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Your best friend just called you and told you the good news – she is pregnant! After you get over the initial shock and excitement, your next move is probably to begin planning a shower for her. There are many things to think about when planning a shower for someone – the guest list, decorations, games, refreshments – the list goes on and on.

Although most everyone loves a surprise party, you want to consider asking the mom-to-be’s opinion when planning her shower. There may be certain people she would like to invite and certain things she wants (such as a certain theme for the shower). Plus, at this point in her pregnancy, the mom-to-be may be freaking out about the baby’s impending birth, so another surprise might not be what she needs a the moment.

Place

Find out a good date and time for the shower as well as where she would like to have it. The location of the shower may depend on the size of the guest list. If you are only inviting a few friends, you should volunteer to have it at your house if possible. Some people who have larger showers may need to find another location such as a church, a conference room at work, a restaurant (in a closed off area), or a country club. If you are having the shower during months with pretty weather, you might even consider having it outside, although you should always consider the comfort of the mom-to-be.

Guest List

The guest list for a shower is very important. You want to include all the important people in your friend’s life. A great way to decide on the list is to ask your friend to meet you somewhere nice for a relaxing lunch and while there, you can go over the list. Or, maybe treat her to having a pedicure and you can talk about it while you have your nails done. Just be sure to have her bring her address book so you can get the addresses you need. You should let her decide whether it is going to be a girl’s only shower or a shower for everyone. If she would like the father-to-be there, he may be more comfortable with other men around, so consider inviting her brothers, father, stepfather, uncles and any other men she would like to have there. Since she probably has a lot of her mind, try and help her think of people she would like to invite from places such as work, high school, college, or church.

Registry

The mom-to-be may already be registered somewhere, but if not, try to encourage her to do so. She can register online at many places such as Wal-Mart and Target, so she doesn’t even have to leave home to do it. This will give the guests a good idea of what she needs and prevent her from getting three strollers. Be sure to include her registry information in the invitations for guests.

Invitations

Once you get the guest list set, you will need to choose invitations. Again, these depend on the size of the shower. If you are only having a few people, you may want to purchase invitations at a local party store and hand address each envelope. However, if you are having a larger shower, you may want to order engraved invitations from somewhere that will do all the addressing for you. No matter what you decide, be sure to involve the mom-to-be in the process of choosing.

Itinerary

Once the invitations go out, you need to plan the actual shower. Again, consult the mom-to-be on this. Do you want to do a theme for the party decorations? If you know if it is going to be a boy or a girl, this is a great idea. If you don’t know what it is going to be, you can always go with a generic theme like Disney or Blues Clues. Some people like showers that include games and some do not, so you will need to ask her about this. You will also need to decide what type of food to serve. You may want to serve a full meal, appetizers or just cake and desserts. Again, take the mom-to-be into consideration. If she has been having awful heartburn, you may not want to serve spicy entrees. Also, some pregnant women develop gestational diabetes and may be on strict diets. And don’t forget drinks – do you want punch, soda, or tea?

Miscellaneous things to think about include keeping tabs on how many people plan to attend, photography (if you have a digital camera, this works great), assigning someone to write down gifts and names, and cleaning up afterwards. Don’t forget to figure out how the mom-to-be will get all her gifts home. If the father-to-be is there, he can load and unload stuff, but if not, you may want to assign someone to follow her home with the gifts or volunteer to bring them over later yourself.

There is a lot of planning to a baby shower, but in the end, your friend will enjoy it and love you for having one for her.

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We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never easy. Children are all very different, and what might need to be a rule for one, may not even be an issue for another. That being said, there are many parameters that we set as parents that are the hard and fast rules – those with no ‘wiggle room.’ Those are the rules set forth to protect our child’s health, safety and well-being. These rules and their consequences should be very clearly defined and it should be understood by all involved that they are there for a very important reason and that they are ‘all or nothing.’

Rules that keep our children safe are of the utmost importance. These could include everything from teaching youngsters not to touch the hot stove to teaching your school aged child the importance of obeying the laws while riding their bicycle. Children need to understand these rules are to be followed to the letter and there is no room for negotiation here.

For adolescents and teenagers, such rules should include expectations about drinking, the use of illegal drugs, or safe defensive driving. These rules are also imperative to a child’s health, well-being and safety. There should be no room for experimentation or relaxing the rules in specific social situations.

There are rules that can be fairly and equitably negotiated with your children as well. Rules regarding how many hours per week can be spent on video game playing, what time a child is expected home for dinner, what time each night homework is to be completed, or how late a teenager is allowed to stay out on weekend nights are all rules that can be discussed openly and honestly between you and your child. These should also be consistent, however. Don’t’ allow 11 p.m. one weekend night and then tell your teenager 9:30 the following weekend night when going out with the same group of friends. If your teenager broke the 11 p.m. curfew the weekend before, the consequence of losing the privilege of going out that weekend should be strictly enforced. Don’t bend the rule just because your teenager seems genuinely sorry and promises never to do it again. Consequences should be consistent, fair, and always followed through.

