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Becoming a parent, especially for the first time, is an exciting but scary experience. You’ll be entering a whole new world where different rules apply, and no matter how prepared you think you are, there’s usually little you’ve experienced before which you can draw on when making the choices and snap decisions that will become a major part of your life once the little one arrives.

It’s for this reason that there’s an abundance of parenting advice available which you can use to inform your decisions. There are print magazines packed with useful advice, web sites with tons of articles to peruse, not to mention the well meaning but sometimes irritating advice and opinions of family and friends. Despite all this information being available, most parents are terrified that they’re somehow not up to the job and will do it wrong, and herein lies the most common parenting mistake of all: not trusting in your own judgment and instincts.

However intimidating the prospect is of having ultimate responsibility for the nurture of a new and precious life, you should be in no doubt that you have exactly the skills and capabilities you’ll need over the coming years.

Think about it. As human beings, we’re all parenting specialists. In evolutionary and genetic terms, our whole existence is geared towards producing and nurturing offspring, and over the millions of years that the human species has been developing we’ve become generally incredibly good at it. You only need to watch a mother and child together to know that however difficult the process may seem, bringing up a child is the most natural thing in the world, and something for which each and every parent to be has the necessary skills to make a success of it if they make it their number one focus.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should ignore all advice. After all, the experience handed down from generation to generation is absolutely vital and is how civilization developed in the first place. Not one of us has all the answers, we all need input from others in all kinds of situations.

But trust in your own capabilities as a parent above all else, and trust in your own ability to make the best of all the advice and support that’s out there. That way you’ll definitely be the best parent your child could ever have.

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I speak Swedish and my husbands native language is English. When we had our two children, we had no doubt that we wanted to raise them with equal access to both languages. Now, years later, when Ive made promoting multilingual child-raising not just my avocation, but my vocation as well, people ask me for the straight story, warts and all. What is the difference, raising bilingual children? What do you wish you knew before you got started?
Its clear to most of us that speaking multiple languages is a good thing, and learning multiple languages in the early years is a nearly effortless means to fluency. Your multilingual child will have a head start in schools during a time when more and more of them are requiring a foreign language. And once your kid knows two languages, the move to three, or four is much easier.
Counter-intuitively, the effects of growing up bilingually include superior reading and writing skills in both languages, as well as better analytical, social, and academic skills. Parents who are themselves involved in high level careers are already well aware that professional prospects abound for those with fluency in multiple languages. So, that all sounds well and good, but what are the real drawbacks?
1 Delay. Multilingual children tend to speak a little later than their peers. Although there is no solid scientific evidence to suggest a delay in speech, anecdotally there is a real sense among parents that multilinguals start talking three to six month later than monolingual children. If you think about it, it makes sense that a child learning two or more language systems might take more time, since they are actually learning twice as many words. But rest assured, even if your child did not walk at nine months, eventually he ended up walking just as well as those precocious ones. The same thing holds true for language, even when you are talking about more than one. Guaranteed!
2 Mixing. Children learning two languages often slip back and forth between them, mixing up their words. This can disturb the parents, but can be even more alarming to the uninitiated. No worries. This tendency will pass once the child has built a large enough vocabulary — around the age of four or five. Remember monolingual three year olds often struggle to find the right word, and for that matter, adults dont always find it easy to express themselves effectively. In some ways, the multilingual kid has an advantage — if he cant think of the correct word in Vietnamese, for example, then he can say it in English. While the rest of us are speechless.
3 Effort. Perhaps the most easily overlooked drawback to taking the multilingual path is that it requires more effort on the part of the parents. Raising a multilingual child is a commitment. Much like piano lessons, you can’t expect your little one to be a virtuoso overnight. Language learning is a long-term investment in your child and will require that you are able to provide enough language exposure. At times, youll probably need to boost the second language and offer some extra encouragement. Youll need the persistence required to keep your family language rules as consistent as possible. But, if you can keep faith for the first four or five years while a solid language foundation is put in place, things get easier. Incidentally, the multilingual second child is a breeze, if your first child was raised that way. Your first will end up doing a lot of the work for you by simply being a natural chatterbox.
There’s no doubt that multilingual children have more advantages, but it can feel a bit overwhelming to someone already struggling with diapers and feeding schedules; however, I have yet to meet a single parent who regretted the decision. But, the appreciation from your child, as usual, is probably another 20 years out.

