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Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior and Discourage Misbehaving

admin — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 10:33:39 +0000

Disciplining a young child using the time out method can be very effective, and will work with children as young as 18-24 months old. By using this method of discipline parents are giving the child time to sit quietly and alone after misbehaving, without becoming angry or agitated with the child.

Designate an appropriate area in the house where the child is isolated from interacting with others. It can be a corner in their bedroom, a space on the kitchen floor or a special chair that’s labeled specifically for time outs. The length should be age appropriate. A good rule of thumb is generally one minute per year of age. A kitchen timer is helpful in counting down your child’s punishment time.
Time out for toddlers is used to give them a chance to regroup and calm down. It’s doubtful they will sit completely still, and they should not be forced to try.
All children should be asked in a firm but pleasant tone to complete a designated task or stop an undesired behavior. If their behavior persists, they should be verbally directed to behave once again, with eye contact being made and the time out spot pointed out. If after this warning the behavior still persists, they should be escorted to the time out location and told exactly why they are being sent there. Maintain a calm but firm tone with them. Once they’ve quietly served their time in the time out location it’s important to discuss with the child why they were sent there and that if the behavior occurs again, they will again be sent to time out. Older children should then agree to do what you told him to do or cease misbehaving. Children who leave their time out location before their time is up must be made aware that privileges will be lost as a result.

It’s likely that your time out method will have to be modified to fit the temperament of your child and your own parenting style. And remember to reinforce positive behavior with praises, hugs and smiles. Time out can successfully be used outside the home such a grocery stores, restaurants, or shopping centers. It’s important to emphasize to the child that time out will be enforced should they misbehave while there. Be consistent and place the child in time out should they misbehave in the store. If you don’t, they’ll get the message early on that you’re inconsistent and will be more likely to test your boundaries.

The Learning environment

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 02:45:31 +0000

There is often a trap in the words ‘after school activities’. One may
easily believe that since these activities are after school, they are not
of much importance. But, one couldn’t be more wrong. Research suggests
that children pick up some of their most important skills from after
school programs. That is why children who do not participate in any extra
curricular activities are generally slow and less vibrant.

The learning environment that one fosters in after school activities must
be as disciplined and as functional as that found in the school. This is
especially true of educational after school programs. This is the best
place to teach the child important skills like time-management and goal
setting. Time-management is a vital skill, but it is not achieved easily.
Children need to feel the discipline that is needed to finish a task and
the happiness of finishing the allotted work in a specific time frame.

Children look for different things in an after class program. The learning
environment should be attractive, colorful and informative. Use charts,
pictures, posters and drawings to liven up a class. Additional resources
(resources that are not easily available in the school) will make the
classes interesting. For instance, when teaching a biology lesson, allow
the child to see through a microscope or see slides of bacteria. This
will add to his knowledge and also make him more enthusiastic about his after school program.

Discipline is a must in after school activities. In fun or sport-based
activities, it is easy for children to step out of line and wreck havoc.
While children should be allowed to have fun, they should be curtailed
from unacceptable behavior. The best way to enforce discipline is to lay
down the rules at the very beginning. Let the children know what is
unacceptable, right at the beginning.

Rewards are an important part of any learning process. The reward can be a
simple pat on the back or a token of appreciation. Motivate your children
to aspire for higher things by rewarding their achievements. Holding
competitions or sport activities where the children can show their
proficiency is a reward in itself.

Children can get bored easily, especially in the case of an educational
program. The main thrust of an academic program is to repeat what has been
taught in class and to allow the child to learn it quickly. It is
difficult to pique the child’s interest a second time, especially when the
child is already tired of one dose of the same lesson. It is best to
thwart boredom by using creative techniques like an impromptu extempore on
any topic, a quiz program or a slideshow.

After school activities are becoming more popular by the day. Parents want
their kids to learn more. Children too have an insatiable quest for
knowledge. In an after school program, it is possible to pay individual
attention and quench this thirst using various effective techniques.

Seven Tips For Effective Parenting

admin — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 10:28:59 +0000

The birth of a child changes lives forever. Becoming a parent brings with it several concerns and responsibilities. And, the central concern becomes effective parenting. While parenting comes naturally to most, the many concerns of the modern world and its fast paced existence make parenting a many tiered concern.

