Take the Bite out of your Toddler’s Biting Problem
The majority of toddlers engage in some biting between their first and third birthdays. Probably the most common reason is that it is one of the few ways of communicating that’s effective for them, before verbal skills are developed. However, not all children bite. Some choose other forms of communication, such as grabbing, shoving, or punching.
Another reason toddlers bite is to express frustration, a feeling which is very common with toddlers, because both their communication skills and their motor skills are so limited.
To a young toddler it can be funny to see mommy suddenly bolt upright or for a playmate to start crying. Toddlers may also bite because they’re teething or because they put everything in their mouths anyway, so why not someone’s arm? It could even be something as simple as hunger.
But how do you teach your child not to bite? Make it perfectly clear that the biting is hurtful and wrong and point out to your child how much pain their biting has caused. Express that biting is wrong and unacceptable and that neither mommy or daddy like it.
If you discover that your child is biting out of frustration, try giving them an alternative to express to people they are having a difficult time. Though language is a difficult task at this age, most toddlers can be taught words that are appropriate for such a situation. For instance, “You need to tell mommy or daddy that you need help and not bite us,” or “Show mommy what you need, but don’t bite. You’ll hurt her if you bite and I know you don’t want to hurt mommy, do you?”
Experts agree that parents should try not to give biting so much attention that it becomes an attention-getter. This is true of all behavior that you don’t want to see repeated. Firmly tell the child again that there is no biting allowed, that it is wrong, and that it hurts people.
Just like breast feeding, pumping is a skill that you
learn. When first trying a breast pump, most mothers
are only able to express a few drops of milk. With
the proper practice and knowledge, the mother will
be more efficient at pumping.
Preparing the breast pump
1. Read all the instructions in the kit
very carefully.
2. Every part of the breast pump will need
to be sterilized before you begin using it.
3. After use, all the parts of the pump will
need to be washed in warm, soapy water, then rinsed
with hot water and drained on a clean towel. The
plastic tubing doesn’t need to be cleaned unless
you get milk into it. If you do wash it, it should
be hung to allow time to dry and drain thoroughly.
4. If your doctor feels the need, the
entire kit can be sterilized every day.
5. When you first start with an electric
pump, the suction level should be on the lowest
possible setting.
Getting started
- Warm compresses, gentle massages of the
breast and gentle nipple stimulation will help to
stimulate a quick let down.
- You should always relax while doing
breast massages during pumping. Some mothers prefer
to close their eyes then think about nursing the
baby, imagining the baby in their arms. The more
relaxed a mother is, the better let down she’ll
have and the more milk will be dispensed.
- Your first attempts at pumping should be
considered practice sessions with learning to use
the breast pump as the goal, not how much milk is
actually dispensed.
- When you use a hand pump, quick, short
pumps at the start is stimulating and will imitate
more closely the way a baby breast feeds. Once
the let down occurs and milk starts to flow freely,
long, steadier strokes are more effective and
less tiring.
- When you learn to pump, you should
practice for 5 minutes on a side at least once or
twice a day. Always pick the least stressful part
of your day for pumping.
Relaxing and realizing that the pump is your
friend is the single most important thing that a
mother can do. There are several things that a
mother can do to help herself relax, such as
putting a picture of the baby on the pump, playing
cards or a game with friends, watching television,
read books, or talk on the phone. Simply watching
the collection bottle is not helpful and will
probably put more stress on you than you actually
need.
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Problem solving and conflict resolution for children should begin being taught early on. If youre a parent of multiple children in your family this becomes apparent as it wont take siblings long at all to become engaged in some type of sharing violation with one another. Children of a family with other children almost immediately are engaged in a social type of activity albeit only with their brothers and sisters early on. Conflicts and resolving those conflicts soon become part of their day.
At an early age children are in more of a self exploration and self discovery mode. From there and from a socialization progression you will see kids playing together but not as a coordinated group. In other words, the next progression is to see a group of children geographically playing together but they all still have their own toys and objects. The next step of the socialization of play is around 2 to 3 years old where youll see kids begin activities that begin to require interaction and subsequently problem solving and conflict resolution.
