Here are some things you, as parents, can do for your teens with ADHD.

Get them tested for the condition. If your child struggles with remaining focused, seems to be smart but fails tests, or struggles with some of the simplest of things but excels in those that are more difficult, he may have this condition. Talk to their doctor about how to get the test and find out.

Medication. Medication is available to help children with ADHD. Before you questions if your child needs it, determine what the benefits of taking it would be. For some children, it can give them self control, self worth and help them to finally feel good about what they are doing. For others, it does not provide a noticeable benefit.

Give them time. Many ADHD teens will do well if they are given enough time to finish tasks and problems. For that reason, it is essential to clue your child’s school in on your child’s problem. They can provide extra help and encouragement for them.

Take the time to understand what it is like to be a teen with ADHD. Unless you have this condition yourself, you need to realize that it is hard. It is not their fault they can not pay attention. It is not their fault that they do not understand what they teacher is saying. And, it is not their fault that these things frustrate them so much so that they explode. Take the time to really understand them.

ADHD teens need extra learning help and they need emotional support. The teen years are already hard to deal with. Teens with ADHD have it just that much harder as it is.

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If you think about it, though, long hair may not require that much extra effort when compared to short hair. Youll spend less time getting it cut at the salon, which can be nice when you have to fit that in around your childrens schedules. Brushing your hair only takes a little longer for well-maintaned long hair than it does for shorter hair.

Pulling the hair back in a ponytail is easy and practical for any hair that is long enough for that style. Ive always been fond of braiding my hair when I need a lot of control.

Children love long hair. My daughter is always asking me to brush her hair long, like Rapunzels. My kids would be shocked if I cut my hair.

But what about those hectic days when you have a hard time even getting into the shower? Isnt long hair inconvenient then?

It doesnt have to be. Twist your hair up into a knot if you dont absolutely have to brush it and you wont have to wait for it to dry. My hair needs washing only about every other day before I start to notice an oily feeling occasionally daily in summer due to the heat, and sometimes I suspect I could get away with washing it less in winter if I were in THAT much of a hurry. Its just so nice to get out of the shower some days, feeling clean, but not needing to worry about drying my hair.

Moms do not have to have short hair. Its common practice these days, but its nice to stand out in a way you wont regret later. I often get envious comments from other moms, and meeting other long haired moms is fun. No, we dont talk about having long hair all the time occasionally share care or styling tips, but I think most women do that anyhow. Its just a little something we automatically know we have in common.

Keeping your hair long is also a great way to feel feminine. My husband and I knew each other for years before we married, but had lost contact for a time, during which I grew my hair out. His first comment on seeing me after 5 years apart, aside from general hellos was I love your hair. I dont say thats the only reason we got back together, not by a long shot, but it sure didnt hurt. Hed be quite disappointed if I cut my hair. Few men can resist long hair. When youre a parent and sometimes there arent many ways to show your feelings, little things like teasing him with long hair works quite nicely.

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If your child is approaching the age of two, your life is about to change dramatically. I know, your life already has changed dramatically, but youre about to enter a whole new level of, well, frustration and despair. Luckily, the difficulties only last for about two years..sigh. Well, to help you out, let me give you some tips about living with your two year old.

First you need to understand that toddlers have no impulse control. This is a critical piece of information, and you will need to chant it to yourself several times a day. Even when a toddler knows what shes doing is wrong, and knows shes going to get into trouble for it, she cant help it. She just has to do it. So, dont think your child is incapable of being trained when she gets into the toilet paper for the tenth time today. The best advice is just put the stuff away. And, dont punish her too harshly. At this age, making punishment harsher for subsequent offenses isnt helpful. The same time out routine each time will have more effect, though you must understand me when I say this nothing except growing older will have much effect on a two year old.

