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Mommy & Baby: Weight Gain & Failure To Thrive

A guide to appropriate weight-gain and what to look for if you suspect failure-to-thrive:

Weight Gain:

Birth 2 weeks of age
 Regain birth weight plus some
2 weeks 3 months of age
 Two pounds per month or one ounce per day
4 6 months of age
 One pound per month or one-half ounce per day (should double birth weight by 6 months)
One year of age
 2.5 to 3 times her birth weight

Failure to Thrive:

There is a difference between slow weight gain and failure to thrive. With slow weight gain, the gain is consistent. With failure to thrive, you will see a baby who continues to lose weight after 10 days of life, does not regain her birth weight by three weeks of age, or gains at an unusually slow rate beyond the first month of life. Things to watch for from the mothers and babys side include:

Mothers side
 Improper nursing technique (poor latch-on, etc.)
 Nature or lifestyle (not enough sleep, liquids, nutritional foods, etc.)
 Poor release of milk (related to let-down)
 Feeding too frequently (this can give the baby an abundance of foremilk and a lack of hindmilk; the latter of which is nutritionally and calorie rich)
 Feeding too infrequently (being a slave to the clock)
 Not monitoring growth signs
 Physical nurturing, holding, and cuddling

Infants side
 Weak sucking
 Improper sucking
o Tongue-thrusting, pushing the nipple out of her mouth
o Protruding tongue, her tongue will form a hump in her mouth, interfering with latching on
o Tongue-sucking, she sucks her own tongue and not on the nipple
 An underlying medical problem (if you suspect something, talk to your pediatrician immediately)

Getting the help you need

Lactation consultants can be very helpful in resolving issues related to latching on or inverted nipples, both of which can cause a problem with nursing. Allow the consultant to observe your baby nursing and note if there are problems in position, latching, or something else. Do not permit the consultant to dissuade you from your flexible routine if thats what youve decided to do for your family. Remember: if flexible routines were unhealthy, NICUs wouldnt use them for the most vulnerable of babiespreemies.

If you determine that your nursing difficulties cannot be solved or are more stressful on you as mommy than what you need, do not feel guilty about switching to a bottle. It is more important that your baby receive nutrition to grow and thrive than to fit someone elses ideal of motherhood.

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These are two topics that strike fear in the hearts of all parents: what will happen when my baby starts teething? How will he respond when its time to wean him (from the breast)?

Teething

Teething is not a disease, but a condition of growth. It shouldnt be dreaded, but simply seen as an accomplishment of a healthy, growing child. Most babies begin teething between 6-8 months of age, but as in all children, it may vary wildly. Some babies are known to teethe as early as 2 months or as late as 14 months. Pediatric dentists agree that the longer it takes a baby to teethe, the stronger and healthier the teeth are. Additionally, the later the teeth take to arrive, the later they will fall out and be replaced by permanent teeth.

Teething should not affect nursing in any way, unless your baby begins chomping down on your nipple. While this is painful and ones natural response would be to yelp, if you can stay calm and remove him from your breast while saying, No, no! you will have a much better response and less biting later on.

Some babies will experience fussiness, irritability, increased salivation, and a slightly raised temperature as they teethe. A proactive dose of infant Tylenol will help greatly, especially before bedtime.

Weaning

Weaning is defined by the process in which parents offer food supplements in place of or in addition to mothers milk. This process begins the moment parents offer a bottle of formula or when their baby first tastes cereal. It is a gradual process.

When weaning from breastfeeding, its typically easier to drop the late-afternoon feeding first. Replace each feeding dropped with six to eight ounces of formula or milk, depending on the babys age.

Weaning from the bottle typically begins with your babys arrival at his first birthday. Again, it is a gradual process. Most moms wean straight to a sippy cup with great success. As you replace each bottle (one at a time, though) with a sippy full of milk, be patient. It will take time for your child to catch on to drinking from one of these cups, and you dont want to unduly frustrate him in the process.

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As a parent, you have the opportunity to set the tone in your home based on the style of parenting you choose. You can choose child-centered parenting or family-centered parentingthe differences will be discussed here.