Parenting in simple terms just means loving your child, and teaching him to be a rounded and caring individual. Children need understanding, love, as well as a certain guiding hand which will help them make appropriate choices.

The keys to effective parenting are:

1.Understand that you child is an individual with the ability to think. Never try and mold a child into what you imagine to be the right mold for him or her. Every child has certain inborn talents and must be given the opportunity to discover their own identity and personality.

2.Instill in the child a sense of self confidence and trust in you. They must know that at any time they can turn to you for advice and help. Help the child discover themselves, their inner talents and strengths. Keep all avenues of conversation open. Listen to what a child has to say. You will be surprised at how much children know today.

3.Nurture your childs talents and give them the space and opportunity to fly with the wind and touch the skies. Never try and push a child into a study course or profession they are not comfortable with let the child find its own level.

4.Reassure the child that he has your unconditional love and support. Your love is not a measure of the childs behavior, performance, or achievements.

5.Freedom needs limits. Being understanding and lenient does not mean running wild. Children need rules to work under as well as a pre-determined schedule. This instills in them a feeling of security as well as discipline. So, a parent must wield the carrot and stick but subtly not like a military general or great dictator.

6.The adage, spare the rod and spoil the child is valid. What a parent needs to do is use positive methods to discipline a child. Never beat or abuse a child but devise a way in which a child looses certain privileges when he or she behaves badly or oversteps limits. Decide with the child whether it should be TV privileges, or pizza treats, or movies, or visits to the mall. Many parents find grounded works well.

7.Create bonds that a strong and will stand the vicissitudes of time. Be warm, share interests, spend time together, establish routines and rituals, be vigilant and pick up clues when a child is upset or angry. Keep lines of communication open, a child must be able to come and share is troubles and problems with you without hesitation.

Being a parent is not about providing well, giving pocket money, or satisfying material needs. It is about creating love, understanding, and trust. Bonds that are formed in the early years of life will last a life time of good times and bad. It is important for parents to extend a warm hand of friendship.

Present a Unified Parental Front When Disciplining your Child

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:45:32 +0000

Disciplining your child is never easy. You probably know from experience and mistakes how important it is to be consistent, firm and to always follow through with designated disciplinary consequences. But when there are two parents involved, it’s crucial they are both on the same page and apply discipline consistently regardless of marital status.

Parents should agree on how to discipline their children. To become reliable to children, both parents must be consistent in dealing with similar situations. In a situation where the parents are separated or divorced, disagreeing with each other over upbringing can create a confusing situation for children. They should make a concerted effort to keep their child’s best interests at heart and sit down with their child and line out the rules and expectations and the consequences for violating those rules. Both should agree that the intended discipline is fair, and apply it consistently in a firm yet fair manner in each home.

In addition, if there are disagreements regarding discipline or other parenting issues, they are best resolved when the child is not present. If the child senses discord, they may attempt to manipulate the situation to their advantage.

When teaching good behavior, parents should “practice what they preach.” Children learn values and beliefs more by examples adults set than by verbal instructions. Screaming at a child to be quiet or paddling a child for hitting is hypocritical and ineffective. Decide what is important and what parental response to use to teach your child. It would be more effective to calmly tell your child to be quiet or use “time-out” when a child is physically aggressive.

And remember what works now may not work later down the road. Situations may dictate a different approach, and time and maturity may demand a child’s rule be modified or abolished altogether. Sometimes your common sense will help you decide when bedtime rules should be modified or table manners relaxed. Some rules will be the same, others will be modified or abolished, and new ones will be introduced. But regardless of the situation, parents should always present a unified front and work together and not against each other in providing effective discipline for their child.

Developmental after school programs

admin — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:14:44 +0000

As a child grows into an adult, different aspects of his physical,
emotional and mental self needs development. To help a child reach his
full potential, it is necessary to recognize the child’s developmental
needs and abilities. To be effective, after school programs should assist
children with tasks they must accomplish during each stage of development.

