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Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child. Setting clear expectations regarding what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong. If the parameters are muddled or the child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it makes for confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and line out the expectations and consequences of misbehaving or a misdeed. Make it clear that in no uncertain terms is there any room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that should such a behavior occur you intend to be firm in your discipline. Rules regarding your child’s safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon. If necessary, make a contract between parent and child. Lay it all out in black and white, in language your child can clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a good behavior chart within the contract, and for each week that goes by without any infractions being noted, a favorite or special activity might be earned. The connection between good deeds and special time with mom and/or dad might be just the currency they understand.

But all children need to understand that disciplining them is your way of teaching them what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise decisions.

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Do you know when to begin teaching your child to read?

It is never too early to begin teaching your child to read, or at least laying the foundation for early literacy skills, and it can definitely be left too late!

If you are not sure then think about this. Statistically, more American children suffer long-term life-long harm from the process of learning to read than from parental abuse, accidents, and all other childhood diseases and disorders combined. In purely economic terms, reading related difficulties cost our nation more than the war on terrorism, crime, and drugs combined.

Reading problems are a further challenge to our world by contribute significantly to the perpetuation of socio-economic, racial and ethnic inequities. However it is not just poor and minority children who struggle with reading. According to the 2002 national report card on reading by the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), most of our children (64%) are less than proficient in reading even after 12 years of our attempts to teach them.

Even without knowing these worrisome statistics we are aware that reading proficiency is essential to success–not only academically but in life. As the American Federal of Teachers states: “No other skill taught in school and learned by school children is more important than reading. It is the gateway to all other knowledge. Teaching students to read by the end of third grade is the single most important task assigned to elementary schools. Those who learn to read with ease in the early grades have a foundation on which to build new knowledge. Those who do not are doomed to repeated cycles of frustration and failure.”

More than any other subject or skill, our children’s futures are determined by how well they learn to read.

Reading is absolutely fundamental. It has been said so often that it has become meaningless but it does not negate its truth. In our society, in our world, the inability to read consigns children to failure in school and consigns adults to the lowest strata of job and life opportunities.

And just when we thought the stakes could get no higher, over the last decade, educational research findings have discovered that how well children learn to read has other, even more life-shaping, consequences. Most children begin learning to read during a profoundly formative phase in their development. As they begin learning to read, they’re also learning to think abstractly. They are learning to learn and they’re experiencing emotionally charged feelings about who they are and how well they are learning.

What does that mean? Most children who struggle with reading blame themselves. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, the process of learning to read teaches these children to feel ashamed of themselves–ashamed of their minds–ashamed of how they learn.

And the sad truth is that they have nothing to be ashamed about. As Dr. Grover Whitehurst, Director Institute of Education Sciences, Assistant Secretary of Education, U.S. Department of Education (2003) says: “Reading failure for nearly every child is not the child’s failure; it’s the failure of policy makers, the failure of schools, the failure of teachers and the failure of parents. We need to reconceptualize what it means to learn to read and who’s responsible for its success if we’re going to deal with the problem.”

Do you want to wait for the policy makers to find a solution? Do you trust that they will? Or would you rather make sure that the job is done right by taking charge yourself?

I know what my answer is because I know first-hand from witnessing my brother’s life-long difficulties what an irrevocable impact a reading struggle early in life can make. It can mark your child for life!

I’m not promising that your child can learn to read early or that they won’t experience difficulty. After all, there is a significant number of children suffering from learning disabilities. These children will struggle. However, early instruction may ease their suffering and make the struggle a bit easier to handle. At the very least you will know that you did everything you could to help your child-and your child will know that as well. That cannot be wasted effort!

And you have a head-start on every educator because you know your child–herr temperament, her strengths, and her weaknesses. You are the person best equipped to begin teaching your child.

So we come back to the central question-when should your child’s reading education begin? Traditional American Education models call for teaching a child to read between the ages of 7-9. Obviously we cannot begin teaching a newborn how to read. However, we can begin in infancy to lay the foundation for literacy which will in the end make your child a stronger reader.

Literacy is defined as an individual’s ability to read, write, and speak in English, compute, and solve problems, at levels of proficiency necessary to function on the job, in the family of the individual, and in society.

Many of the simple things we do at home with our children support the development of literacy so you are already working to make your child more literate even if you are not actively beginning the process to teach your child to read. This includes simple activities such as reading to your child, reciting nursery rhymes, and singing songs.

But what if you do want to become a more active participant? There are many things you can do and it doesn’t mean you need to invest hundreds of dollars in an expensive reading program. You don’t actually need to spend much money at all to teach your child to read at home-or at the least prepare your child well for the beginning of reading instruction in school. Most parents already have the tools you need in your home to begin today!

This is why I stress that it is never too early to begin-if you work with your child’s development and make learning fun and interesting as well as challenging.