 Child-centered Parenting

o Intensely pursue the childs happiness, taking great strains to avoid discomfort or emotional stress for the child.

o The child receives what she wants when she wants it: no delay, no waiting.

These concepts might not sound too bad, but what happens when Mom is sick? Or when Mom & Dad want to leave the baby with a sitter? There is little-to-no freedom in this parenting planand the baby will not grow in to a child who understands delayed gratification or how the world works. Additionally, this sets a child up for a bad case of me-ismother people will not matter to her. Her goals and needs are paramount to everyone elses goals and needs, and the ability to look outward and understand being part of a team will be compromised.

 Family-centered Parenting

o Keeps the babys needs met, but within the appropriate context of the family unit.

o The child enters in to a team-setting; she is not the center of the universe, but part of the family-team.

These concepts might not seem very different from the child-centered approach to parenting, but the results of the two methods are starkly different. Parents have the freedom to meet their childs needs and look ahead to developing skills and abilities, as they arent catering to every fleeting whim or fancy a child might express. Sitters are okay for the family, as the parents will take time out to date and be intentional with each other. Because a baby raised in a family-centered plan understands that she is part of a team, she will learn we-ism, not me-ism. She will consider others as she grows and how her goals and needs can be met within the framework of a teamwithout compromising the others on the team.

You may know people on either side of these parenting styles who go overboard. Thats not what Im advocating here; a balance must be achieved. Remember these things:

 Life doesnt stop because you have a baby

 Date your spouse

 Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before your baby came along

 Invite some friends over for food and fellowship

 At the end of each day, spend 15 minutes sitting with your spouse, discussing the days events

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Regardless of which feeding philosophy you follow, you cannot add to what nature has left out. The anxiety created by the fear of failure (and in some cases, the fear of judgment from others) is a contributor in its own right to milk deficiency.

In most cultures, up to 5% of women during peacetime and 10% during wartime are not able to produce adequate milk for their infants. Some mothers experience sufficiency that wanes to insufficiency by the third month. This can take place in spite of having all the correct pieces of the puzzle in place: appropriate rest and nutrition, good latch, nursing frequently enough, and sufficient support from family.

If you question your milk supply at any time, observe the following:

 Is your baby routinely fussy after every feeding?

 Is he having difficulty going the appropriate duration between feedings?

 How is the stress-level in your life (this can affect the taste and production of milk) and in your home (which can affect your infant directly)?

If youve eliminated what you can and youre still unsure, consider the following:

 If you question your supply in the first 2 months, consider feeding on a strict 2.5 hour routine for 5-7 days. If your milk production increases (demonstrated by your baby being more content and sleeping better), work your way back to a 3-hour minimum. If no improvement occurs, supplement with a formula to give you peace of mind and your baby more calories.

 If you question your milk supply in the 4th month, try adding a few extra feedings to your daytime routine. Also, consider your caloric intake as mommyif you are dieting, you should stop. This can adversely affect your milk supply. Additionally, you could step back to a strict 3-hour routine and then gradually work your way back to where you were (probably a 4-hour routine by this point) and see how things go. If you have no improvement after several days, supplement with formula.

The four-day test involves adding one to two ounces of formula after each nursing period. Then express your milk with an electric breast pump, doing 10 minutes per side. Keep track of how much extra you are producing. If your milk production is plentiful, the problem lies with your baby. He is either not latching on properly or is a lazy nurser.

If additional stimulation doesnt occur from pumping and youve reviewed everything else, then you may be among the 5-10% of women who cant provide a sufficient milk supply. Learn and discern what is best for your family (nursing or bottle-feeding) and make no excuses for your decision. It is your family!

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Juggling children and work can be a challenge, whether you work outside the home or you are a work from home mom, but, in some ways, work from home moms face more challenges than moms who work outside the home. After all, when youre in a traditional office, you dont need to worry that a coworker will burst into the room and scream Mommy, he took my doll, just as you are beginning an important conference call.

So how does a work from home mom manage to keep her children happy and busy while she is trying to get her job done?

First, you need to let your children know when you are not to be disturbed. Set up a schedule that includes playtime and work time and remind them that if they dont disturb you while you are working, you will be able to give them your complete attention during playtime. As a reminder, use a do not disturb sign on your office door when you absolutely cannot be interrupted.