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Raising Bilingual Children: Is It Too Late To Start Now?

After we talked, Ive spoken nothing but French to my one year old for close to seven weeks now. All of his new words are French, and from what I can tell he understands me completely. Not even two months into her campaign to raise her two children speaking French as well as English, Sheilagh Margot Riordan in Forida has noticed a dramatic difference in the progress between her two children: My three and a half year old is much trickier. Even though I speak only French to her, she replies in English, but I guess that she understands about 70% of everything I say. Frankly, Sheilagh worries that its already too late for her over-the-hill three-year-old to become a fluent bilingual.

In our culture it sometimes feels that if you didnt spring for ballet lessons at two or violin at three, its all over. While theres no doubt that the optimal moment to start learning languages is at birth, its not at all impossible to achieve fluency later in life. The more language interaction you provide, the more dramatic the progress, and the easier for the child. Even older children are still kids, and theyll
remain chatty and unhampered by self-consciousness. Still, transitioning into multilingualism will require motivation; here are several tried-and-true tips.

You know how when you announce that its bedtime, your kid says, Why? Youll get the same reaction to your new language program. “Why do I have to say it in Korean if I know how say it in English already?” This is a fair question, and the answer needs to be either one of necessity, fun, or flattery. Not much else will fly. Here are some possible answers: Because I/granny/everyone else here only speak Korean. This book/this game/this song is in Korean. Because you did it sooo well yesterday. So you can teach it to baby Ethan when he is a big boy like you. So you and Greg can have your own secret language.

After the explanation your next step will be to speak only in the minority language yourself (or nanny, or whoever is your childs primary language source). When you get confusion and glazed looks, translate. And, be reasonable; accept replies in the primary language when you first start out.

• When your child answers back in the community language, say “Yes,” and then repeat the sentence in the minority language.
• If you know your child is able to say a particular word, but is struggling to remember it, jog her memory by providing the first syllable.
• Be careful not to dampen her enthusiasm. Dont make speaking the second language an inflexible rule or something that becomes onerous.
• Youll just inspire revolution in the ranks. You might require adherence to the language rules youve set up if you know she has the vocabulary just as you demand pleases and thank yous. For example, when youre child is asking for a glass of milk, you can require that she ask for it in the minority language. But if she’s excited about telling you what happened at the circus, just listen, and then repeat it back in the second language. That way, you provide her the missing vocabulary in a positive
  way.
• And, as always, praise endlessly. Even when you are providing translations or the child has just issued sixteen grammatical errors in a four-word sentence. In fact, a child simply doesnt understand if you try to correct her before the age of three. Instead, just repeat the words correctly (a process known as modeling). Alternatively, you can make a joke and say, “Oops, that came out wrong!” Laugh and provide the right way of saying it, so you keep it playful rather than corrective.

Countless parents have asked me: “So now, how do we now stay firm with our new language system?” Once the child has the vocabulary to understand the second language, sticking to the language strategy is essential — if you dont, youre back to square one and the community language! Just think of the things you could never let your child do, even if she begs, whines, and tantrums: things such as riding in a car without a seatbelt, not brushing her teeth, or crossing the street by herself. Dont negotiate about using the language any more than you do about these things, and she will get the picture eventually — despite the occasional earful. Give it at least six months, and your persistence will be richly rewarded.

Sheilagh says that she realizes her trouble is well worth it and has stopped worrying about beginning too late: Instead of looking at the things I should have done (speak French since birth), I am looking at the great achievements we have made so far.

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If youre about to have a baby, no doubt the subject of circumcision for a boy baby has entered your mind. Circumcision is a personal choice but, of course, its one that youre making for another person- so you tend to feel a fair amount of pressure to make a good decision. Here are some things to think about that might make your choice easier.