My essential strategy as an educator is to create learning opportunities and then to get out of the way of my students so they can learn. Learning is an active experience that should fully engage the participant. I believe that when I am “teaching” that the student is only passively involved in the learning process. I see myself much more as a guide and a resource than a teacher in my classroom. I have taken this approach with my son’s education and it has been very successful.

We have various learning toys and aids in our home and there are many lessons taking place each day (at home and away) but I have never drilled him on facts or even used flashcards.

If you can find ways to make learning fun and exciting-something that your child actually wants to do with you-then begin as soon as possible.

Your child will have plenty of opportunity for dry lectures, mind-numbing repetitive drills, and boring lessons as they grow older so don’t even go there. If you can’t make learning fun and more like play than work then don’t even go there. Trust your child’s education to the professionals and hope for the best. Remember, there are many wonderful teachers out there so you child is not doomed to failure even if you don’t intervene. However, the system is not a success and it is likely that at some point during the process your child may be adversely effected by it! That’s why I take an active role in my child’s education.

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Dec
06

Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Posted by admin

Many people have a strong opinion on the importance of self-esteem in children. Some people have a negative opinion and believe too much emphasis is placed on self-esteem today. Other’s believe strongly that self-esteem development is crucial in children.

The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldn’t be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.

Parents have the most influence on their child’s self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.

Be Quick With Praise

When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often don’t get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn’t know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and “replay” these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.

Lay It On Thick

Be generous with your praise. Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as “good job”. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didn’t think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid he’d fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.

Make Them Talk The Talk

Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.

Avoid Name Calling

While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like “I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner” and reward them with specific praise “You did a great job cleaning up your room”.

Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening

Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their child’s self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.

If you follow these five methods then your child’s self esteem will grow.

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Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it’s usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, it’s because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, it’s imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.

Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it’s important that they be home from their friend’s home at a certain time or why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.

Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist’s office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can’t be late.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s house for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.

Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of understanding their world around them.

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Nov
09

10 Ways To Make Reading Fun

Posted by admin

Learning to read can be a challenging adventure for some children. It seems that everyone from a child’s teacher to Mom and Dad and even Grandma is excited and waiting for the child to learn to read. All the pressure and expectations from the adults can sure put a damper on the excitement for the child. This loss of excitement can lead to a child who loses the desire to read. If we as parents can find ways to make reading fun and enjoyable, our children will be more willing to sit down and read a book together.

Here are a few ideas you can do to make reading fun for your child.

Popcorn Reading
This is a fun way for a child to be able to read the words he/she knows and pass on the words that are causing frustration. While reading a book together, each of you take a turn reading aloud. When the one who is reading says the word popcorn, it is the other persons turn to read.

Reading Buddy
Pair your reader up with an older reading buddy and have them read a book out loud together. We all have had times where an explanation of something made more sense coming from one of our peers or a sibling. This gives you child the opportunity to practice reading without an adults watchful eye causing possible nervousness.

Highlight Heaven
Grab an older book and a highlighter and have your child highlight every word one the page that he/she can read. After all the words your child knows are highlighted on the page, take a moment and have your child look and see how many words he/she can actually read. This is quite a confidence booster.

Flashlight Reading
Before your child is too tired at the end of the day, take some time and read in dark room. Take a flashlight with you and read the book by flashlight. Little boys especially like this one.

Secret Hideout
What child hasn’t built a fort at one time or another? If you don’t already have a fort in your house or outside in the yard, help your child create one. It can a blanket fort, a plywood fort outside, a tree house, or even a simple under to bed fort. (Just make sure you both can fit…being able to get out once you’ve gotten in is helpful too!) Bring your child’s favorite reading book, get comfortable and read away.

Reading Corner
Make a reading corner somewhere in your home. Let your child be a part of decorating it and picking just the right spot to place it. Add some bean bags or pillows, maybe a favorite poster on the wall or even some family pictures.

Take a break and just read to your child sometimes
No explanation needed here.

Picture Detective
Have your child flip through a book and look at all the pictures and tell you what he/she thinks is going to happen in the story. Read the story and see how close he/she was.

Pop-up word
Pick one word that your child particularly has a hard time with and every time your child reads that word, both of you stand up. This will help him/her remember the word because an action is associated with it. This works particularly well with kinesthetic learners. (A child who wants to move all the time and likes to touch and feel everything.)

Star of the Story
Have you ever seen a personalized story book where your child’s name is printed in the story? This is a unique way to get your reluctant reader excited about a book. In these kinds of books, your child’s name and the name of his/her friends are printed in the story-line, making your child the star of his/her very own book! How motivating is that? He/she will have to read the book to find out what kind of adventure he/she will be going on!

To learn more about personalized story books, click the link below.

Sometimes all it takes to make reading fun is some imagination and a change of scenery.

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