Secondly, if you live with a two year old, dont try to do anything in a hurry. Gone, at least for a while, are the days when you can run to the grocery store. At this age everything takes a long time, and you should just get used to it. Trying to hurry them along only creates frustration for both of you. Let them try to get in and out of the car themselves. Let them pick exactly which grocery cart youll use. Its good for their development and it helps keep peace.

Thirdly, pick your battles. Dont allow anything thats unsafe, but dont try to control how and when everything gets done. If she wants to wear the purple plaid pants with the yellow striped top, some days you just need to let her do it. One way to minimize the battles is to give your child some choices up front, but not too many. For instance, pick out two appropriate outfits for the day, and then let her choose between them.

Finally, enjoy this age. As difficult as two year olds can be (oh, and three year olds can be just as bad), they are also simply magical to watch. They learn something new every day. Theyre excited and amazed by the simplest things, like blowing bubbles and getting a sticker. Theyre a wonderful combination of baby and child, and theyll never be this age again. Thank God.

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As good parents, we want to protect them from the world, but the world will show up and then we need to transfer control, in other words, to let them learn to deal with the world, and even more, to let them learn from their own mistakes. Of course, this will make parental stress worse for a while, but in the long run it will be better for them to learn this way. However, this does not mean that we should not keep an eye on our children, but also we must allow them to be imperfect and they will learn to find their own way.

Helpful Resources for Reducing Parental Stress

We must keep our stress under control, even if our children may become rebellious for a while (especially during the teenage years) and they will probably try to act in a way that may shock us.

Keep in mind the following things and you may be able to keep your parental stress to a minimum:

- Teenagers are not perfect, neither are adults

- Teenagers are always eager to go their own way

- Try to figure out what is going on in their heads

- Do not forget that we were their age once…

When the parental stress gets to be too much, we have a lot of helpful resources, such as: support groups, books, and websites that want to help us through our child-raising stress.

By managing our own parental stress, we allow our children to grow up and keep our emotions under control. So, rather than allowing parental stress to take over our life, we better keep an eye on our children, making sure that they are doing well and enjoying their life together within the family.

Conventional and Unconventional Stress-Relievers

You may here about all kind of popular stress management techniques, but I will show you here some original and creative stress relievers that keep myself and my family feel more relaxed and enjoy our life.

Playing With Kids: Have fun, play and interact with your kids! If you have small children, do not just supervise them, better really play with them! This can be a great diversion from your stress, and the children will love it, too. Walk and talk with your older children, shop and talk with your teens and the parental stress is gone!

Maintain a Clean and Organized Living Space: Cleaning your house and getting organized at home it is very important task. A beautifully decorated, comforting environment in your home can be a safe haven where you can escape from daily stress.

Gardening: Digging, planting, fertilizing and tending a garden of vegetables or flowers, can be a wonderfully relaxing time, with the reward of delicious organic food, or a gorgeous yard as well! The physical activity of planting can be a great stress release, while sunshine is a great source of vitamin D.

Singing, Loudly: We have seven musicians in our home, so we can tell you for sure that loud vocalization releases tension from your body. A great way to start the day is by singing in the shower and in the car.

Put on Some Music: Listening to good music as you get ready and start your day will create positive energy and a soothing sense of peace. Music can compliment other healthy habits, as your morning walk, or your journaling.

Stretch in the Shower: The hot water will loosen up your muscles, but the act of stretching will help you to release stored tension and enable you to start the day feeling more relaxed and ready to handle your everyday jobs and problems.

Eat a Balanced Breakfast: You may start the day by drinking coffee, but do not skip the breakfast, known as the most important meal of the day! A healthy meal in the morning, plenty of protein and fruit, can balance your blood sugar levels and give you the sustenance you need to handle your daily stress.

Drink Green Tea: You may drink coffee, but green tea is loaded with antioxidants, so it is a delicious and healthy alternative. We drink daily a warm cup of tea and this fact helps us to feel nurtured and to prepare for the day ahead.

