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Nov
05

Sharing Books with Children

Posted by admin

One of my first memories of childhood is that of my mother reading Dr. Seuss books to me in a big brown recliner in our living room. That memory brings with it sounds and smells and a general feeling of safety and comfort that never fades, even after all these years. Naturally, one of the first memories I have of my own first born child is sitting in a big chair and reading Little Golden Books to him.

Sharing books and reading with my children is as natural as giving them baths and making their breakfast. Its just something I do everyday, and its one of the most pleasurable moments of my day. I love to hold my two year old in my lap while we snuggle up and look through his ever growing library of books. His favorite books change weekly as his interests broaden. Books open up the world to him and his imagination is bubbling over with new ideas every day.

More than just telling a story, books help children better understand their own ideas and feelings and often calm an upset toddler when nothing else will work. They see and hear about other kids like them and others from around the world who are different. Weve all seen little kids acting out the stories they hear. As a child I spent many afternoons pretending to be the characters from my favorite books. Just recently my son was playing Dr.Dan. The Bandage Man, a current favorite Little Golden Book.

Although reading with children is so very rewarding for both adult and child, little kids need time to look at books alone. This allows them the opportunity to look at the pictures and develop the habit of reading even though they cant yet read. In my Family Child Care, I have different libraries available in different rooms in my home. The kids have labeled these areas libraries themselves, and will often rotate the books from room to room and act out going to the library daily. Imagine my surprise when I first witnessed a three year old taking the younger kids to the library.

Because books are a very user-friendly activity and require no prep or cleanup other than returning them to the library, parents can and should use any opportunity to share books with their young children. Long car or plane trips, waiting rooms, in shopping carts, you name it, you can hand a child a book and make just about any transition or otherwise boring activity exciting. Books and reading can be both a group or individual activity, and many children who are normally shy in a group setting will sit in the reading circle and share story-time while making new friends.

By sharing books with your young child, you are planting a precious memory that will last a lifetime for both parent and child. They in turn will continue the tradition with their own children and remember those special times. A world of experiences and ideas are waiting for you to introduce to them.

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In order to teach or child to treat others with respect and dignity, they must also be treated that way. And childhood is a time for children to learn about the world, including how to get along with others. Parents play an essential role in teaching children how to form healthy relationships and grow into socially adept individuals. This social competence allows children to be cooperative and generous, express their feelings, and empathize with others.

The most effective way to teach children this lesson is by modeling the behavior you want to encourage. Every time you say “please” or lend a helping hand, you are showing your children how you would like them to act. Ask for your children’s help with daily tasks, and accept their offers of help. Praise your child’s good behavior and traits often, and help them realize how good it feels inside to do a good deed or be generous with another person.
Socially competent children are ones who have a strong sense of self worth and importance. When a child feels good about themselves, it’s easy for them to treat others in a positive, helpful manner.
Encourage acts of generosity through sharing and cooperation. Let your child know when it’s someone else’s turn with a toy or on the swing and praise their ability to recognize this on their own. Thank them for being polite and respectful and for sharing and cooperating.
Children know from their own experiences that words can hurt, and that name-calling, teasing, or excluding others affects how people feel. Children want to be treated fairly, but they don’t always understand how to treat others the same way. One way to teach fairness is to explain a rule to your child, pointing out that it applies to him as well as to others.

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Your Preemie Is In The NICU – What Can You Do?

Your feelings are tied up in that tiny little preemie bundle, and you have a hard time comprehending this small, wrinkled resemblance of a baby that is attached to every conceivable contraption…could belong to you. But when your heart is broken in more places then you could ever dream possible, and waiting seems endless, you are harshly welcomed into the world of parenthood.

It is truly staggering when you consider that an average of 1300 premature babies are born every day in the United States. If you are reading this article, you are probably the parent of one of these preemies. With so many things in this new out-of-control world of living in the NICU, what can you control?

Be There For Your Preemie

For you, the first thing you can control is being there for your baby. It may seem like you are standing around (in the way) not being helpful, but you are doing an important job. Your voice, your touch, your prayers, and your deep love is something your preemie needs and craves as he or she is trying to get stronger. Your baby can see you, hear you, and/or feel you. You are important and you are needed.