In the US, the majority of boys are circumcised, though the numbers are declining somewhat. In other parts of the world, most non-Jewish boys are not circumcised. The difference seems to be almost entirely cultural. There is really no right or wrong answer here, but I think one good guideline is like father, like son. The father is most likely the person who will teach the boy how to handle his personal hygiene in this area, so taking Dads personal situation into account might be a good way to make the decision. My husband is circumcised, as is our oldest son, but our younger son is not. He was not circumcised when we adopted him at ten months, and we chose not to add the trauma of circumcision to his life, considering all the other adjustments he had at the time. My husband had to do some research on the subject to feel prepared to teach our son the proper care of an uncircumcised penis. Our son is six, and at this point, has never asked about the difference between his penis and his older brothers and Dads.

One thing to consider about circumcision it is a decision you need to make early on. Part of the reason we chose not to have our younger son circumcised was the fact that, at ten months old, it would have been much more physically painful than if he had been circumcised as a newborn. Im sure its no walk in the park at any age, but do realize that if you dont have your son circumcised right away, it might not be wise to change your mind a few months down the road.

A final note about circumcision- not all penises are the same. Some boys have much more foreskin than others. If your son has only a small amount of foreskin, your doctor may refer to this as a natural circumcision, and recommend that you not have a circumcision performed, unless it is for religious reasons. This means that your sons foreskin is not likely to cause hygiene issues, nor will it be prone to infection, as are some uncircumcised penises.

Its wise to talk to your doctor before you make a decision about circumcision. Its a decision that you need to feel good about, and worth the time it takes to sort out the facts.

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Teeny Weenie Pregnancies

How many times does a parent have to remind their child about contraception,and sexually transmitted diseases. What does it take for a parent to be heard. In some unfortunate cases children just do not listen and choose to ignore the best advice any parent can give to their child.

It is hard for a parent to see their child having a child. Unwanted pregnancies in teens, a sad situation but the damage is done so accept the situation and start to face up to responsibilities

Matters intend to get out of hand by leaving it to late to consult a doctor or talking to your parents. You could be putting yourself and that of your unborn child in danger. If you have any inclinations that you are pregnant seek help right away.

What is mum and dad going to say may be causing you unnecessary worry. I can not say that they will be happy with the news you are about to spring on them. But remember at the end of the day this is your mum and what do mums do, they care and give their support.

No doubt those famous words will be spoken in a raised voice like, I told you this would happen and how could you have been so stupid? But she is right, mum’s advice is always right when it comes down to protecting her kids.

After coming to terms and accepting that she is going to be a grandmother the situation eases.
Believe me when I say if ever you needed anyone to give you support throughout this teenage pregnancy, it is your mum so talk to her.

Contraception is about helping to stop unwanted pregnancies also STDs are prevented by the use of a condom. Which would be the worst an unwanted teen pregnancy or a STD. Let me tell you they both come with a life sentence of heartache and pain, no more partying it stops here?

Come on girls and boys this is the 21st century there is no need to destroy your childhood. I am not saying that every teen pregnancy has not worked out for some young mums today, but for a great many it has ruined their lives. Do you want to raise a baby, especially one that has ruined your life. Will you ever love that infant in the way you should? Sadly many teen mums don’t so the innocent baby has to suffer.

Most teenage mothers end up raising their child on their own all because daddy is still growing up too.

Come on girls and boys think of the consequences.If you choose to ignore all the golden rules then you have to accept the consequences.

Please have yourself checked over by a doctor early to make sure that there are no complications. I do not wish to frighten you, just make you aware that teen mums that have not fully reached puberty themselves may need extra care and attention.

People who deal with these type of situations are very understanding and compassionate regarding whatever maybe troubling you about your pregnancy or any STD concerns..

If you find that talking on the matter embarrasses you, then ask a friend to go with you and let them do the talking, and if all fails in getting you to speak with some one.

Then consider the next time you recieve your pocket money to buy a condom not a cornet.

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Have you planned a baby shower and are struggling to meet all costs due to the bank balance being at an all time low then remember you are under no obligation to donate party favors. No doubt you want your baby shower to be a success and if that means the giving of gift favors then so be it. It can be a MISSION to create your own homemade baby shower party favor ideas but a worthwhile one. By making the gifts you get the best of both worlds – the guest will receive a favor and you claim satisfaction for holding with tradition in a cost effective way.

Homemade ideas for baby shower party favors to assist you in your quest to help save the pennies.

