You Can’t Spoil a Child through Love
Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn’t spoil children. Love is imperative to a child’s healthy development, and it’s just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them.
It’s a parent’s job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life.
Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don’t want to fight with their children. They don’t want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you’ve set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you’re serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it’s now time to come home.
Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household’s rules and expectations. There’s no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.
Disciplining a young child using the time out method can be very effective, and will work with children as young as 18-24 months old. By using this method of discipline parents are giving the child time to sit quietly and alone after misbehaving, without becoming angry or agitated with the child.
Designate an appropriate area in the house where the child is isolated from interacting with others. It can be a corner in their bedroom, a space on the kitchen floor or a special chair that’s labeled specifically for time outs. The length should be age appropriate. A good rule of thumb is generally one minute per year of age. A kitchen timer is helpful in counting down your child’s punishment time.
Time out for toddlers is used to give them a chance to regroup and calm down. It’s doubtful they will sit completely still, and they should not be forced to try.
All children should be asked in a firm but pleasant tone to complete a designated task or stop an undesired behavior. If their behavior persists, they should be verbally directed to behave once again, with eye contact being made and the time out spot pointed out. If after this warning the behavior still persists, they should be escorted to the time out location and told exactly why they are being sent there. Maintain a calm but firm tone with them. Once they’ve quietly served their time in the time out location it’s important to discuss with the child why they were sent there and that if the behavior occurs again, they will again be sent to time out. Older children should then agree to do what you told him to do or cease misbehaving. Children who leave their time out location before their time is up must be made aware that privileges will be lost as a result.
It’s likely that your time out method will have to be modified to fit the temperament of your child and your own parenting style. And remember to reinforce positive behavior with praises, hugs and smiles. Time out can successfully be used outside the home such a grocery stores, restaurants, or shopping centers. It’s important to emphasize to the child that time out will be enforced should they misbehave while there. Be consistent and place the child in time out should they misbehave in the store. If you don’t, they’ll get the message early on that you’re inconsistent and will be more likely to test your boundaries.
Tags: Child Time, Discipline, Eye Contact, Hugs And Smiles, Interacting With Others, Kitchen Floor, Kitchen Timer, Misbehaving Children, Parenting Style, Parents, Praises, Privileges, Rule Of Thumb, Sit, Temperament, Time Out, Time Outs, Time Time, Toddlers, Undesired BehaviorRelated posts
There are three skills that are very important for our little ones to learn early in their lives.
1) Children need to be able to fall asleep on their own. Infants and toddlers who are always rocked to sleep, or breastfed or bottle fed to sleep, learn to depend upon others for falling asleep and do not develop their own falling asleep mechanism. This can cause much distress for parents who go through the nightly nightmare of trying to get their infant or toddler to sleep. Instead of always picking up and rocking a crying little one, which only reinforces the childs dependency on you putting him or her to sleep, try patting the child and then leaving for a few minutes. If you keep coming in, patting your child and reassuring him or her that you are here, eventually your child will stop depending upon you to rock, hold or feed him or her to sleep.
2) Children need to learn very young to play by themselves and amuse themselves. It is not healthy for children to be constantly dependent upon others, or upon the TV, to amuse them. I work with many adults who never learned to play by themselves. These adults feel lost when they are alone, having no idea what to do with themselves. Instead of turning to creative or learning opportunities, they may participate in addictions such as eating, drinking, drugs, TV, work, spending, and so on. When children learn to play by themselves at a young age, they tend to be more self-sufficient and creative as adult.
3) Children need to learn how to self-nurture. This means that they need to learn how to take some responsibility for their own feelings. Infants often self-soothe with their blanket, thumb, or pacifier. But as they grow older, they need to learn other ways of self-nurturing because they will not be taking their blanket or pacifier to school.
Even children as young as 2 1/2 years old can learn to attend to their own feelings. You can help your young children start to take responsibility for their feelings by giving them a doll or stuffed animal that represents their emotions. You can tell them that the doll or stuffed animal is the baby inside them that has a lot of different emotions. When they are feeling sad or angry, they can learn to talk to the baby inside and find out what that baby needs from them or from you. As they get older, they can learn to connect their thoughts with their feelings. They can learn that if they judge themselves by telling themselves that they are bad or stupid or ugly, they will feel very badly.