Organize Your Time: Keep a schedule, learn to say no to urgent and excessive demands on your time, and you will have more time to do the important things in your life. You will have more time to do things that you enjoy in life, and raising children is one of the most important things. Believe me, what I write here it is not just theory! I have nine children and I know what I am talking about.

Write in Your Journal: Journaling or blogging (if you use a computer) has many health and stress management benefits, and can help you keep focused on important issues of your life, process negative emotions, and solve your stress problems.

Morning Walk: A morning walk with or without your kids can get you ready for the day, lower your stress level, help you sleep better at night, and reduce your risk of many health conditions. And if you bring a dog with you, as my wife and I do, you will totally enjoy your walk!

Cultivate a Supportive Social Group: Having school age children you can find a helpful social group within the school, with people to talk to in times of crisis. Make the commitment to meet more people, develop better relationships for yourself and for your kids, and you will find that the reward worth the effort.

Take Care of Your Body: Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers (3John1:2). An unhealthy body can cause big stress, so getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet and getting massages are all good ways to take care of your body and to decrease stress.

Renew Your Spirit: If you left the church behind other urgent and important activities try to go back to church. If you never went there, you should try. Nothing to lose, life to gain! Do not be ignorant! I find real life, entirely free of stress, every Sunday in my church and in every Christian church I visit!

Conclusion: As you develop these stress-relieving practices in your daily life, you should experience less parental stress, being able to handle it. This will lead you to a happier and healthier family lifestyle.

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As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger. If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself. If you don’t, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren’t fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that’s what they’ll most likely grow into as well.

It’s important to ‘pick your battles’ when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don’t warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry. But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn’t worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you’re the one in control of your anger; don’t let your anger control you. Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong.

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As humans, we are all born with five basic needs that we are genetically programmed to attempt to meet. They are survival, love & belonging, power, freedom and fun. Without getting into the detail of the developmental model described in Nancy Bucks book, Peaceful Parenting, power and freedom combine to make the competitive need cycle.

When people are in a competitive, need cycle they are most strongly driven by the need to gain more power and freedom in their lives. With a parent and child, this is typically represented by the parent refusing to consider to allow their child to do something. The parent is attempting to meet the power need by keeping his or her child safe and the freedom need by extricating him or herself from the worry of wondering about his or her child while the child would be engaged in the forbidden activity.

The child, on the other hand, is attempting to meet the power need by having new experiences and exploring the world and to meet the freedom need by gaining time away from restrictive parental supervision. When a parent and child are both in their competitive need cycle, naturally a power struggle ensues.

I have four examples of situations and possible solutions if you, the parent, are willing to consider focusing on your cooperative needs of love & belonging and fun instead. Why do you, the parent, have to be the one to it differently? Because it is you who are dissatisfied with the situation. Whose behavior can you control? Hopefully, you understand that you cannot control your childs behavior as much as I know youd like to at times. The only persons behavior you can control is your own.

Since it is you and not your child who is reading this article, Im talking to you about what you can do to improve the situation.

Staying focused on changing your child will only lead to your frustration and a break down of your relationship. You wont be successful at long-term change in your child. He or she may acquiesce while in your presence but there wont be the required internal motivation to change required for any long-term transformation. So, lets look at what you do have control of—the way you respond to your childs push to meet his or her power and freedom needs.

Rebecca:

The first situation I want to talk about involves ten year-old Rebecca. Rebeccas parents came to me frustrated over the fact they were unsuccessful enforcing Rebeccas bedtime and she would frequently be grumpy because of lack of adequate sleep. They also were hoping for some down time to spend some quality time with each other without children around.

After, evaluating what was really important, the parents spoke to Rebecca about no longer enforcing her bedtime. They explained that she could go to bed whenever she pleased as long as she was able to get up in the morning, get to school and be relatively pleasant with family members. However, there would be a household quiet time that would begin at 9 PM. At that time, everyone needed to be in his or her own bedrooms engaged in quiet activity.