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Parents need to know that it is very common and normal for children under the ages of four and five to take things that do not belong to them without understanding the concept of stealing. Children need to be taught lessons in personal property and not taking something without permission. Children under the age of five are generally self-centered and their primary focus is often seeing and taking what they want. Thats why parents need to begin teaching their child the manners involved in asking permission to take, borrow or use someone else’s belongings. Parents who overlook these important lessons often receive embarrassing phone calls from their child’s school, youth programs or neighbors in regards to their child’s theft issues.

Why Do Children Steal?

There are many reasons why children may take things that do not belong to them. Parents need to become more concerned when they see a repeated pattern of stealing and are beginning to identify their child with more then one of the reasons for stealing listed below.

A child may be stealing to get attention. The attention that they may be seeking, other than the parents, may include their peers or brothers and sisters.

Children often learn from adults. When a child sees a parent take items from their work, neighbors or even stores in front of their children, are modeling the behavior of stealing. Children often learn from this example that some stealing is acceptable behavior.

A child may feel that they “found” an item that does not belong to them, and therefore they may keep the item. Parents need to teach their children that a “found” item is not necessarily theirs to keep.

A child’s basic needs may not be met. Some children who steal often feel they are lacking something that other children may have. For example: Some of your child’s friends may have pocket money to buy extra food while they are at school. The parent may not view this desire as necessary or the parent cannot afford the “pocket change” to give to their child, so the child steals the money to meet his or her needs.

Some children steal to gain control or power.

Some children steal for the thrill. This often occurs with older teens and adults. This type of stealing often becomes habitual.

Some children steal to fit in or to be accepted by their peers. This type of stealing is often caused by peer pressure.

What Can Parents Do?

Parents who do nothing to react to their child stealing are only condoning the behavior. Parents need to take steps immediately when they catch their child taking something that does not belong to him or her. Below are some parenting solutions that can be implemented for children who exhibit stealing behaviors.

Parents always need to be aware of where their children are and what they are doing.

Sit down and talk with your child about stealing. The conversation should include what is and what is not stealing. This conversation may take place, depending on your child’s reasoning abilities, between the ages of four and five. Tell your child that stealing is wrong.

Have your child agree that he or she will not touch some ones property without their permission.

Make sure that your child knows that there will be natural consequences for stealing. Examples of natural consequences include loss of friends, loss of trust and not having a good feeling about stealing.

Let your child know that there will be negative consequences from you. Your child should either return the item to the owner or pay for the item. If the child does not have money, he or she should do some extra tasks to earn the money. Hold your child accountable for the inappropriate action.

If your child is stealing items from other kids at school and the items include things that he or she needs (pencils, paper and crayons), tell your child not to take another students belonging, you will buy what is needed.

Avoid lecturing or labeling your child as a thief. Once your child realizes and agrees that the behavior was wrong the child should be given a chance to start over.

Put all items that you do not want your child to have in an area that he or she cannot get to them.

Teach your child that he or she will have a chance to earn the item in the near future. This will teach your child patience and delayed gratification.

Teenagers who steal often do so for the thrill of the experience. Get your child involved in other activities that will fill their need for excitement.

Children, especially teenagers who have habitual stealing behaviors, arrest for shoplifting or other reports of theft should see a trained professional (doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist etc.) who specializes in the area of stealing for more necessary interventions.

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We remember our Mother on Mother’s Day. That is not to say that otherwise we have forgotten her. But on Mother’s Day, we especially say thanks to our mother. This is the day to celebrate Motherhood. Let us talk about our mother and find out if one day in a year is enough to remember mother?

We are grown up today because of our mother. Right from the day we are born, mother takes us under her protection. She feeds us, gives us medicines, looks after our growth and teaches us to walk and play. Mother helps us in our school studies and fights for us with others if required. Mother saves us from every calamity. Watch a toddler in lap of her mother and you will see a deep sense of peace on his/her face. A child feels totally safe when he/she knows that mother is nearby.

We thank our friends, our co-workers and every body who helps us. What about our mother? When shall we thank her for bringing us up? When shall we thank her for the sleepless nights she had because of us/ when shall we thank her for cleaning us during our infancy? When shall we thank her for giving us birth?

A mother deserves much more than a single Mother’s day. She should be sent a Thank you ecard everyday. She should know that we realize what all she did for us and are thankful for that. No thank can ever repay mother’s debt, but at least we will make her happy.

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Do As I Say and As I Do
Children learn to imitate at a very young age. It’s how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments they watch you closely and pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life.
It’s important to be responsible, consistent and loving with your child. This also holds true for the relationship you have with your spouse, your parents, and other family members and friends that are also a part of your child’s life. Own up to mistakes when you make them, and communicate open and honestly with all family members.
It’s also important to take good care of yourself. When we’re focusing on what’s best for our child it’s easy to neglect our own needs. Your child and your family are counting on you physically and emotionally, so it’s imperative that you teach your child by example that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of them and the rest of your family. This shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well. This is an important step in teaching your child about self esteem. This may involve getting a sitter and treating yourself out to dinner and a movie, or doing another favorite activity on your own. This teaches your child that you are not only their parent, but your own person with your interests and needs, and also gives them a chance to show you how well they can do without you with them for a while.
It’s also important to nurture your relationship with your spouse. Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with one another, and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what a healthy marriage should be like.
You’ll soon see your child patterning many of his behaviors after your own. So make sure that what you say and do around your child will help build a strong sense of security and self esteem.