It is vitally important for all of us to connect our thoughts with our feelings. Most of us grew up believing that others caused all our good and painful feelings. If someone yelled at us or told us we were bad or stupid or ugly, we certainly felt badly, and if someone approved of us, we felt good. So we learned to believe that all our feelings are being caused by others. It is important for children to learn that their feelings are also affected by what they tell themselves and how they treat themselves. For example, if an older brother tells his younger brother that he is stupid, the younger child might start to tell himself he is stupid, without realizing that he is causing himself to feel very badly. By talking with his baby, he might realize he is treating himself in a way that is hurting him.
He also might also be able to understand that his brother is not telling him the truth. The way he can learn to realize this is by learning to access his Source of Love and Truth.
Small children can easily learn to open to a powerful Source of Love and Truth. You can ask them to imagine a wonderful friend, a guardian angel, or a fairy godmother. It is very easy for most children to imagine a wonderful being who is here to love them and guide them. They can be encouraged to ask questions of this loving being, such as Is it true that I am stupid? They can learn to bring through true and loving statements to themselves when they open to learning with their spiritual Guidance.
These skills, learned early in life, will do much to foster personal responsibility in our children.
Tags: Adult, Adults, Drugs, Feelings, Few Minutes, Infant Sleep, Infant Toddler, Infants And Toddlers, Little Ones, Nightmare, Pacifier, Parents, Personal Responsibility, Sleep, Sleep 2, Thumb, Toddler Sleep, Tv WorkRelated posts
Tired Of The Mess? Tips To Keep Your Child’s Room Neat
Wanting your child to be organized and stay safe is an innate desire for parents. But sometimes, your kids dont see it that way. All your kids want to do is play, play and play some more! If youre having a hard time keeping your childs room clean and organized, read on for some tips to help you achieve your goal.
Make the room efficient. Make use of small drawers and cabinets where you can put your childs belongings. Utilize anything that fits the design or budget. The easier it to access, the better chance that it will be used.
For toddlers, hanging their clothes on small hangers on a low hung rod can help them choose their outfit and help them to feel like they are making their own decisions. These feelings help them to start to like how things work, and as they grow they will like having their clothes hung.
Organizing a babys room is mostly for the benefit of the parent. Grouping the essential things you need in one area will help you find things quicker and make the job of caring for your baby much easier and safer. For example, put all the items you need for changing your baby on or near your changing table. You never want to leave your baby on the table to move across the room to pick up something thats out of place, and having to pick him up to do that is quite a pain as well. Likewise, arrange babys bath basics together including towels and washcloths. Keep them within easy reach when you are bathing your baby. After all, you cannot leave your baby in her tub while you look for the baby shampoo.
Place shelves at reaching height for your child in his or her room. Shelves can be used to put toys on and when your child wants to play, she can easily reach them without having to drag out all the other toys.
Place a limit on the toys that are used at one time. Teach your child to play with one toy at a time. Then before she can play with another toy, she must put the first one away. If its on a shelf thats at a level where she can easily access it, this job should be an easy one, she just may have to be reminded that the first toy has to be put back before the second one can be taken out.
Make organizing and keeping the room clean fun. Make using special containers for toys with small pieces a fun part of playing with that toy. For example, use an old shoebox as a toy car garage. Another example of making organization fun would be to place a basketball hoop on top of your little boys laundry hamper. Hell be able to practice some basketball moves every time he changes his clothes.
Teach your child how to clean his room. Ask your child to join you when you are cleaning his room. Point out that there is a place for everything and keeping the room clean is as easy as putting every item back in its place. As long as you dont let the room get too out of hand, cleaning will be easy. Eventually, you can transition to sitting on the bed and telling your child what needs to be done. Then later, he will know what to do without you being there.
Keeping a childs room clean can truly be a daunting task, but cleaning as you go and keeping organized makes it a lot easier. Follow the tips above and start to get in a habit, it takes practice and some time before you see results but its well worth the effort.
Tags: Baby Shampoo, Babys Room, Belongings, Benefit, Better Chance, Budget, Cabinets, Changing Table, Clothes, Decisions, Drawers, Essential Things, Feelings, Hangers, Hard Time, Innate Desire, Parents, Shelves, Toddlers, TowelsRelated posts
Its not the childs fault; Believe it or not, poor parenting is the main cause of bad behaviour in children.