It is just as important that you are there mentally. Everything is so out-of-body and surreal, but you can begin focusing on the essentials of your preemies care. Learn about your babys routine, his reactions, and health limitations. Keep yourself informed about everything and you can then notice the small things that are overlooked in you preemies care. You can then request that these things be taken care of from a knowledgeable perspective, not just as a panicky parent.

Knowledge Is Power

Knowledge Is Power is a common saying. An important one when you consider the fact that you are now your babys cheerleader and coach for the rest of his or her life. Begin learning all that you can about your preemie and her specific medical needs now and in the future. Books, articles (like this one), your babys doctor, reputable websites, and other experienced preemie parents are wonderful sources of inspiration, information, and education for you.

It may seem difficult to find the time when you are so stretched, but go slowly when you can find that time and keep at it. Make small goals for yourself. Remember, if you set goals, you will get much farther than if you dont. You can do some of these things in the NICU at your babys side.

Look To The Future

Last, look to the future. It may seem silly to plan out what kind of parent you want to be for the next 18 years, but long-term goal setting is a very worthwhile occupation for any parent. Right now as time seems to drag on endlessly, it is difficult to see that time will soon pick up speed and the years will fly by. Practice little things now, like patience, and it will be easier when your preemie is older.

How are you going to react to your preemie when he or she does something that makes you mad, upset, frustrated, angry, happy, or laugh? How will you discipline and praise your baby? What kind of people will you let your baby be around, and not? Do you have any family traditions you would like to start? What healthy habits do you want to instill in your preemie?

If you keep your mind busy with all of the things you can do for your new preemie, then it is harder to fall into constant anxiety. Try not to worry (though it seems an impossible task) about will my baby make it, or what kind of problems will my baby have, or I cant do this anymore, or Is my baby in pain?, and whatever else is plaguing you. Stay focused on your goals, and keep your mind thinking positive thoughts even if you are tempted to do otherwise.

Remember, you are the best parent your preemie could ever have, and your baby is depending on you. You can do it if you take one day at a time. At times you may even have to break it down by minutes taking one crisis at a time. You are not alone, and you can forge your way through this trial as many parents have done before you.

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Oct
02

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR KIDS CRY ?

Posted by admin

Crying is a physiological process in the life of a baby.All normal babies cry to communicate with others.Sine they can’t express their feelings in words crying is the only way for communication. If any uncomfortable feeling comes they simply cry.Normally babies cry in situations like hunger,wetting,too heat or cold,tight cloaths,pain ect. Some kids need the presence of somebody otherwise will cry simply.Crying without any cause is habitual in some babies. Eventhough crying is considered as normal it may worry the family members.Since the reasons for crying ranges from simple causes to serious causes it should not be ignored and hence exact cause has to be identified and managed accordingly.

The following are some points which should be considered while dealing with a crying baby.

1, It is dangerous to shake the baby vigorously.

2,Tight cloaths can cause irritation hence it should be removed.

3,If the room is hot put the fan and open the windows.

4,If the nappy is wet remove it and after cleaning the parts make it dry with a soft towel.

5,Pat her back or stroke her head slowly and let her here your soothing sound.

6,Give breast milk and make her quiet.

7,If the climate is cold cover her in soft towel.

8,Rock her gently in your arms and walk slowly in the room.

9,Take a music making doll and let her listen.

10,Try a pacifier or help her for thumb sucking.

11,If no response change her position.

12,Walk outdors with her.

13,Put her on the cradle and rock gently.

14,If no response ask somebody to carry the baby.

Even after all these steps the baby goes on crying see for the following signs.
( Probable cause is given after every sign)

1,Press her abdomen gently,she may twist or resist you:—Colic

2,Pull her ear gently she may become worse or push your hands away:—Earache.

3,Feel her temperature with the back of your hands:–Fever due to any infection.

4,Examine the skin from head to foot:–Eruptive disease,nappy rash,measles,vesicles,allergy ect.

5,See the nose for any discharge:–Coryza.

6,Move the head gently to feel any neck stiffness:–Meningitis,head injury ect.

7,Keep your ear near her chest to hear any rattling sound:–Increased mucus in wind pipes.
(pneumonia,bronchiolitis,asthamatic bronchitis ect)
8,Examine the anal orifice:–Anal erosion,rectal polyp,crawling of worms.