These parents couldnt wait to tell me how great it worked! Since Rebecca had no parents fighting with her to go to bed, she could no longer meet her power need fighting with them. Consequently, she began to go to bed when she got tired and stopped fighting sleep. Steve and Mary were able to get the quiet couple time they needed so everybody won.

Veronica:

The second situation involves my friend, Denise, and her daughter, Veronica. Veronica is 11 years-old and wanted to have her hair highlighted like all her friends do but Denise was opposed to the idea. While discussing the situation with me, Denise realized that she was concerned about the maintenance costs of highlights and the damage that will be done to her daughters beautiful hair if she starts applying chemicals to it at her early age. Of course, Denise had explained none of this to Veronica.

What she did say was, No, you are too young to have your hair highlighted. Just because everyone else is doing it doesnt mean you should. Does that sound familiar? What I suggested instead is that she tells Veronica her concerns.

Denise started by saying that she wanted to revisit their conversation about highlights. Denise agreed to Veronicas initial request to be given the highlights as a birthday gift. But then, she asked Veronica what her plan was for upkeep. Denise explained that she would have to have the highlighting process done every two months or so and that it would cost approximately $60 each time. Denise offered to give Veronica money for helping out doing extra chores around the house.

Since Veronica had agreed to this before and failed in the follow through, Denise asked another question. She said, Veronica, I know you have agreed to do extra chores in the past and you didnt consistently follow through. If history repeats itself and you dont have the money you need for the highlights, are you prepared for what your hair will look like once the roots grow out?

She also discussed with Veronica the concern for the health of her hair. She said that starting to put chemicals into ones hair at eleven did not bode well for maintaining healthy looking hair into adulthood.

Denise marveled at what happened next. She said that what had been a heated battle between them for months turned into a non-issue. Veronica decided she no longer wanted highlights in her hair. She realized that she probably wont do the chores to earn the extra money needed and that she doesnt want to look weird while her hair is growing out. Its amazing what happens when we align ourselves with our opponents resistance. Its a concept that has been taught in martial arts within the physical realm for centuries but it can easily be applied to the mental realm in parenting just as easily

Carrie:

The third scenario involved a mothers horror when she learned what her eight year-old daughter had done. This mother, Linda, sent her daughter, Carrie, to swim camp. Carrie had been a swimmer for quite some time but this was the first time she was actually exposed to older swimmers at camp.

She learned from them that a good way to shave time off her record is to shave the hair off her entire body. Now what hair could an eight year-old have? It didnt matter—Carrie was determined to shave everywhere except the hair on her head. Linda, in horror, forbids her to do it.

What was Linda concerned about? It was a multitude of things. First of all, her daughter was too young to start shaving. Secondly, she was concerned that if she began shaving, then her hair would grow back very dark and course. (Of course, this is an old wifes tale that many of my generation was exposed to.)

Linda was shocked to learn that despite her refusal to allow Carrie to shave, Carrie later went into the bathroom, took a dry razor to her skin, and shaved anyway. Unbelievably, at her next swim meet, she had the best time of her short life to that point. Did shaving help her or was it the power of her belief that the shaving helped? I cant answer that question. However, the point is that what actually happened was worse than the original fears Linda had about Carrie shaving.

Had Linda listened to the desires of her daughter and she was willing to consider the request, she may have spoken to a pediatrician and learned that her second fear was unfounded. Then she might have been able to assist Carrie to shave safely instead of with a dry razor and no supervision at all.

What parents often fail to realize is that just because they tell their child no does not mean that their child will dutifully obey. Often a no means that their child will proceed stealthily without parental permission anyway. When this occurs, the child is doing something the parent doesnt approve of and the parent has no idea and therefore, no opportunity to discuss the possible dangers and concerns.

My Children & Their Friends:

I used to see this a lot when my boys were older. They would have friends whose parents were quite strict and would not give permission for them to attend parties where it was known there would be alcohol and no parental supervision. On the surface, this makes perfect sense. What responsible parent wants their child at a party drinking without any adults to intervene if there is a problem?