1.How are your cooking skills in kitchen. Canyou bake all well and good if not loan a book from the library for this idea? Baby cut out chocolate chip cookies baked by you will go down well – all tasty edibles can be wrapped in special wrappers. A nice way to wrap this these gift favors is to take clear crackly cellophane paper and neatly wrap around your baked baby confectionary and tie with a bow. Cut the ribbon in to thin streamers to hang alongside the bow this will make the presentation of your gift more appealing.

2 Baby containers like baby bottles and booties filled to the brim with assorted sugar coated candies or colourful jelly beans are a nice gesture. If the end results of this idea looks like something is missing then do not fret reach for the ribbon and tie cute little bows around them.

3. Very cheap as well as pleasurable to make are candles. Easy to follow instructions come with candle making kits. If making your own is out of the question then purchase less expensive scented votive candles. Wax sticks of this nature come in sets making them a bargain buy. Decorate the candles with ribbons, just remember to remove if the candles are to be used. Keep guests guessing the gender of the baby. Give your party gift favor candle in the appropriate colour of babys sex this will tell them that the baby is a boy or a girl. Do this towards the endi of the baby shower so as to put the guests out of suspense.

4. This will plant the seed in your way of thinking on what to give, this gift will not cost much but mean as much. Cultivate plant seeds before the event and give them as your thank you party gift favor. Bedding plants in different holders other than a plant pot will make the present unique. Plants can be potted into useful containers like mugs vases and goblets of which can be cleaned and used as ornaments in the home. Items as such can be picked up at garage sales or car boots.

5. Baby bath items are always warmly welcomed, items such as baby soap/oil, baby lotion and shampoo is a nice way to say thank you for attending my baby shower. Adults as big as they are love to use baby soaps because of how gentle it is on the skin. So you see we are all just big babies at heart. Bath accessories like duck shaped sponges, and face flannels can be donated.

6. Baby bibs or hankies with babys name or initials embroidered on is another way to personalize your homemade favor. It is not IMPOSSIBLE for you to create little personal baby gift favor ideas of your own. So there you have it MISSION IMPOSSIBLE accomplished.

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Most mothers bottle feed their baby and there is no doubt that breastfeeding can sometimes be difficult to get started, but if a mother persists, she finds that it is a lot less bother than bottle feeding. Breastfeeding is actually less stressful and less work than bottle-feeding.

Mothers who give up breastfeeding, state that it is because of the discomfort or embarrassment they feel. Both of these reasons are understandable, but they can both be overcome. All it takes is patience.

A mother can avoid the pain of sore nipples by making sure that her baby is latched on properly. This means that the baby sucks on the breast in the correct position. The nipple should be placed well in to the babys mouth. It is the areola (the dark area surrounding the nipple) that the baby actually sucks on; not the nipple. Getting the baby to latch on reduces the baby’s chances of becoming “gassy”, and also allows the baby to control the flow of milk – something that is easier for the baby to do when breastfeeding rather than bottle feeding.

Also, the mother can take some general steps to avoid painful nipples. Nipples should be exposed to air as much as possible. If this isnt possible, then plastic dome-shaped breast shells (not nipple shields) can be worn to protect your nipples from rubbing by your clothing. Dont over wash the nipples; bathing once a day is more than enough.

Engorgement of the breasts usually occurs 3 to 4 days after birth but can be avoided by getting the baby to latch on correctly. However, if your breasts become engorged to the point of severe discomfort or if the baby is not able to suckle, cabbage leaves seem to help decrease the engorgement more rapidly than ice packs or other treatments. If you are unable to get the baby latched on, start cabbage leaves, start expressing your milk and give the expressed milk to the baby by spoon, cup, finger feeding or eyedropper. If it persists consult your midwife or health visitor.

Embarrassment of breastfeeding is something that Western society seems to condone. It was not always so. If you feel this way you should discuss this with your partner and family. If the support is not forthcoming, then try to educate them! Finally, use your doctor or midwife as a support. Attitudes in the medical profession have changed drastically in recent years and you should find a lot of support at your local clinic. If you dont then change clinic, midwife or doctor.