A child’s growth curve can be divided into three main parts:
1) Young child (ages 3-5)
2) Middle school (ages 6-8)
3) Older school (ages 9-12)

The four important domains of development are: The Physical Domain, the
Social Domain, the Emotional Domain and the Intellectual Domain. Each of
these domains needs to be separately addressed during the various phases
of a child’s growth. After school programs should concentrate on
developing each domain as applicable to the age of the child. Although the
children participating in these programs may have similar developmental
needs and age, do not expect development to be uniform. Children will
develop as and when they are ready.

Physical Domain:
When children are young, they want to perfect skills that they have just
learnt to control. A variety of movements such as jumping, catching and
throwing delight them. The middle school child, on the other hand, wants
to learn more complex skills and get involved in team sports. This is also
the best time to learn about rules and discipline in sport. The older
school child is ready for more adult-like activities that need greater
structure and discipline, like dancing, gymnastics, music classes etc.

Social Domain:
Young children are observing others and will be interested in games where
they play the roles of family members. They develop short-term friendships
and need an adult’s presence to assure them. The middle school child is
intrigued by society and will love trips to factories, public buildings
etc. They want to know the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of things. The older school
child is ready to learn about different cultures, food and customs. They
want to do some amount of social work too.

Intellectual Domain:
Young school children will practice what they are learning. Middle school
children want to learn more skills and will show interest in reading,
drama and problem solving. The older school children are ready to research
and probe. They enjoy getting a puzzle and pondering over it.

Any after school program needs to address the interests of the child depending
on the category he belongs to. Knowing the children in your program and
appreciating their needs and interests will help staff to plan and
structure programs that are most useful to that group.

Make A Chart

admin — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:36:19 +0000

All parents look for creative ways to guide their children in the process of learning new skills and putting away childish habits. Parents try all kinds of systems to make discipline in their homes easier. One of the easiest, cheapest and most effective ways that I’ve found to help accomplish the goals of my parenting is a chart.

I thought of the chart method as I walked through a art supply store one day. I saw the large pieces of poster board and the thought struck me instantly: make a chart that will help your kids take ownership and get excited about the responsibilities you are trying to teach them. It was as simple as that. I picked up a few pieces of large white poster board and headed home determined to institute the chart system with my four young children.

The great thing about using the chart system for your children is that it is flexible. You can design your chart to work on any variety of skills or responsibilities that you are focusing on in your home. The section of the chart devoted to help me two-year-old start to enjoy potty training obviously looks differently than my eight-year-olds column for making her own bed each day. Think about each of your children and the specific things are have been asking them to work on. Take maybe four or five specific things for each child and make a chart that displays each child’s name and each task you hope they accomplish.

My chart looks like a graph that displays the child’s name, the four or five responsibilities I want them to work on, and then space for each of the seven days of the week. My children all know what I expect of them, and each day that they accomplish a task they get to put a sticker of their choice in that space. They have gotten so excited about filling their columns up that they rarely complain about doing their tasks each day. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that there is a reward for filling all of your spaces on the chart each week. The rewards for each child vary based on their ages and tastes, but I make sure that they are rewarded in ways that will inspire them to keep learning new responsibilities with joy.

I’d encourage any parents to institute the chart system and see how your children begin to love seeing stickers fill the spaces on their chart.

Boring after school activities

admin — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:48:16 +0000

Why does Lisa grumble when it is time for her to go for her piano lessons?
How come Johnny abhors the sight of his skates now? After all, these
children were very enthusiastic about the programs when they started off.
What happened? Parents are often confused by the disturbing and often
incongruous signals they receive from their children. One day the kids are
excited about the new theatre class and in just a few short weeks they
wail and moan when it’s time to go.

The first thing a family should do when a child begins resisting a
previously loved activity is to listen and investigate. Do not jump into
conclusions. A little bit of intelligent sleuthing is required. Ask your
child what he or she does in the class. Find out what exactly is the cause
of the problem. Then ask the teachers the same questions. Compare notes.
You may stumble on some important clues. Usually, children start out on an
activity thinking it’s all fun. But when they realize that they cannot
just hang out and that they need to follow rules etc, they begin to
resist. Your child may feel stifled if the program is too structured. If
the discipline is too rigorous or the activity too painful (like a karate
class) some children balk. Use your own instincts. Does the program feel
like fun? Would you want to attend it yourself? Are they offering enough
motivation to keep the child interested?