Kids can be frustrating, annoying and down right infuriating at times and yet youre still expected to love and care for the little angels through thick and thin.
They wont admit it as often parents dont know any different, but often the problem is due to poor parenting which manifests itself in bad behaviour in the child. This in turn has a negative affect on the home and work life of everyone in the household as strife and conflict dominates the family.
Anne Sprigpitt, owner of Parenting-tips.info says, “Most parents dont realise it, but their actions have a direct influence on the behaviour of their child whether they are a toddler or a teen. Almost everything a child learns in the first few years of its life is from their parents and it is all stored in the childs memory for a later date.”
“The biggest problems are due to a lack of discipline, boundaries and standards, and most importantly a lack of affection and display of their love for the child. However, these can easily be resolved by applying simple parenting principles and strategies which can have an immediate and dramatic impact on the behaviour of the child.”
“In many cases, children who are repeatedly violent and disruptive in school are found to have deeply rooted problems at home, caused by bad parenting. Once this is realised and acknowledged a number of techniques can be implemented and significant improvements are often found in the childs behaviour in a matter of a few weeks or even days.”
Parenting is not easy, but it is not hard either, provided you establish a loving two way relationship with the child, set boundaries and discipline the child appropriately when necessary.
Tags: Bad Behaviour, Bad Parenting, Behaviour In Children, Conflict, Discipline Boundaries, Dramatic Impact, First Few Years, Household, Lack Of Affection, Little Angels, Love Child, Parenting Principles, Parenting Tips, Parents, Poor Parenting, Problems At Home, Relationship, Set Boundaries, Significant Improvements, StrifeRelated posts
Learning the alphabet is a key part of your child’s education especially when it comes to learning to read and write. It is important that children learn not only to recite the letters in order, but also to recognize letters out of sequence. In addition, after mastering basic recognition, children will need to learn the sounds each letter represents and how to write it.
While many parents recognize how important learning the alphabet is to their child they are not always sure how to go about teaching the alphabet to their child. Many parents spend a lot of money on expensive products and programs designed to teach the alphabet but that really isn’t necessary and in fact may well be counterproductive.
As a literate adult you don’t need any tools, programs or books to help you in your quest to teach the ABCs to your child. You already possess all you need in your head (your own knowledge of the alphabet) and in your house. There are three simple keys to teaching your child the alphabet:
* Make it fun
* Make it real
* Make it regular
The most important rule to remember when teaching young children is to make sure that learning is fun. If you can make lessons into a game, a craft, or a song then your child will be a willing and eager participant. If you make learning into something boring or something that looks like work then you will have to fight your child every step of the way. Your child wants to spend time having fun with you so why not make lessons into fun time that you spend together so you both look forward to the experience? Just because a lesson was fun enough to make your child want to do it again-and-again does not lessen its value. Learning can be fun and something that was learned in an enjoyable way is much more likely to stick with your child in the long term than a lesson that was forced. If you can make learning the alphabet fun for your child then you will have accomplished two very important steps toward your child’s long-term success — knowledge of the alphabet and an eagerness to learn.
Young children need to experience their world through their senses. They do learn in the more traditional ways — seeing and hearing — but often prefer a more tactile approach that includes touching, smelling, and tasting. The more you can make the letters of the alphabet come alive for your child and give your child access to those letters in a way that utilizes their senses then the easier it will be to learn. Also, utilizing the real world for your lessons will not only save you money but will also help you teach your child the value of literacy.
Preschoolers learn at an incredibly fast rate but because they are learning and experiencing so many new things they can forget what they have learned just as quickly. That is why it is important to make lessons a regular part of your child’s day. It doesn’t mean that you have to set aside a separate part of the day because often alphabet lessons can take place at the grocery store, in the car, or at the kitchen table. What is important is that you consistently introduce the letters to your child in various forms and consistently reinforce the acquisition of the alphabetic principle. Even after your child has mastered the alphabet make sure you periodically review the letters so they don’t lose the knowledge.
If you make learning the alphabet fun, real, and consistent then your preschooler will definitely have a head start when the time comes to learn to read.