However, in refusing their child permission to go, what I often saw was that same child telling their parent that he or she was going to stay overnight at a friends house. Then that friend would tell his or her parents that he or she was going to stay at the first friends house. In essence, what resulted was two children out all night, doing God knows what, without any adult having any information about what was happening.

My approach with my children when they would want to go to a party was to discuss the things I was afraid of. If they had an explanation for what they would do to handle the problems about which I was concerned, then I would generally allow them to go. If they couldnt address certain situations, then they would not be permitted to go until there was a reasonable plan in place to address my concerns.

The main things I was concerned about were not drinking and driving. What would they do if offered drugs? What would they do if someone showed dangerous signs of having too much? What would they do if violence broke out or things got out of hand? What would they do and what did they expect me to do if the party were raided by police? Over time, we discussed all of these situations so that I was satisfied that my children could handle them if they ever came up.

This resulted in me having peace of mind and generally, enough information about where my children were going to be and what they were going to be doing to satisfy me. It is not an easy way to parent and it sure doesnt guarantee that your children will always make the best decision.

What it does do, however, is it stops making you the person your children have to fight in their attempts to get their needs met. It keeps your relationship with your children strong and influential. It allows you, as the parent, to discuss situations and possibilities you normally wouldnt have the opportunity to discuss. In addition, it helps your children to become better decision makers, problem solvers and to anticipate circumstances before they arise.

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Dear Daughter,

In an earlier letter we touched on the concepts of control and responsibility. Lets go a little deeper with these important ideas.

If you ever find that someones behavior is driving you nuts, please slow down and consider the possibility of control issues on your part. Did you know that it is possible for you to try to control another person and not even be aware of what you are doing? Its very possible. In fact, this is a common dynamic in relationships that involve drug and alcohol abuse. However, this dynamic is often found in other relationships as well. It is something you need to know and understand in order to avoid bad relationships and increase your ability to develop good relationships.

Does it upset you when you hear someone gossip. Does it upset you when someone acts as if they are better than everyone else, or if someone is rude? These things can be aggravating, but if you stay irritated longer than most other people, stop and consider the possibility of control issues.

When you are upset by another persons behavior, its usually because they are not behaving the way you think they should behave. You may know what the person is doing wrong and what they should or should not do. It may be clear to you that the persons behavior is harmful. If they would only do as you say they would be much better off. You want to help this person and it drives you nuts that they will not listen.

Remember that you cannot control another person. You can make suggestions, but you cant control the person and make them behave as you think they should. In fact, the only thing you can control is your own behavior.

Some of your discomfort may be because you feel responsible for the other persons behavior. You may feel embarrassed, almost as if it was your behavior. Think about this: If you cant control another persons behavior, how can you be responsible for that behavior? You are not responsible. You are only responsible for your own behavior. You can only control your own behavior. If another person chooses to gossip, be rude, or abuse drugs / alcohol, remember that they are responsible for that behavior, not you. You cannot force them to stop because you cannot control them.

What can you control and what are you responsible for? You can only control one thing and you are only responsible for one thing, which is your own behavior. So, what can you do in these situations?

First, it is helpful to stop and think through the situation as it relates to control and responsibility. Are you upset? If you are upset, is it related to another persons behavior? Were you in control of that behavior? Were you responsible for that behavior? If not, then put that burden down. Take the weight off of your shoulders and feel the relief! It is always helpful to clarify what you are and what you are not in control of, and what you can and cannot do.

Now that the mind is clear, think about what you can control and what you are responsible for. This would be your own behavior. Now you can stop filling your mind with what the other person is doing and focus on what you can do. This removes a burden for you and its much more productive. You may choose to have a conversation with the person and let them know that what you heard sounded rude or arrogant. They may listen and adjust their behavior, or you may be ignored. Either way, you have thought it through and chosen to act rather than react. You are responsible for your actions and you acted responsibly. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.