9,Examine the genitalia:–Any discharge or erosion.

10,In male baby see the testicles which may be swollen or tender:–Orchitis,torsion of testes.

11,also notice the body movements and see for any convulsions,rigors,vomiting,cough,laboured breathing ect.

If you see the above signs or any other abnormal signs consult your doctor for proper treatement.

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It’s often a challenge to decide just who to invite to your baby shower. What is the proper etiquette and how do you avoid hurting someone’s feelings?

When determining your guest list, it’s important to define your target group. Is it your idea to host the traditional women only gathering or will you include children? Today it’s becoming increasingly popular to invite couples and/or complete families.

When you decide on the type of shower you are going to be hosting make sure your invitations are precisely worded, such as “women only”, “children welcome” and so on based on your decision. If you are planning a specific theme make sure this is included on your invitations as well as any special instructions such as what to bring, how to dress, and directions to the party location. This will save you countless telephone inquiries regarding the specifics of your shower plans.

Always ask your invited guests to RSVP and keep in mind that typically about 20-25% of those confirming will ultimately fail to attend for a variety of reasons.

Baby Showers held at an office, social club or church have a pre-determined guest list of co-workers, club members or fellow church members but make sure that you find out if your shower is the only one being held for the mom to be. If it is, then you may want to extend invitations to her personal friends and family. It may take a bit of discreet probing to find out if there are additional showers planned.

Alternatively, if you are a friend or family member planning the only shower, it’s a thoughtful idea to make a call to the prospective mother to be’s employer to find out who should be invited from her workplace.

In most cases her husband should be able to supply contact information for her friends and work associates.

Don’t forget that if your shower is the sole party planned, you should extend invites to the mom’s family as well as her husband’s family.

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If youre planning to go back to work after your baby is born, child care is a major concern. Your childcare provider will be spending a lot of time with your child, so it is critical that you be comfortable with the environment and the style of care your child will be receiving. There are several alternatives, each with pros and cons. Spend some time evaluating each option, so that you can make the choice that best suits your needs.

The first option is in-home child care, meaning a sitter, or nanny who comes to your home to watch the child. This is by far the most expensive option, but it has many advantages. Your child will be at home, and will have the full attention of the nanny. In addition, your child will be exposed to fewer illnesses, and you will not have to transport her back and forth on your way to and from work. The main disadvantage is that you have no real backup if your nanny gets sick or wants to take vacation. Another thing to consider is your feelings if your child develops a very strong bond with the nanny. More than one mother has been hurt by the sense that the baby is more comfortable with the nanny than with her.

The second option is a small home daycare, meaning you find someone who will keep your child in her home, perhaps with her own children or one or two others. This is a good option if you want your child in a home atmosphere, but cant afford the full time nanny. This option shares the same disadvantages of having a nanny in terms of no backup plan.

The third option is a traditional daycare center. Traditional daycares are affordable, and there is no need to worry about a caretaker getting sick or wanting to take vacation. A daycare might also be more of a learning environment than home care, which will become more important to you as your child gets older. The main disadvantages of daycares are that your child is exposed to all the germs of all the children. Be prepared for the both of you to be sick for a year. The other disadvantage is the numbers of children being cared for. For example, in most states, the law requires one caretaker per eight babies. Now, I dont know about you, but I could not effectively care for eight babies alone. So, if you decide to use a daycare center, be sure to ask their caretaker to child ratio. Look for one with about five babies per caretaker.

Choosing your babys childcare arrangement is one of the most important decisions youll make. Even after youve chosen a care option, be diligent about ensuring that your child is receiving the best care. Drop in unannounced at odd times of day to see whats going on. Dont be afraid to ask questions, and let the caretaker know whats important to you. Its critical not only to your childs well being, but to your own piece of mind.

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Problem solving and conflict resolution for children should begin being taught early on. If youre a parent of multiple children in your family this becomes apparent as it wont take siblings long at all to become engaged in some type of sharing violation with one another. Children of a family with other children almost immediately are engaged in a social type of activity albeit only with their brothers and sisters early on. Conflicts and resolving those conflicts soon become part of their day.