Breastfeeding really is a lot easier than bottle feeding and it is certainly a lot better for your baby. Companies making milk formula tell us how their formula is the most like breast milk it has ever been. Maybe this is true, but it never will be as good as breast milk. If you read the ingredients on the side of the tin you will find many of the following: vegetable oils; disodium guanosine-5, monophosphate, taurine, magnesium, sodium citrate, pantothenic acid, potassium chloride, beta-carotene and biotin. What exactly is disodium guanosine-5? Companies have been making formula for only the past century; women have been making breast milk a lot longer than that. Also, formula is made for everyones baby, whereas a mothers breast milk is unique; its made only for her child.

Getting up in the middle of the night to feed a baby is incredibly tiring. Why make it even more tiring than it already is by bottle feeding? When you bottle feed, you have to get out of bed and boil water, make the formula and then wait for it to cool before you can feed baby. When you breastfeed you dont have to even get out of bed, if you child is in a crib beside you. You can feed your child and go back to sleep far sooner than if you bottle feed.

Some other things that make breastfeeding easier than bottle feeding;

1. Its cheaper.
2. Its a lot easier to clean your breasts than a whole stack of bottles.
3. Breast milk doesnt leave permanent stains on clothes, unlike formula.
4. You can go anywhere, at anytime on the spur of the moment. You dont have to worry about having enough formula.
5. You also travel light; no need to bring a bag full of bottles and formula

Breastfeeding may be harder to get started than bottle-feeding for a lot of mothers, but the benefits outweigh these early problems. So, if you were thinking of bottle-feeding rather than breastfeeding, think again. Breast milk is pure goodness for your child and breastfeeding makes life a lot simpler for mothers.

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Parents unite! Complex as it is, it is possible to rear children into responsible, happy and well-adjusted adults. From our end as parents, it will take patience and commitment. However, it will also take wisdom and experience. This is where our support system and access to those who know will play a big role.

No doubt parenting has its priceless rewards. No treasure could equal having our own flesh and blood continue the family line and seeing facets of ourselves in sons and daughters. We all look forward to seeing our grandchildren around us during visits and warm family gatherings. Grandchildren (well supported and taken cared of by their parents of course) are the rewards of old age.

It is a fact though, that being a parent is stressful and demanding. We are faced with situations that would require Solomons wisdom. Unfortunately, as most of us know, we are no Solomon. We face a thousand and one issues everyday.

For most of us who have been in this parenting business for more than 10 years, we found out that just when we knew all the answers, they changed all the questions! The issues differ from pregnancy to babies, from babies to toddlers, from toddlers to pre-schoolers. These go on and on until our precious children reach adulthood and have families of their own.

This might sound scary to first timers. However, we must remember that for every stressful situation, they are magical moments and lots of them. We just have to learn to appreciate them when they come and not be bogged down with the challenges of the day. Children, trying as they are most of the time, are a great source of joy.

When these situations and issues come though, dont we just wish that there is someone who could give us advice? We seek out that special parent who has gone through the same ordeal we are now in yet came out triumphant. How we wish we had a support group to discuss certain case studies so much like our own and find a list of solutions and alternatives. Then we could go back to our parenting with renewed confidence and hope instead of feeling hopeless and distraught.

Being parents, being good parents is challenging. No, its not just challenging. Its tough! It is more than just providing for the material needs of our children. Wed like to be there for them, raise them to be winners or at least equip them with what they need to make a go at life.

On top of being parents, we are also faced with the challenges of our own careers, our relationships and our dreams. We have inner conflicts that we have to deal with. We have seemingly mundane tasks that are a necessary part of life. Dont we just wish we could find out how other parents cope? Just maybe, they have strategies to share with us or us with them. We all have our unique experiences that when shared could enrich each other.

Its really all about sharing what we know, what we have gone through, what works and what may not work. Its all about us and our children. Its all about being parents and what we could do to make each other better parents. Parenting is actually one long roller coaster ride for a lot of us. We could either be alone and agonize all through out the ride or with the help of others, enjoy it to the fullest.

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All newborns are, of course, different. Some sleep better than others at a young age, which prompts many parents to trade stories of how “lucky” or “unlucky” they were with a given child. There is, no doubt, a certain amount of mystery to getting a child to sleep well and through the night on his own. Nevertheless, a plethora of baby sleep tips exist intended to speed up the process which your child goes through before sleeping on his own.