As a homeschooling parents you have the opportunity to actually teach conflict resolution and problem solving techniques and skills rather than just solving them. As a part of conflict resolution its important to get children to express themselves and their feelings and get past their initial emotional reaction. This will initially take some time and practice, and you should take the time to get back to, and discuss the conflict that occurred at a later time or date after the emotions have calmed sufficiently down. Discussing previous conflicts and how they could have reacted and handled them is a key in their emotional growth.
As all children do early on, before they have the ability to concisely express themselves, they learn that many times crying and even screaming resolves their conflict because as parents we try to assuage the behavior by getting them what they want or need. The time needed for this emotional growth and self education just isnt available in the public schools. But as a homeschooling parent this should be a practiced activity.
Understanding and teaching conflict resolution to your children is an integral part of their social development and growth. Without these tools, children will grow into adults resolving problems the only way the have ever known how to do with emotional behavior, and sadly, many times with force.
There is a tremendous amount of excellent information on these techniques and teaching them to children of all ages. Make them part of your day, and a part of your childs life and they will grow in depth and confidence.
Tags: 3 Years, Brothers And Sisters, Conflict Resolution, Emoti, Emotional Growth, Emotional Reaction, Emotions, Express, Feelings, Homeschooling Parents, Interaction, Own Toys, Problem Solving Techniques, Resolving Conflicts, Self Discovery, Self Exploration, Siblings, SocializationRelated posts
When children are raised naturally, in keeping with their own true hearts, there is nothing that we need to teach them about Zen. In fact, the children then become our teachers, reminding us of what is important and expressing themselves naturally.
To grow a Zen child, means to raise a healthy, expressive, creative child–a child easily in touch with who they truly are. This child is naturally curious about life, experiencing each day as an adventure, going to sleep happy at night. This is a child to whom sharing comes naturally, who can laugh when things are funny and cry when they’re sad, who is not terrified of the consequences of their behavior or focused unnecessarily upon reactions of adults. This child then becomes strong and stable, able to weather all kinds of conflicting demands and pressures.
Actually, all of Zen practice comes simply to teach us how to become a child once again. Not how to become childish, but child-like, how to tap the natural knowingness and spontaneity we were all born with, to find delight in our days and share it with others.
In order to grow a Zen child certain basic steps need to be honored and taken. These steps are not difficult though they may be different from the ways in which we have usually been trained to think about child-rearing.
Some Steps To Growing A Zen Child
1) Honor The Child’s Natural Wisdom And Gifts
Most of us feel that we have to fill our children with information, knowledge, skills, direction. From the moment they are born we must “mold” them in the right direction, so that they will grow to fulfill our values and images of a successful adult. We do not stop a moment and question how these images have impacted upon us, how fulfilled and whole our lives are. We teach our children much more by who we are than by what we preach.
All children have their own innate wisdom, rhythms, sense of exploration, and ability to express what is most dear to them. Our job as caretakers is to create a loving, safe environment in which both we and they can discover who they are. Raising children, (like Zen practice) is a process of discovery. We must take our lead from the children, not impose ourselves upon them.
When children feel so deeply respected, all that is best and natural emerges easily. Their full intelligence and abilities become available to them. This kind of child will not become aggressive, distracted and filled with all kinds of fears. When a being’s basic nature is not interfered with, it becomes empowered to function at its best.
2) Don’t Compare Your Child With Others
Conformity and competition have become a craze (and plague) in our nation and in the process of child rearing. Nothing could be worse for both the parents and children. Comparing your child’s progress, scores or abilities with those of other children tell you absolutely nothing about who he/she is, or how they will do in their lives. There are many ways and timetables for developing, and different gifts and abilities that different children have.