Tags: Abcs, Adult, Alphabet Learning, Books, Child Education, Child Fun, Fun Time, Game, Having Fun, Knowledge, Learning Can Be Fun, Learning The Alphabet, Parents, Participant, S Education, Sounds, Teaching The Alphabet, Teaching Young Children, Ter, Three KeysRelated posts
Like most parents, my partner and I work hard to develop our children into healthy, well adjusted people. We want them to have the skills to persue whatever objectives they choose for themselves in this world.
None of us are perfect parents and we all learn from the past. The purpose of this article is to pass on one of our experiences. It had a profound effect on the way we approach the parenting game.
A few years ago, our two children were aged two and four. Over a period of weeks one of our boys had become increasingly naughty. His behaviour was rubbing off on his brother. Mum and dad had explored the usual discipline options but nothing seemed to work.
Eventually, as my partner and I discussed the boys behaviour, we decided that there must be a trigger. If we could find it, we thought we could perhaps effect a change for the better.
We wound back the clock to the time when the behaviour change emerged, then looked at what we had all been doing at around that time.
As it turned out, the onset corresponded with a time when my job was being restructured and my partner was as worried as I about the outcome. We were both focussed on ourselves and quite naturally were exhibiting signs of stress.
The result of this pressure, was that we had very little time for our children and they were not getting the attention they needed from us.
We decided to try an experiment. We set aside all our other priorities for the weekend and spend time with boys. Nothing special, just being with them and giving them quality time.
Their behaviours changed almost instantly. And it was a change for the better.
This small experience had a profound effect on the way we approach parenting. We learned that the behaviours of our children are significantly affected by our own behaviours.
We are now a lot more careful about the amount of time we spend with our boys. When there is a behavioural change from them, we look to ourselves first then check the external influences before we choose a course of action.
Parenting is a wonderful journey, full of twists turns and surprises. I hope that by sharing this small part of our life it will help you in yours.
Tags: Amount Of Time, Behaviour Change, Behavioural Change, Behaviours, Brother, Clock, Discipline Options, Experiences, Game, Job, Little Time, Mum And Dad, Parenting, Parents, Partner, Priorities, Profound Effect, Quality Time, Signs Of StressRelated posts
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by one or more of their childrens annoying habits or behaviours, whether it is a toddler who continually whines, a school-aged child who leaves clothes lying around or a teenager who uses a less than pleasant vocabulary.
How to affect change is a challenge for many parents. Do you ignore a childs annoying behaviour or do you pick up on it? A useful rule of thumb is to pick up on behaviours that are dangerous to the child himself or significantly infringe on the rights and comfort of others.
Also ask yourself: Is this behaviour reasonable for the childs age? For instance, it is reasonable to expect an eight year old not to disturb you while you are on the phone for twenty minutes but it is not reasonable to expect the same of a two year old.
It is also useful to take into account the childs current state of mind and what is going in on their lives that may be related to some unusual behaviour to occur at home.
The following four principles for changing your childs behaviour will be effective if you are both patient and persistent.
Principle one: Change your initial response first. This is important because childrens behaviour generally requires a pay-off, which may be your attention or an attempt to defeat you. The most important principle about changing childrens behaviour is to change your own behaviour first.So if your child’ whines (a child’s version of water torture) to get his own way refrain from answering back or giving in.
Principle two: Practise with your child the behaviour that you want. The notion of behaviour rehearsal is fundamental to learning a new behaviour. Dont just tell kids what you expect, get them to practise the behaviour you want. In the example of a young whiner – get him to practise asking for help or a treat in a normal voice.
Principle three: Minimise the behaviour you dont want. That means when children continue their old behaviour despite your brilliant suggestions ignore it, sidestep it or implement a consequence but dont nag or harp on it. Remember it takes time often to change a behaviour, particularly if it has been happening for a long time.
Principle four: Spotlight the appropriate behaviour. When your children behave in the desired way show your sincere appreciation. We often take children for granted or rather we are trained to give children no attention when they are good, but plenty when they are less than perfect. The behaviours we focus on expand so we need to focus our attention on desirable behaviours more than on the negative behaviours. For our young whiner it is essential to make a fuss when he uses a normal voice to get what he wants.