Of course, it is easy for your children to behave while you are working if they have something to do. Fill a box with games and toys that can only be used while mom is working. Make sure you add a new puzzle, coloring book, or small toy on a frequent basis, to keep your children interested.

If you dont work on the phone, it is a bit easier to keep your children content when you are working. Set up an office space just for them, complete with a small table and chairs. Fill a lunch box with some of their favorite snacks and a few juice boxes each morning, so you arent inundated with requests for food and drinks. Add a childrens magazine, simple puzzles, coloring books, and art supplies. When your children are able to work along side you, the number of interruptions should decrease drastically.

For moms who really need peace and quiet, but have small children, a mothers helper can be a great solution. Since you will still be in the house, you do not need a fully trained baby sitter to help out. Instead, look for a teen who has little babysitting experience, but likes kids. She will probably be happy to watch your children while you work for the cost of a few good after school snacks and a few dollars.

Finally, sometimes its just not possible to keep your children quiet and content while you are working. If your child is ill, you may just need to decide to take the day off. After all, the reason you are working from home is to have the flexibility to be there for your children when they need you!

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Planning a Baby Shower is not an easy task! Planning and organizing a baby shower is very complicated. In this article, Ill try to help you break down the different elements of organizing and planning baby showers.

When should I hold my baby shower?
A lot of parents these days are waiting until after the baby is born to hold a baby shower. It gives guests the advantage of knowing what type of clothing and gifts to buy for the baby. It gives the new mother a chance to show off the baby to a large number of people, reducing the steady stream of visitors to the house right after the baby is born.

If you dont want to wait until after the baby is born, then generally a month or two before the mom’s due date is a good time to have the party. You don’t want to hold the shower too close to baby’s due date in case he or she makes an early arrival!

Who should I invite to my baby shower?
Close friends and family members, the parents friends, co-workers, godparents, and others you feel the parents-to-be would enjoy having at the shower. Try to refrain from inviting people you have not had contact with in a long time simply for more presents though, its considered tacky. Invitations should be sent out 2-3 weeks before the shower. Give guests time to plan to be free that day and shop, but not so much time that they forget about the party.

Can I invite men to the baby shower?
Yes! Men are now allowed in the delivery room, why not let them in the baby shower as well?

What about a theme for my baby shower?
There are a lot of different ways to hold a baby shower. Let your imagination roam and choose something fun but not to strenuous for the mommy-to-be. Choose the kind of party you can do best. Accept your time, budget, and equipment limitations. Coordinate your invitations, decorations, party favors, and food. Create a mood! Create your mood through lighting, music, and decorations.

Will there be games at my baby shower?
Games at baby showers are optional, but always a fun addition and a good ingredient to a successful baby shower. You can find more information about baby shower games at http://www.babyport.info

Will there be food at the baby shower?
Avoid time consuming dinners. Choose a menu with which you are familiar. Serving a full meal is not required, but certainly snacks, hors d’oeuvres, cakes, and pies are a welcome addition. Ive even seen where the guests each bring a dessert or snack plate. Check your supplies way ahead of time. Linen, silver, tables, dishes. Always overestimate the amount of food you will need. Make sure you have chafing dishes or hot plates. Clean and cook ahead of time. Do not wait until the last minute. Plan seating that will encourage lively conversation. When serving buffet style, be sure you have enough tables or lap trays.

What kind of invitations do I send out for my baby shower?
There are way too many options to discuss here, but http://www.babyport.info/33231.php has several options you can choose from.

What about party favors and decorations for my baby shower?
This is another area where there are so many options. A simple search on the web for baby shower favors and decorations will yield a ton of resources, but if you want to make it easier and dont have time to sort through the entire net, go to http://www.babyport.info/40812.php for help.

Other Baby Shower Tips

Buy camera film. Have someone else at the party be in charge of taking pictures. Chances are, you will be busy. If you get a lot of great shots, you can make a memento album for the parents later.

Don’t forget the guest bathroom. Add extra touches like scented soap and lotion. Keep tissue and feminine items in an obvious place.

Pay attention to your guests. Know when they are ready to move on to the next phase of the party.

It can be a little awkward at first. A few close friends arriving early can create an instant party buzz.