Remember that being different doesn’t mean being better or worse. Many kinds of trees and flowers are needed in a garden. An apple tree will produce the best possible apples, don’t force it to give you pears. Not only will that distort it’s growth, but it will make the apple tree very sad. A garden with only one kind of flower would become uninteresting. Just as we need roses, tulips, lilies, etc. for the garden to be complete, we need all kinds of different children to make a whole world.
3) Allow Your Child To Express Who She Is
There are many, many constrictions placed upon what children are allowed to express. There is a demand for politeness, control and censure coupled with the intrinsic notion that certain thoughts and feelings are bad and cannot or should not be expressed. The child develops the sense that certain parts of them are bad and unacceptable. This causes these parts to go underground, and become the source of symptoms of all kinds.
Help the child find a way to communicate and express whatever he/she is going through. It can be done through words, song, art, plays, dancing together, planting flowers. Make sure you find a way to let them know you truly hear what it is they need to say. The childs self worth will then grow.
4) Look For And See The Best In All The Child Does
Rather than find fault, criticize, punish and negate the child in the thousands of ways we usually do, specifically look for and see the best in the child and all that they do. Acknowledge it to them as well. Everyday let the child know something you are truly proud of them for and pleased with about them.
However, sadly, in many situations the opposite occurs, praise and acknowledgement is given rarely, in a context of criticism and complaint. Turn this around. Let the child realize that though they may have made an error, the totality of who they are is wonderful.
You can also ask them what they are pleased with and proud of about you. If there is something troubling them in the relationship, this is a time it will come to the fore. There is nothing more crucial than keeping open lines of full communication between parents and child.
5) Grow Yourself!
Of course as parents grow a Zen child, they are simultaneously growing themselves. The way we treat another, reflects back upon us. The beauty and goodness we find in another, we begin to see wherever we go. As we loosen the bonds and chains we tie our children in, we are always freeing ourselves as well. Power struggles disappear in these kinds of relationships, and make lots of room for love to grow.
Cc/author/2005
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Tags: Adult, Adults, Child Rearing, Consequences, Creative Child, Express, Images, Information Knowledge, Innate Wisdom, Job, Knowledge Skills, Natural Wisdom, Rhythms, Right Direction, Sleep, Spontaneity, Tap, True Hearts, Weather, Zen PracticeRelated posts
Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition. But it can be a terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you’re taking your anger out on them. Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have lasting and lethal implications, so it’s crucial that as a parent, you do whatever necessary to get your anger in check.
As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger. If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself. If you don’t, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren’t fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that’s what they’ll most likely grow into as well.
It’s important to ‘pick your battles’ when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don’t warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry. But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn’t worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you’re the one in control of your anger; don’t let your anger control you. Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong.
Tags: Abusive Parent, Accidents, Agony, Anger Control, Angry Face, Angry Voice, Appropriate Response, Control, Deep Breath, Express, Necessary Steps, Nuisances, Parenting, Parents, Personal Issues, Relationship Troubles, Small Stuff, Time Out, Verbal Abuse, WarrantRelated posts
Chores Can Help your Child Learn about Teamwork and a Strong Work Ethic
Chores can help develop a sense of responsibility and self worth in your child. It should be understood by all family members they are expected and necessary to a household running successfully and efficiently. They can help create a sense of unity and family and is a great place for your child to learn about teamwork. Parents should take special care to handle the delegation of chores to children so they don’t become a source of frustration or create arguments.
Allow your child to have an active say in the delegation of chores. Give them choices. We all have household chores that we don’t like to do, but if it’s a chore the child enjoys doing then there’s less likelihood it will create a battle in the end. The child will most likely appreciate having the chance to be heard and having a choice.
It’s imperative that you set parameters early on for the successful completion of a chore. They may not perform up to snuff when they first start performing the chore, but show them where improvement is needed and praise them for a strong effort. Also make sure the child understands there will be repercussions if they only put forth a minimal effort. Ensure the child understands the need for the chore’s effective and efficient completion. Set consequences for substandard completion as a team. Make sure they see that if they don’t perform their chores, it affects the other members of the team. Spouses must work together and be a strong example for their children by completing their own chores each day. And don’t allow a child to undermine your authority by battling with you over a designated chore. Stand your ground and don’t give in, and emphasize the consequence and negative effect an uncompleted chore has on the family.