Like any process it will only work if you stick to it and follow it through. And dont be afraid to adapt it to suit your circumstances. Remember, it is the fact that you have a plan rather than the nature of the plan that is most powerful in achieving a change in your childrens behaviour.
For practical ideas to make children’s irritating behaviours such as whining, nagging, tantrums and sibling fighting disappear read Michael Grose’s ground-breaking book – One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au
Michael Grose is Australia’s leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print. For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
Tags: Annoying Habits, Attempt, Behaviours, Clothes, Current State, Driven To Distraction, Ig, Initial Response, Notion, Parents, Practise, Principle, Refrain From, Rehearsal, Rule Of Thumb, Teenager, Twenty Minutes, Vocabulary, Water Torture, WhinerRelated posts
The keys to raising happy kids that Super Nanny doesn’t tell you
There are many things to like about the television show Super Nanny that has captured the public interest recently.
First, the nanny character is very likeable, if a little scary at times. She has that old-fashioned school-teacher demeanour that says, Listen up. I know best and I am in charge here. Many of the families featured need someone who takes charge.
Second, if you are a parent, how can you not get involved in a show that gets you into the challenges of child rearing in such a nitty gritty, warts nall way that doesnt involve you? Okay, it is voyeuristic but it is doesnt relate to you, does it???!!! Importantly, this program has got people talking about raising kids, which is fantastic.
Third, while I dont agree with every technique presented the program gives good, solid advice and strategies about some common challenges many parents face. Importantly, it helps parenting become a happy experience again for many people as it is the little challenges that we face that can make the job so difficult.
Following is a users guide for watching Super Nanny to help you be discerning about what you see and to encourage you think about some of the principles that may be behind (or should be behind) the strategies presented.
1. Who owns the problem?
A crucial principle that the Super Nanny ignores is that of problem ownership. Problems in families are owned by either by parents, children or the family as a whole. Too often parents take on responsibilities that should belong to parents so issues escalate into power disputes. A simple question to ask when you see a misbehaviour presented is: Who owns this problem?
Lets give it a try:
a) Who owns the problem when a child comes into his parents bedroom at 3.00am? Answer: Parents so they need to come up with a strategy to deal with it.
b) Who owns the problem when a child refuses to eat at mealtime or is fussy at mealtime? Answer: The child so he or she needs to worry about eating, not his parents.
c) Who owns the problem when the family room is left in a mess? Answer: The family so everyone needs to address family room tidiness.
When watching this program make sure that the owner of the problem takes responsibility and parents stay out of problems such as eating and dressing that should belong to children.
2. What is the purpose of the behaviour?
When children are less than perfect look for parents place in their behaviour. Look specifically for what the parents do to contribute to the continuing misbehaviour. The point being is that children dont misbehave in a vacuum. Misbehaviour generally has the purpose of getting attention, defeating someone else or retaliation. Children throw tantrums because they are a great way to get control back. Eating refusal is a great way to get some attention or prove a childs power over a parent. Secondary bed-wetting is a great form of retaliation. Ask yourself, if the parent didnt respond to the misbehaviour as they routinely do would it continue? If not, then it gives a clue to the purpose of the behaviour.
3. How does the household routine contribute to the problem?
Make no mistake, even families with no obvious routine have a routine. It is just all over the place. Kids love an orderly routine as it gives life predictability. A large percentage of challenges can be prevented by having sensible child-friendly routines; particularly around mornings, around dinnertime and at bed-time, which are the three manic times in most families. A daily routine that gives time for childrens activities and that separates work and family is an essential in many families.
4. Do parents talk too much when children are less than perfect?
Parents often spend a great deal of their time telling children what they already know. Anyone ever said something like, How many times do I have tell you to put your toys away before dinner? Kids know what they are meant to do yet we remind them. It is better to put an action in place i.e. dont put dinner on the table until toys are packed away so kids know you mean what you say.
5. Does the misbehaviour intensify before it is eliminated if a change strategy is used?
Notice how childrens misbehaviour will often get worse before it is eliminated. A child who usually cries out successfully for his parents when he is put to bed will turn up the volume if his parents change their behaviour and ignore his cries for one more drink or another story. He will probably add tears and say some pretty hurtful things as a way of pressing the old guilt buttons. It may take a while but he will test his parents new found will and work out if they have a backbone or not.