What about the person who feels guilty because they made someone angry? Does it upset you if someone becomes angry? I suppose that many people would feel some emotion. However, each person decides how he or she will respond to a situation. Sometimes they give it some thought and act, and sometimes they react with little thought.

Did you know that you cant make me mad? Dont get me wrong, I may become angry, but it will be my choice. I am responsible for my own anger. Before you smile too big, know that you are not off the hook. You are not responsible for my anger, but you are responsible for your behavior that I am reacting to. You see, I have a choice. I can become angry and ground you, or I can remain calm and ground you. Thats not a very good example, is it?

The point is that not only are we responsible for our own actions, but we are also responsible for our own reactions and emotions [an exception would be the individual who suffers from a mental illness and a chemical imbalance that affects the emotions].

Have you ever known someone who is easily angered? Often, the people around this person bend over backwards and walk on eggshells to keep this person from becoming angry. There are several things happening here. First of all, the people around this person are trying to control another person. Do you see it? They believe that it is best if this person does not become angry. They are attempting to control this persons emotions by doing whatever it takes to keep the person from becoming angry. The problem is that all of this effort takes a toll on these people and they are miserable. It is frustrating because they are trying to do the impossible, that is, control another person.

Secondly, these people are feeling responsible for another persons feelings. The more the person misbehaves with his or her anger, the more embarrassed the other people become.

Finally, these people are reinforcing this persons inappropriate anger. All the person has to do is become angry and everyone scrambles to please him or her.

I am not suggesting that you should intervene in these situations and intentionally make the person angry, although that might be fun. I just want you to be aware of the dynamic and not get caught up in the role of trying to control another person.

I hope that this is not confusing. I am telling you this to, hopefully, avoid confusion. I also want you to be aware of this dynamic and avoid trying to control another person or feel responsible for another persons behavior. Understanding the principles of responsibility and control will be valuable throughout your lifetime.

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What can you do, right now, that will dramatically put those odds back in your control? Start using “code words” in your family, today.

Here are the most important basics of using code words. Let’s begin…

Who uses the code word? Other than his/her parents, there should be only one or two relatives or very close, trusted family friends that a child should be taught are “special” enough to trust to pick him/her up from school or some other activity away from home.

When do you use the code word? If you are not able to pick up your child at an agreed upon time, and there is no way for you to contact your child, you should contact the “special person” to pick up your child. In the rare event that you cannot pick up your child, and you cannot reach the “special person”, the family code word MUST be used.

What should I use for the family “code word?” The family code word is a pre-determined word that should be very easy for your child to remember, but one that would be very difficult for someone else to guess. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! I will repeat this: The code word must be simple for your child to remember, yet very difficult for someone to guess. Some suggestions I recommend to use would be names of animals, such as, crocodile, giraffe, baboon, goldfish. DO NOT USE names that are common around your house. Such as, never use the name of your child’s favorite animal or pet.

Never choose a “code word” that is from things that are common to your family or house. Be creative, and make this a fun activity with your children. And be very specific. Don’t just decide on “bear” for your code word, how about using a “purple bear.” Remember, child safety should be fun. You don’t want to frighten your children.

How does my child use the code word system? If anyone other than yourself, your spouse, or the “special person” say’s they are there to pick up your child on your authority, your child should know to ask that person, “What’s the code word?” You should teach your child to disbelieve anyone who tries to pick them up if they do not know the code word.

Do I continue to use the same code word, always? Definately not! After an emergency situation arises where the code word must be used, the family needs to pick a new code word. Emphasize to the children that they should no longer respond to the old one. Be sure to review the new code word often enough to help al family members to remember it.

let me conclude this article on child safety by telling you that code words work. They have saved the lives of many children. This simple, yet highly effective tool is widely used by many families. There have been many, many police reports of children using the code word tool successfuly.

Remember to keep it fun, because keeping it fun, is keeping your children safe!