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Baby Shower Theme – How to Find the Most Creative Baby Shower Themes that Please the Mom-to-be

So, you need a special unique baby shower theme to make your party different, huh?

A baby shower isn’t just about helping parents-to-be get ready for their little arrival, but about fun, encourage and memories for years to come. Why not use an unique baby shower theme to piece together a perfect party time for every invited person?

You can type “baby shower theme ideas”(”baby shower themes” or “theme party idea” and “party theme”) into internet search engines, such as Google, MSN Search and Yahoo! Search. The smart spider will lead you to the most relevant web sites for those coolest theme ideas.

Also, there are tons of ideas from party handbooks and experiences you already learned from other theme based parties, such as kids’ birthday parties and bridal showers.

Somehow, you can’t jump out from the endless mind bogging for the best baby shower theme ideas. I guess you just get into the wrong direction.

However creative you could be, don’t forget your best friend is about to be a Mommy, and this is the solely reason you want to throw her a baby shower! So chose the baby shower theme more personal to the mom-to-be, than yourself!

Before you run for the best theme idea, ask a few questions about the expecting Mommy:

* What does she like and dislike?
* Does she business like, shy, formal, friendly?
* Is the she expecting a girl, boy? Twins or More?
* How many people she’d like to invite?
* Does she plan to invite kids?
* Will she like to have her husband and other guys show up?
* Do you have a co-host? Does she have any idea?

More questions you ask the mom-to-be, more theme ideas come out with the answers themselves, automatically! And you may not be aware of this: The best baby shower theme lies somewhere in the depths of your imagination.

You can setup a ladies-only tea party in your house at a Sunday afternoon if the mom-to-be only feel comfortable when she stay with a small group of people. You can also throw a Hollywood glamour baby shower for parents-to-be who are super movie fans (so are their closest friends including you).

Or what if she is a second-time mom and her elder kids are Pooh lover? Phew, it couldn’t be more exciting than having a Winnie the pooh baby shower and arranging everything in the ways that Pooh-like.

And if you’re inviting the new daddy and his buddies to your party, the male guests would love to enjoy a western style BBQ in your backyard with beers and country music.

No matter how you plan the shower party, a good theme always serves as your inspiration when you’re picking the location and time for your baby shower.

You can use theme based baby shower ideas run through the invitations, decorations, games and food, especially in preparing a baby shower cake to fit the party setting. When you’re preparing the baby shower supplies, gifts and favors, the shower theme will practically tell you the best ideas to pick up.

In fact, baby shower theme can really make planning baby showers a snap.

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How To Balance Working At Home And Raising Your Kids

Most work at home moms start home based businesses because they want to be home with their little ones. And I was no different: I left a great corporate job to be around my two children.

But then, you put a lot of work in your business, and it works! Yes, you are getting orders, and making some money, but the flip side is that you dont have as much time for your little ones. How do you then balance your time? Do you still put your children first? Or do you go for the “just a minute honey!” line and hope they can’t tell time?

It happened to me: one day, during my first Christmas season in business, I was busy with an order for 150 gift baskets. It was hard work, and stress was running high. The deadline was approaching, and I had no time to stop to even straighten the room.

There were boxes with product everywhere, there were empty boxes, and there was gourmet food everywhere: a true disaster area! And just then, my 4 year old daughter (now 11) came to me with her big brown eyes in tears: “Mommy, I am bored and I am lonely… Can we play a little?” What could I do? I was alone at home with her, and if I stopped to play, there was no way I could finish my order in time.

So, I thought quickly, on my feet, of how I could play with her and work at the same time. And I came up with the idea of building her an office right next to mine out of used/damages boxes. She was ecstatic! And SHE did all the work! I told her where to go and get the boxes, and made room for her by me desk. She built a desk, improvised a chair, and even had items to sell in her store.

With that in place, I was able to continue my work uninterrupted most of the time. She loved watching and copying me: when I picked up the phone to talk to a customer, she picked up her imaginary phone. When I needed to make a basket, she made one of her own. When I calculated the price for my baskets, she picked up a pencil and calculated her own prices.