Getting your child to sleep on his own in a timely fashion involves speeding up a natural transition: the one from sleeping with his mother to sleeping on his own. At first, when your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, he will cry for his mother, as this is the only way he knows how to fall asleep. One of the things you must do as a parent is help create the best environment for your baby to fall asleep on his own.

Many people naturally assume that the best environment for sleep is one of total silence: most of us are familiar with having to tiptoe around a sleeping baby’s room. Although a quiet environment is the best one for most adults, you’d be well advised to remember where your newborn baby has been sleeping for the past nine months: in his mother’s womb. In the womb, of course, your newborn slept in many situations that were far from quiet – when the mother was out in public, or socializing with other people. For this reason a newborn baby will often sleep better by being exposed to some quiet background noise.

You should be trying to allow some ambient “white noise” to be around your baby when he goes to sleep. Sudden loud noises will, of course, rouse him, but in most cases some background chatter and other soothing noises will help the sleep process: most adults, I’m sure, can likely remember falling asleep to the sounds of their parents and their friends having a conversation.

There are products marketed to new parents to create these ambient noises – most notably audio CDs containing tracks of soothing noise. It usually isn’t necessary to buy these, however – in most cases simply leaving the door to the baby’s nursery ajar will do the trick. In a similar vein, if your baby falls asleep around company, allow him to stay there rather than moving him to a quiet room.

By helping to create the best possible environment for your baby’s sleep, you help him learn to fall asleep in his own. Often a humming noise can help – we all know how easy it can be to fall asleep in a moving car – so having a humidifier or fan in the baby’s room can often do wonders.

Whatever solution you choose, remember that it needn’t be overly complicated. Simply leave the door ajar, or let your baby sleep in the company of others. Contrary to what many people intuitively think, if you keep your baby from sleeping in total silence, he’ll often sleep much better.

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Victim of the school bully

Many parents feel the pain for their bullied baby and feel helpless to make matters better either because the child is to afraid to name the perpetrators or denies blatantly that they are are a victim of abuse regardless of the bruises torn clothing and the fresh black eye every week.

Children wrapped up in their winter woollies for school because mum is protecting them from Jack Frost.

In summer mum’s protect with sun block and then protection takes place again with a healthy lunchbox full of Jamie Oliver’s goodies. But are we the parents protecting them the right way.
The smile on your child’s face is about to be wiped off by the school bully as he/she waves goodbye to mummy and daddy at the door.

The only company that your child has on his/her way to school is fear, fear of what is around the corner will it be a fist or a kick. My heart aches to think the mental pain this child who forever looking over their shoulder must be feeling.

We all know fear where our stomach fills with butterflies followed by spewing up the guts. For god sake how are these kids coping with the mental physical pain Will it ever end; even tortured by nightmares in their sleep and in some unfortunate cases the abused victim makes sure they never wake again.

Tackle a bully with a bully I say instead of committing them to a correction centre where life is made far too easy. Bullies aren’t so hard when confronted by a victim’s big brother/sister or member of the family. If you are a victim of abuse please talk to mum dad or teacher.

Do not be afraid of the bully now you have spoken out, your tormentor will still cause pain, only this time you have the last laugh because you gave them a reason and into the bargain they get to look over their shoulder now the authorities are onto them.

I can assure the bully that memories of their playground days will come back to haunt them. You will grow up hating yourself. No doubt you have nice side so put it to use to gain friends not enemies.
The next blow you cast could be fatal.

Parents check daily for signs of abuse, you may notice a change in personality marks like bruising or cuts. Look for ripped clothing or money going missing, your child may be funding the bully’s pocket. This is a fragile situation so handle with care, we do not want the child to feel they are being bullied by their own flesh and blood.

Offsprings leave and marry and unfortunately abuse may continue. Parents are not immortal so when the time comes to leave our kids to defend for them selves is out of our control.

Put a protection plan into force today with online education. Today’ society is about survival. By giving your child a decent education they get to make decisions for them selves not have them made by others.
Online education is the only way forward and if your child feels that enough is enough and wants to make a stand then the art of self defence can be found online too.

Want revenge on the playground bully without using violence. Then success is the sweetest revenge and if that means more education on how to excel then sweet is sweeter than sweet.

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