Until next time…

Spend some time with the kids, and have an incredible day!

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When it comes to our children we do need to be the ones in control. We are responsible for their safety and well being of course. But we are also the ones that need to teach them independence, good decision making skills, and build their self esteem at the same time. Learn to pick your battles and your whole family will run smoother and everyone will be much happier.

First off does it really matter if your child wears red striped pants with a blue polka dotted shirt? If we are going to church or somewhere special then yes I would prefer that my daughter at least somewhat match, but if we are at home or just running to the store I let her pick her own clothes as long as they are weather appropriate. Yes I get some funny looks but I will have my revenge later because I of course take pictures of all the colorful clothing combinations she has chosen and will be able to tease her about them later. My mom did the same thing with me, she has this wonderful picture of me with orange and pink flowered pants and a green and blue striped shirt.

Does it really matter if every corner of her room is picked up each and every day? I say no, she has an area where she does her “projects” and I personally see no reason why that can’t be a little messy at times. But we do have a hard and fast rule that once a week the room is totally cleaned and any toys or books must be picked up from other areas of the house before bed. She wins and I win.

When it comes down to doing an arts and crafts project you need to be prepared to throw out the directions sometimes. If their imagination takes them to a different place than the directions then so what. Most of the time you are doing arts and crafts for them to have fun anyway, so why stifle them and make it less fun. My daughter wanted to do a scrapbook so I got all the necessary stuff and as it turns out she really just wanted to make a book of her different “creations” using glue, markers, glitter, and other craft supplies. So what, I put up the photographs and she had a great time and I had a blast watching and helping her when asked.

My daughter likes to help me bake cakes, her favorite part is stirring the batter. Sometimes a little slops over but oh well, she will eventually get better at it especially if I don’t berate her and continue to let her help me. I have found that with practice she is getting better at neatly adding ingredients and stirring.

Basically what I am saying is you cannot expect perfection from your children. It just isn’t going to happen. They need to practice the skills you are teaching them and sometimes they will make mistakes. Don’t get me wrong if they are being naughty then by all means take control and dish out the appropriate discipline, but if they are making mistakes because they are trying to learn then a little encouragement and patience will go a long way.

We also all want to teach our children to be independent and sometimes they are going to show their independence a little too strongly for our tastes. That is when you need to make the decision is this a battle I need to control or is it just not a big deal?

After all just because you are the parent and in control does not mean you have to “win” each time you and your child disagree.

Remember the parenting skills you are using now are the ones your children will probably use when they raise your grandchildren. You might also want to keep in mind that someday when you are older the roles may get reversed and your children will be the ones “in control” of you.

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A safer bicycle ride for both parents and young children may be available thanks to what’s been described as a design breakthrough in child carriers.

Even with a proper helmet, many parents find it challenging to ride with their child behind them. Some are fearful that sudden moves on the part of the child can make it difficult to steer and maintain balance. Others have reported that it’s common to be kicked when the child rides behind in a standard carrier.

All that may be changing thanks to a family-owned company called Kent Bicycles. They’ve developed a child carrier that mounts in front of the person powering the bicycle. Called The Kangaroo, the carrier is said to make riding with a small child safer and more fun.

The carrier offers what the company calls an interactive approach to bicycling. That’s because with the child in front of the driver, it’s easier for parent and child to interact and communicate. It’s also easier for the parent to maintain control of the child’s movements. Plus, since they are riding up front, “where the action is,” children are likely to find the ride more interesting and entertaining.

Experts say that since the carrier is mounted in the center of the bike, and not the rear, it is safer and gives the bike and the riders more stability should a child shift his or her weight.

The Kangaroo is designed for children from 10 months to four years of age.

The company’s history dates back to the early 1900s. Its bikes and related accessories are said to incorporate the latest advances in design and technology at an affordable price. The company refuses to ship a product until it is confident it is safe enough to be used by the families of its employees.

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