by weight, or size, or age group? A babys age stage is the most confusing stage indeed! And, parents will be likely to keep buying clothes to keep up with the alterations in the babys growth size, weight, length, and shape.

The best advice is not to buy very expensive clothes for this stage. You will not be able to keep up with the speed a baby soils the clothes. However, ensure that the clothes are friendly with your child.

And remember that we cannot help the fluctuations in a babys growth; while searching clothes for your long and lean baby, or clothes to make your baby look long and lean, just be patient. We all have been through it as babies!

About Fatherhood

admin — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:02:10 +0000

For most of us, our first father is God. A large majority of the world considers God as their father; or rather call God as their father. God is father to all in such believing families. What about biological fathers? How does one become a good father? What are the yardsticks by which we measure the goodness of a father?

This is a subject for discussion and application of thought. Who is the final judge about the goodness of the father? The mother? The children? The society? What qualities should a man possess to be called a good father? These questions generate a bigger debate.

Can a mother judge her husband about his goodness as a father? That judgment can depend on so many probabilities. What are her yardsticks? How was her father? What are her beliefs? Do these beliefs match those of her husband? How much does she love her husband and her children? If it comes to taking sides, whose side will she take? Will it be a well thought-out decision or one colored by many other factors?

Can the father judge his own goodness? What may be correct according to him, may be wrong according to her children? The man carries his psychological baggage and many times may be prejudging and expecting responses. Generation gap plays a bigger role. As the world progresses, priorities, tastes, values, everything undergoes change. Therefore a man himself cannot pronounce himself as a good father. Children will contest that, if he does not accept their beliefs. Which child will call his father a good father, if the father has set ideas about partying, relationships, studies, etc.

Can the children judge their father? That is difficult to believe. The children surely wish for a father who not only agrees with their ideas, but supports them in all possible ways in enjoying life. What if a child is such that he believes that enjoying life is more important than studying for examinations?

If we think more about this subject, it will result into more confusion. What is to be thought about fatherhood and how does one become a good father? The best way out might be to accept the generation gap, listen to children before giving orders, have a fair debate on all important issues, and tell children exactly about values that will decide the final action. After doing all this, one should simply do one’s duty and leave the rest to prayers. And before attempting to become a good father, one should first become a good man. A drug addict can never become a good father, nor a habitual liar.

“Because” Just Isn’t the Answer

admin — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:51:49 +0000

Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it’s usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, it’s because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, it’s imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist’s office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can’t be late.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s house for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of understanding their world around them.

Find info on your childrens health » Confusion

Tips for Moving with Young Children

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