The teacher-to-child ratio is also an important factor. Children need
attention. If the number of teachers is just enough to handle a class, it
is possible that your child is not receiving enough attention. State
recommendations usually specify that there must be 1 teacher for 15
children.

Children try to avoid problems they cannot solve. If there are no
perceivable problems with the class and the teachers, perhaps you need to
have a chat with your child. If your judgment says that the place is good
and the activity engaging enough, then it’s time to work with your child.
More often than not, social pressures may be at work here. Does your child
have friends there? If she is lonely or miserable because of the lack of
friends, help her find a friend. If she finds a friend, she will get more
involved in the activities

If your best efforts do not pay off, and your child still resists that
fantastic guitar classes, then it’s time to let go. Shift your child to
some other program. If he or she still retains interest in guitars, you
can take it up after a few months. Never force the child, especially when
it comes to extra-curricular activities. Since they are ‘extra’, they must
bring in extra happiness and extra enthusiasm too.

Is Private School right for my Child?

admin — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:34:14 +0000

You are considering a private school. Why is that? If you believe that by sticking your child in a private school that things will just get better for them, you may be making a big mistake. That is, you should send your child to a private school only if it is going to benefit him, not you. Many parents decide that secluding their child in this type of school will allow them to do better and avoid the problems that teens face. Yet, what you do not know is that they are probably going to face then anyway.

Drugs, alcohol, sex, and other teen pressures will happen no matter where they go and what they do. Instead of making a private school a punishment or a way to try and shield them from this, deal with these problems and then determine if this type of educational environment is right for your child.

When Is It Right?

To know when your child may be better off in a private school, ask yourself these questions.

Do you feel that the school that they are currently in is not capable of providing the academics that you feel are necessary for your child?
Have you tried to work with your teen on how to handle peer pressure, but feel that there is too much danger where they are nonetheless?
Will your child react that this private school is a punishment or will you try to explain to them that this will help them to become a better student?
Does the private school provide for the academics you need your child to have, the type of discipline that you believe in and the means to enforce it?
Will you still commit to helping your child through the problems they face, one on one even if they are not at a school locally?
What do you really want to accomplish from the private setting? Is this realistic?

Take some time to determine what a private school really can offer your child. In most cases, they will still be faced with all the temptations that other teens are. Making the right choice can happen if you to talk to your child, their teachers and your spouse.

Consistency is Key to Successful Discipline

admin — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:21:12 +0000

Consistency is Key to Successful Discipline
Consistency is key to successfully teaching your child right from wrong when disciplining them. It keeps small misdeeds and bad behaviors from later becoming bigger misdeeds and worse behaviors. You have to stand firm and mean it when you say, “Turn off the television now”or “no dessert after dinner because you didn’t touch your dinner.” Consistency teaches your child there are defined consequences for misdeeds and inappropriate or unacceptable actions or behaviors. Inconsistency when disciplining makes you directly responsible for your children’s misbehavior and doesn’t teach them how to be responsible for their actions.
It’s also that each partner is consistent with the discipline. If one parent is too strict and the other is too lenient, the child will key into that and try to manipulate the situation to his or her advantage. Parents must agree on disciplinary action in advance and make a commitment to one another to be consistent in implementing and following through with the consequences. This can be especially difficult if the child’s parents are separated or divorced. Though you may not be together anymore, it’s imperative that you parent on common ground. Openly and honestly discuss these parameters with your former spouse and your child in advance, so that if discipline is needed, the consequences of such misbehavior are well understood in advance. Any disagreements between parents should be discussed out of the child’s earshot.
Consistency is about being strong and standing firm, even when doing so is extremely difficult or exhausting. It can sometimes be hard to come home after a hard day at work only to find a hard night of parenting in front of you. Your child will consistently test the boundaries and ‘push the envelope’ with you to see if there’s any play in those consequences. By standing firm you are showing there is not and that you expect them to do nothing less than take responsibility for their actions.

Celebrate your Child’s Uniqueness

admin — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:02:11 +0000

Celebrate your Child’s Uniqueness
Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities.
Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don’t need to worry about being ‘like everyone else.’
Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.
Accept and celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.
And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. .

Find info on your childrens health » Discipline

Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior and Discourage Misbehaving

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