6. Do parents have some time for them?
Many family challenges stem from the fact that parents are tired and stressed. Parents with two or more children close in age or those with children under five generally have a difficult time of it. Parents need some time each day (very hard) and each week just for them. If not then they generally become overwhelmed and lose perspective. They say they want strategies to deal with kids, when all they need is a break.
7. Do parents work together or does lack of teamwork contribute to the problems?
A big challenge for many parents is working together and getting on the same wavelength rather than working at odds with each other. Bedtime is a typical time when parents can inadvertently work against each other. For instance, one can settle the kids down while the other is busy amping them up with a game or two.
8. How will fixing one problem impact on the family?
It is amazing how resolving one parenting issue has a snowball effect on other problems. For instance, many parents who finally solve the battle of bedtimes find it is amazing how their childrens whinging and whining disappears. Yes, it is easier to cope with children when we have plenty of sleep under our belts but often the resolve we gain from overcoming something so draining gives us energy and the will to deal with lesser issues. And kids suddenly realise that mum and dad are suddenly different.
Keep an open mind if you do catch an episode of Super Nanny and look for principles behind the strategies so that you can adapt some of the ideas presented to suit your own family.
Michael Grose is Australia’s most popular parenting author and presenter. The author of six books for parents, published in numerous countries and translated into many languages Michael is well-known to readers around the world. Subscribe to Happy Kids, his forthnightly newsletter full of practical, thought-provoking ideas at http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to a free on-line parenting course.
Tags: Challenges, Child Rearing, Demeanour, Face, Job, Many Things, Mealtime, Misbehaviour, Parenting, Parents, Principle, Public Interest, Raising Happy Kids, Raising Kids, School Teacher, Super Nanny, Television Show, Users Guide, WartsRelated posts
The Importance Of Teaching Your Children Good Anger Management Skills
In this article I write about a parents role in teaching their child good anger management skills. How many times have you been shopping in for example a supermarket and witnessed an over-aggressive parent shouting at their child? This is exactly what not to do, that parent is giving a very bad example to their child in this example.
It is very important that we act as good role models and set good examples for our children. Two bickering parents who are constantly at each others throats or shouting orders at their children to be quiet for example, relays the wrong message to that child. If that child then has problems controlling their own anger, it should hardly come as a shock to their mom or dads.
A calm house is a happy house. Both parents are going to argue and have their differences, however they need to be adult enough to wait to discuss their issues once the kids have gone out or are in bed. I am aware that this is not always easy to carry off, but if both parents are in agreement, it can be achieved.
I am a parent myself and am certainly not a perfect dad. I actually kind of cheat as I have a bribing system in place. I have told my children that all I expect of them is to try their best, as long as they do this, it does not matter what grades they achieve. Two years ago my step-daughter who is now twelve started to play up, especially at school. I was quite shocked when I attended her parents evening to find out that she had not handed in her homework, that she had made little effort in the past couple of terms and that she had been disruptive to other members of her class.
To say I was unhappy with her is an under-statement. I was very angry, however told her that I did not want to speak about it until we arrived home. This was my way of controlling my own anger. When we had arrived home, I stated to her that I was upset about what I had heard and informed her that if she had done well, I would have bought her anything that she wanted, up to a certain amount of money. She was quite shocked by that and stated, even the England football kit. I said that I would have but that she was not having it now. I did however agree that if she did well during the next few terms, that I would.
She has never looked back since, but my bank manager is not happy with the situation. We also have a weekly bribe. If both of my children behave during the week they can choose a toy of their choice on the Saturday, again within reason. If and it often happens they do not deserve the toy, I have no need to become angry as they just do not get the reward. This makes them annoyed. but teaches them a huge lesson.
You may think that I am cheating but it works for us and we live in a very happy, chilled out house.
In conclusion, it is important to act they same way that you want your children to. If you are always angry and aggressive, they are also likely to be.
Tags: Act, Adult, Anger Management, Anger Management Skills, Controlling Anger, Dad, Good Anger, Good Role Models, Homework, Members, Mom, Parents, Relays, Shock, Step Daughter, Supermarket