At an early age children are in more of a self exploration and self discovery mode. From there and from a socialization progression you will see kids playing together but not as a coordinated group. In other words, the next progression is to see a group of children geographically playing together but they all still have their own toys and objects. The next step of the socialization of play is around 2 to 3 years old where youll see kids begin activities that begin to require interaction and subsequently problem solving and conflict resolution.

As a homeschooling parents you have the opportunity to actually teach conflict resolution and problem solving techniques and skills rather than just solving them. As a part of conflict resolution its important to get children to express themselves and their feelings and get past their initial emotional reaction. This will initially take some time and practice, and you should take the time to get back to, and discuss the conflict that occurred at a later time or date after the emotions have calmed sufficiently down. Discussing previous conflicts and how they could have reacted and handled them is a key in their emotional growth.

As all children do early on, before they have the ability to concisely express themselves, they learn that many times crying and even screaming resolves their conflict because as parents we try to assuage the behavior by getting them what they want or need. The time needed for this emotional growth and self education just isnt available in the public schools. But as a homeschooling parent this should be a practiced activity.

Understanding and teaching conflict resolution to your children is an integral part of their social development and growth. Without these tools, children will grow into adults resolving problems the only way the have ever known how to do with emotional behavior, and sadly, many times with force.

There is a tremendous amount of excellent information on these techniques and teaching them to children of all ages. Make them part of your day, and a part of your childs life and they will grow in depth and confidence.

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Responsible behavior doesnt come naturally; it is a learned trait. It is important for parents to teach their children responsible behavior at an early age; a healthy respect for the feelings of others, and a strong sense of right and wrong.

Combined with setting a good example and involvement in a young childs development of social skills, spend quality time with your child and instruct them about proper, responsible behavior. It can go a long way in helping to correct behavior problems that could lead to serious consequences down the road.

Everyday experiences are a parents best tool when it comes to teaching responsible behavior. Because this type behavior is a learned trait, it can become habit through repetitiveness.

Parents can effectively teach children with both words and deeds. Parents can always tell a child to respect others, and they may or may not comply in any given situation. But, when a parent consistently shows respect for others opinions, feelings, and possessions, they teach their children to do the same.

Actions + Words = Effective Training Methods

Our daily actions, attitudes, and social skills speak louder and much more effectively than words. As children watch what we do and ask questions, a golden opportunity is presented to teach valuable life-lessons.

Mommy, why did you let that old lady skip in front of us?

Because she had only a few things to buy and we have a full cartload. I didnt want her to have to stand in line for a long time.

Do you know her?

No. Ive never met her before.

Then how do you know she didnt want to wait in line.

Because she looked uncomfortable, and seemed to be in a hurry.

By exhibiting responsible, considerate behavior toward others, children learn from our actions. As we encourage questions and answer in ways that explain why we did something, children better understand and become more conscientious of other peoples needs instead of just their own.

Story TimeA Golden Opportunity to Teach Responsibility

Another good method for teaching children responsible behavior is with the use of stories. Most children are enthusiastic when it comes to having someone read them a story. Select books that teach life-lessons, and then discuss what was read. Encourage the child to ask questions, seeking the opportunity to emphasize good character traits, and the awareness that all actions good or bad will have consequences.

Every Day Presents Opportunities of Its Own

Consistency and application are keys when teaching small children about responsible behavior. Spend time with your child regularly. Encourage them to tell you about their day and things that happened; what they thought or felt, what they saw or heard, what they did or wanted to do. Use every opportunity to stimulate thoughts of awareness.

Put emphasis on positive feelings, emotions, and qualities such as bravery, thoughtfulness, compassion, honesty, kindness, etc. Help your children identify these traits in persons they know, characters they see on television, or people they read about. Help them to identify and cultivate these qualities in themselves. At the end of each day, ask, How were you honest today? or Tell me two ways you were considerate to someone else today.

Show Children How to Handle Negative Feelings Responsibly

Also help children explore acceptable ways to effectively deal with negative feelings such as anger, hurt, resentment, loneliness, etc. If a child expresses feelings of anger toward someone, avoid the urge to say that anger is wrong; instead, explore their feelings of anger with them.

Ask why they were angry, or ask them to tell you how angry they were. Help them understand that while it is natural to feel angry at times, how we express that anger is very important. There are acceptable ways to express anger, as well as unacceptable ways.