And keep an open mind when a child wants to discuss their thoughts or express their opinions about chores. Make sure the conversation stays positive and on target.
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Celebrate your Child’s Uniqueness
Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities.
Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don’t need to worry about being ‘like everyone else.’
Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.
Accept and celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.
And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. .
Related posts
Celebrate your Child’s Uniqueness
Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities.
Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don’t need to worry about being ‘like everyone else.’
Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.
Accept and celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.
And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. .
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Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like they’re not listening to us; they feel like we’re not listening to them. Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting. Your child’s feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.
It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our child’s feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they’re coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.
It’s crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.
Don’t discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.
Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond – don’t react.
Tags: Communications Skills, Dialog, Difficult Situations, Doing Dishes, Emotions, Experiences, Express, Eye Contact, Fear, Feelings, Instinct, Judgment, Natural Tendency, Opportunity, Parenting, Potential Solutions, Repercussion, Tactic, Television, Undivided AttentionRelated posts
As your child approaches teen age around 12-13 years old- youll experience some changes in him. He will probably be out of the house more often and wants to keep his privacy from you. Other times, he may not be listening to you nor doing what you ask him.
Many parents in the world find the same troubles when dealing with their teens. Hope you dont get them. But if you do, dont worry! Keep on reading to get solutions.
Just like when you were a teenager, you wanted to spend times with your peers rather than with your parents or family, right? Your teen feels the same way, too. Making his own decision is another important thing for him besides privacy.
Now, do you think your teen is out of control and never wants to listen to you?
Dont give up! Of course you can help yourself deal with your teen. The best way to do it is to always strengthen your relationship with him. But how?
Here are the solutions:
1. Talk with him more Its better if you start the conversation. It can be just How was your day, buddy? Try to discuss many things instead of interrogate him. Find interesting topics, such as sport, entertainment, friends, and school experience to make it relaxing.
2. Listen to him If he reveals his criticism to you, listen to him and ask what he expects you to do. Talk about this wisely, not emotionally. Its good for him to be able to express the feeling.
3. Set rules for him Your teen needs to recognize what is and isnt acceptable and what the consequences of misbehavior are. Therefore you should set, or precisely, negotiate some rules with your teen to keep him on track.
4. Consider his point of view Regard your teen as your friend and respect his opinion whenever you discuss something. This also shows that you pay attention to him and consider him as important.
5. Encourage your teen by doing his interests and talent Most teens like to try new things. Let yours choose what he desires, though you dont agree with it because, for example, it can endanger him. Giving him support is the best you can do, while you keep monitoring that the new activity is safe for him. Moreover, this idea is a good way of teaching your teen on how to be responsible with things he does.
6. Do things together This one is surely a great opportunity for you to improve your relationship with your teen. Why? Cause you probably havent had much time to spend with him. Arrange agenda for the whole month. In each week, make an interesting plan for you and him and get the pleasant results at the end of it.
Still about the last point above, think of exciting activities you both can do together. For example, in the first week, play video games together on Saturday, while on the next day both of you can go bowling or swimming at the beach.
Later, in the following weeks, set up enjoyable weekends by doing these: having breakfast at a popular coffee shop which makes your teens favorite food and beverage, going fishing, going to the movie, camping, or visiting a college where your teen looks forward to join in the future.
Conclusively, warm and positive communication without underestimating your teen is a key to successful relationship between the two of you. Clearly it wont work at once. Try the tips progressively and enjoy your time being a parent of a teenager.
Tags: 13 Years, Consequences, Express, Interesting Topics, Many Things, Misbehavior, Most Teens, Parents, Peers, Point Of View, Privacy, Relationship Work, Respect, School Experience, Sport Entertainment, Teen Age, Teen Parent, Teenager