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Helping Your Child Deal With The Birth Of A New Sibling

If youre pregnant with your second child, its time to be thinking about how to prepare your first child to deal with not being an only child anymore. This can be a difficult transition for any child, and most, regardless of age, have some adjustments to make. Here are some suggestions to help your child be prepared.

Talk about how special it is to be a big brother or sister. Discuss the baby in terms of how important the older sibling will be in its life. This is your childs chance to be the big kid, which is usually a very appealing idea.

If youve been thinking about putting your child into a preschool program, now is the time. Dont wait until after the baby comes, or she might feel like youre trying to get rid of her. She should have time to make friends and get adjusted before the baby comes, and then she will enjoy the chance to get away.

Get her used to being away from you. If your child spends most of her waking hours in your care, its time to start having someone else take over some of this time for you. Maybe start using a sitter a little more, or sending her to play at a friends. This way, when the baby starts to demand your attention, she will be accustomed to having other caretakers.

Dont plan any major changes for her right after the baby is born. The adjustment to the baby is plenty, so dont try potty training, or changing her sleeping arrangements during this time. If you cant get these things accomplished before the baby comes, plan to put it off a few months.

Familiarize her with babies in general, particularly the amount of care they require. Talk to her about when she was a baby, and all the things that she did. Then when the new baby comes, she will have something to relate to.

Let her assist you with any baby preparations that she would like to help with, but dont force her. She might think its fun to pick out nursery items, for example.

Prepare her for the time youll be spending in the hospital, and explain what the situation will be like. If you can make it special for her, so much the better. When my daughter was born, we had arranged for my four year old sons favorite aunt and uncle to come and stay with him at our house while I was in the hospital. He was looking so forward to their visit; he hardly noticed I was away.

No matter how well you prepare your child, there is bound to be some difficulty in adjusting to the new baby. My son thought his little sister was cool, but he didnt much care for the fact that I was her Mommy, too. It takes a little time, but things work out well in the end. And, anything you can do to prepare them ahead of time will only make the transition easier.

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When parents send their children for after school programs, they take it
for granted that the child is safe. But since the number of children
participating in these activities has increased, it is necessary to look
into safety issues.

Children are vulnerable when they are outside the classes. While going or
returning, they should know the safest route to take. Many kids hang out
with their friends just after these classes. Find out ‘danger zones’ from
your neighbors and make the children aware of these.

The child has to know how to handle emergencies. It is better to discuss
various scenarios with your child. Tell her what she should do in case the
class is suddenly cancelled. Show her the first-aid kit at home and make
sure she knows whom to call in an emergency. Post any important contact
information in a place that is easily accessible to the child. If the
child will be alone at home, discuss a few unexpected things with her.
Tell her to use the safety chain ALWAYS.

Relay on your neighbors and friends when needed. Let your child know who
can be contacted at times of emergency. Ask your child to check in by
phone. Above all, always tell the child to be in a group. Visiting toilets
all alone or going home via isolated streets must be avoided.

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If you have a child who has been diagnosed with a serious birth disorder, this is an extremely trying time in your life. You have many challenges ahead of you, both physical and emotional. Right now you are probably on an emotional roller coaster ride, and are having difficulty just getting through the day. Here are some tips that will hopefully help you deal with the adjustments in your life.

Learn all that you can about your childs disorder
Its going to be painful to hear the details, but knowledge is power. You can cope better with that which you understand, so learn as much as possible. If your childs birth disorder is one that has a nationally recognized foundation, like Down syndrome, contact them. They can be a wealth of knowledge and support.

Give yourself permission to grieve
This is not what you expected, and you need to mourn the perfect, healthy baby you planned. Only when you have had ample time to mourn this loss, will you truly be able to accept and love your child the way she is.

Get help
You need physical and emotional help right now. Find someone to talk to about your feelings of anger, hurt, guilt and loss. You may be able to get the emotional help you need from a friend or relative, or you may need to speak to a professional. You may also need physical help caring for this child, depending upon the extent of the disorder. Your pediatrician should be able to help you locate special services if you require them.

Expect other people to be uncomfortable
Its not your problem, but you have to deal with it. Other people dont know what to say. You can make things easier on yourself by breaking the ice with these people. It may seem like something you shouldnt have to do, but to get your friendships back to normal as quickly as possible, you may want to take it upon yourself to contact your friends and try to make them feel comfortable. Fortunately, some people will be by your side no matter what, and you can rely on them to get you through the first few weeks.

Having a child with a birth disorder may well be the biggest challenge you ever face. Know that help is available, and take the steps necessary to find the right services and support you and your family needs.

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