In time, her office evolved: the old, damaged boxes were replaced with actual wooden drawers. Inventory I wasn’t able to sell became her store’s inventory. She even got an adding machine, and a couch. Now, her office is her favorite spot to play. And it’s not just an office anymore: it’s an entire building with different shops. She has a restaurant, a bath and body store, a book store, and a toy store.

The store has helped her in many ways:

- she learned about maintaining and ordering inventory
- she learned about phone etiquette
- she learned addition and subtraction
- she learned organization skills
- she learned to be creative (little bits and pieces of ribbon, irregular baskets, empty containers have become great assets to her business)

Could YOU be using your business to teach your kids business basics while having fun? I am sure you could. Just take some time and think how your situation can be used to plant some business seeds in your child.

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How Mothers Can And Should Really Enjoy A Hot Bubble Bath

Okay I admit it I love to take hot relaxing bubble baths. Nothing beats soaking in a tub and reading a good book at the same time. I usually skip the glass of wine, I am much more apt to have a glass of diet coke instead.

Before motherhood I would often take my luxurious soak in the evenings. But as all good mother’s know, if the kids are home there is no real relaxing. They have you cornered and will often want to chat or have untold questions to ask when you are in the tub. After all you can give them your undivided attention at this time. Plus it is always fun to play with the bubbles when mommy is in the tub.

Don’t get me wrong I cherish all the chats my daughter and I have had while I was soaking, and we will both always have fond memories of her putting bubbles on my head and then erupting into giggles. I wouldn’t replace those memories for anything, even the privacy to enjoy my bath. But once in awhile I thought it would be nice to treat myself to the luxury.

Now that my daughter just started school I decided to occasionally take my long soaks in the late morning after getting all the housework done. Well maybe not getting all of it done, but all that I am going to do. Life is too short to worry about every little dust bunny and cobweb in my opinion. Plus if you let them build up a bit you feel such a sense of accomplishment when you eventually get around to them. That is my philosophy anyway.

But just like telemarketers always call at supper time, someone always calls or the doorbell rings when I am in the tub. Not only do these interruptions ruin the relaxation they sure don’t make fond memories that I will later want to reminisce about.

So I have came to the decision that I will go back to evening bubble baths, after all there will be a time in the future when she will be too grown up to want to talk to mom while she is in the tub and to giggle over the bubbles. I think I will cherish and embrace every memory that I can, because they grow up way too fast.

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Dear Mom,

I try to leave my child and the minute I walk out of the room, she starts crying or screaming for me. Please help this gone crazy mom of how I can help my baby let me leave her for just a little bit. I think she has toddler separation anxiety but I just want to know how to overcome this.

Thanks,
Carol

Carol,

It is normal for your baby to be going through what they are going through. For nine months, they were attached to us 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We were their lifeline and they have to learn their independence from us. Their whole mentality knows they are sensing this whole new freedom from mom, but yet they have reservations about beginning new things. The mom can help teach them independence by taking baby steps and not trying to separate from them without building up the process. You may ask, what steps can we take?

Start out small. Let them play in the living room as you go to the next room (room needs to be in eye view) to do a certain task as folding clothes. Make sure you are keeping eye contact with them and reassuring that mom is right here. Speak in positive, upbeat words. The first time may not work, but just keep repeating yourself and do it over and over until they are fine with you being in the next room.

Stretch the time being gone. When dad or another caregiver comes home, go and take a shower or soak in a nice bubble bath. Reassure the child you will be back. Never sneak away from the child as this will leave a bad coping skill with her and think you are never coming back. Give it 15 or 20 minutes and show your presence to the baby. Hug her and let her know you missed her, but will always return when mommy goes. After you do this a few times and she gets used to the ide of you being gone for that short amount of time, try going to the store for a longer period of time. You can continue to stretch each trip until you feel comfortable with the time you are being gone, for example if you are trying to build up to a night out of town with your signifcant other.

By taking things slowing, it will help you and your child overcome toddler separation anxiety with much less tears, heartbreak and stress. The baby will continue to grow her independence from you and will soon love her new found freedom of having playtime with dad, grandma or grandpa, or other special friend.

Hang in there mom it will get better and know other moms are going through the same thing as you right now.

Fellow Mom,
Jen

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