Tell them a story or cite an example of someone who experienced a particular negative feeling, then ask your child questions like, What should Becky have done when she got angry? or, Why do you think Eric was lonely? What could he have done about it?

Helping a child to understand the feelings of others as well as their own, and appropriate ways to express those feelings, are big strides toward learning responsible behavior.

By spending time with your child on a regular basis and teaching through example and discussion, you equip your child with good socialization skills, and cultivate responsible behaviors sure to benefit them and others around them for a lifetime.

2006 Lori S. Anton
Savvy Baby Gear Editor

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Some parents may worry that setting strict rules may distance them from their children. But this simply isn’t the case. Though they may gripe and complain and get upset when you become the enforcer, they realize deep down that this shows you care. These parameters you set forth and enforce make your child feel loved, safe, and secure.

It’s never easy developing and introducing rules. Parents may tend to avoid setting rules because they fear confrontation and unpleasantness. But the uncomfortable stuff isn’t necessarily a reflection on your relationship with your child, it’s just the nature of adolescence – breaking rules and pushing limits is a part of growing up. We tend to want to be our child’s friend sometimes, and when we’re laying down the law that just isn’t possible. Our primary role is to protect, nurture and provide for our children.

When kids break rules, parents often overreact with harsh, disproportionate and unenforceable punishment, which undermines the effectiveness of setting rules. Instead, when you first tell your child about a new rule, discuss the consequences of breaking that rule – what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand in hand with limits so that your child knows what the cost of breaking the rules will be. The punishments you set should be reasonable and related to the violation. For example, if you catch your son and his friends smoking, you might “ground” him by restricting his social activities for two weeks.

Punishments should only involve penalties you discussed before the rule was broken. Also, never issue empty threats. It’s understandable that you’ll be angry when house rules are broken, and sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment, or sadness can have a powerfully motivating effect on your child. Since we’re all more inclined to say things we don’t mean when we’re upset, it’s sometimes best to give ourselves a time-out period to cool off before we say something we don’t mean.

Make the ground rules crystal clear to your child. It’s imperative that you are consistent and follow through with a defined disciplinary action after each infraction, and that your child understands the reasons why.

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Apr
08

Choosing the Perfect Baby Name

Posted by admin

Names are important because they represent a persons identity. The names we are given typically stay with us for a lifetime. This is why prospective parents struggle so hard to find the perfect baby name.

But, choosing a name can be difficult. After all, there are many different ways to go about it. Names can be chosen based on origins, meaning, uniqueness, or something else. This leaves many people wondering exactly how to get started. If youre looking for the perfect baby name, here are some baby naming tips that may help:

Popularity
Though there have always been extremely common names, most baby names tend to follow some sort of trend or cycle of popularity. Some parents prefer choosing a baby name that is rare, while others try to find a name that is fairly popular. Think about how you felt as a child. Did it make you feel special that nobody shared your name? Was it frustrating that others had the same name as you? Your child may end up with many of the same feelings if given a unique or popular name. Carefully consider these feelings before choosing a baby name.

Boy Names vs. Girl Names
Many of todays popular names are ambiguous. For example, names like Riley, Madison, Jaden, and Taylor can be used for a boy or a girl. While some parents only choose names that provide clear gender identification, others feel this is of little importance. If clear gender identification is important to you, make sure you choose the name carefully. As mentioned, many of the most popular baby names are now interchangeable.

Meaning
Baby names are words, and every word has a meaning. If you need help choosing the perfect name, you may want to look up the meanings of a few baby names. Many parents choose a name based on a meaning that reflects qualities and traits that they hope their child will possess.

Opinions
When it comes to baby names, everyone has an opinion. Some people may even suggest that you name your baby after them. Try to take these opinions in stride. Its impossible to please everyone and it is absolutely impossible to choose a name that everyone will like. You will be much better off choosing a baby name that makes you happy.

Spelling and/or Pronunciation
Spelling and pronunciation is an important factor to consider when choosing a baby name. Because every name can have an alternative spelling, baby name possibilities are virtually endless. Before you decide to go with an alternative spelling, think carefully. Though there is nothing wrong with being unique, your child may have to spend a good number of years correcting people on the spelling and/or pronunciation of the name.

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